Author Archives: Paul Mascetta

The Law Of Obligation/Reciprocity

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The Law of Obligation/Reciprocity states that people generally feel obligated to return favors or good deeds that have been done to them by others.

 Many years ago, when Dr. Robert Cialdini, - who is what I consider to be the "godfather” of influence  - was beginning his psychological research to really determine what makes people tick and what makes people think and act in a certain way, one of the essential aspects that he touched upon was the reciprocity factor.

People generally feel obligated to return favors or good deeds that have been done to them by others.  What this means is that if you do something good for someone, chances are they will feel indebted to you and want to return the favor.  This is a technique that has been used for thousands of years.  Even in ancient times when people didn't have money and barter was the general method of exchange among people, using reciprocity was just as popular then at as it is now. 

We see this many times in sales.  I've been a salesman for practically my entire life.  Most of the selling that I did was in the fitness industry.  When someone would enter the club asking about membership information, the first thing I would do is offer the prospect of free bottle of water.  This instantly sends a subconscious reciprocation trigger to the prospect causing them to feel obligated to me in some way, shape or form.  And in most cases, the way that the prospect returned the favor was by purchasing my product or service.  Now I'm not saying that by simply giving a prospect a bottle of water or a gift of some sort, will always result in a sale.  But the likelihood of you making the sale increases dramatically when you do. 

There's an old saying that says smiles are contagious; meaning that when someone smiles at us, we smile back. This is the the Law of Obligation in the rawest form.  Many times, we receive smiles from people that we don't even know or that we have no history with and/or have never done anything with.  But when they smile at us, we automatically fill indebted to smile back at them. 

There have been many multimillion dollar negotiations that began with a one-party bringing a gift to the meeting and presenting it to the other party before the negotiation even begins.  This is a goodwill gesture, which sends a message into the mind of the other party that you’re here for a win-win and you want all parties to benefit.  This lowers the resistance of the other party and makes them more receptive to whatever you have to say.  It also creates a feeling of obligation within. 

Just as people feel naturally obliged to return favors, they also feel very uneasy if they don't return favors or if favors are not returned to them. The Law of Obligation is nothing new and has been used for thousands of years.  The key to making it work is knowing what to offer and ensuring that it will be on the same level of what you expect in return.  I've seen countless people try to apply this law only to have it not work because the other party had different idea or viewpoint about whatever you contributed to them. Always make sure you’re on the same level as your target.

NLP Anchoring

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Isn't it amazing how you can stop a 200 ton boat in its tracks by simply dropping an anchor into the sea?

Anchors are extremely powerful and useful when it comes to keeping things in place and preventing them from drifting away.

Well what if I told you there was a way to do this with your positive emotions?

We've all had time in our lives when we felt more confident, more powerful and more skilled in a certain area.

And we've all certainly had those times were we felt like no matter what we tried, nothing seemed to work.  Did you ever notice that in both positive and negative mind states, we seem to build momentum in both cases?

In other words, when we're in a state of positivity, we just seem to build on that and enter what is known as the “zone”. And when we’re in a state of negativity, we feel like “when it rains, it pours”.

Let’s talk about positivity for a moment.

I can't think of a better example of someone being in the “zone” then Reggie Miller in the game-winning performance that he put on during game five in the 1994 NBA playoffs against the New York Knicks.

Coming into the game, the Indiana Pacers had lost 11 straight games at Madison Square Garden; but this game would be different.

In the fourth quarter of the game, Reggie scored 25 of his total 39 points and nailed five 3 pointers leading his team to a 93 – 86 win.  Keep in mind, the Pacers also came into this quarter down by 12 points.

This kind of positive momentum takes place in people's lives all the time, the problem is that most people don't know how to consciously make it happen whenever they want.

They know the feeling when they experience it and they know they're in the zone but very few people can actually get into that state whenever they choose.

Today I want to share a really interesting article with you on an NLP technique called anchoring.

Anchoring will basically allow you to effectively achieve the positive mental state of being in the zone and then remain in that place just as an anchor holds a ship in place.

Anchoring is a very useful tool. As the word implies, anchoring has to do with setting something up that will take firm hold in place.

What makes anchors so powerful is that you can use them to hold positive mental states in place including confidence, attraction, intelligence, humor, etc.

But you can also anchor alders to you to prevent them from drifting away.  Anchors are also talk to the concepts around you and when bringing all of these elements together, you can achieve things like making someone think you are funny even if you are generally not a funny person.

You can also anchor someone into thinking that you are extremely confident; here's how:

Anchoring yourself with confidence happens alone. When you anchor someone to yourself, it happens with someone else. 

Do not do this while driving, but what I would like you to do is to close your eyes and remember the time when you were confident. It can be anything. 

Examples are a birthday party, walking across the road and doing a good dead or anything else even if basic that you can pick out that made you feel confident. 

With your eyes closed, I’d like you to remember yourself in that situation. 

Whatever was going on is going on now in your mind. Paint the scene; see the colors and the people, if there are any. Smell the scent in the air. Does it smell good or bad? Does it smell like you are indoors or outdoors, like something new or old? Perhaps you just smell the clean air? What do you hear? Are people applauding, talking? Are their other sounds like those of birds?

Most importantly, how do you feel? How does it feel emotionally? Pretty good? 

Of course you do because you accomplished something and that feels good. It does not have to be an accomplishment; it can simply be that today I feel good. 

I have some sunglasses on, my hair is fixed up just so and I am wearing certain clothes as I sit in a nice car. I feel good. It can be anything but you are there now, in your memory. At that time when you felt really good, you felt confident. Notice the calmness that comes with that. Once we accomplish something and feel good, we can relax and think that we are worthy and we are a good person. Just kind of soak that in now and feel how good that is. 

I now want you to turn everything upside down a bit - The sounds, the smells and everything. Feel it more intensely and feel the clothes on your body. You notice how we are using the three major representational systems, auditory, visual and kinesthetic. Something to see, hear and feel inside and out. 

Also, pay attention to the odors and any other senses that you want. Make everything intense now and especially that sense of feeling good. It feels good to be you right in this moment in your memory. Feel the moment more intensely. 

Good. What I want you to do is make the OK sign with your right hand. That means touching the tip of your right index finger to the tip of your right thumb, as if you were saying ‘okay’ to someone. 

I want you to also say the word ‘power’ and to do that now. Good. I want you to slowly open your eyes. What we’ve done is installed an anchor for confidence. The next time you feel the lack of power or confidence in any situation, all you have to do is make the okay sound with your right hand and say the word power. That feeling of confidence will come back to you.

NLP Embedded Commands

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Today I want to talk about a term called phonological ambiguity.  I know it may sound pretty complicated, but what it means is that the brain cannot distinguish the difference between two words that sound alike but have different meanings. 

For example let’s take the word 'nose,' which represents the thing on your face that you use to smell things and the word 'knows,' which represents the fact that you understand something or have a certain amount of knowledge on a situation. 

Because these two words sound exactly alike, the brain cannot distinguish between the two of them.  In other words, they are ambiguous within your mind and can be understood interchangeably.

Here's how you can use this knowledge to influence just about anyone to do anything that you want. 

Within each of us is a conscious mind and a subconscious mind.  The conscious mind thinks, computes, calculates and can perform various other functions that involves “thinking.” 

The subconscious mind on the other hand does not “think,” it simply exists.  It makes rapid-fire decisions without you even realizing it, based on every previous experience you had in life. 

In the world of NLP, we use something called embedded commands to leverage the power of this truth.  Embedded commands, or analog marking, are the idea of marking out certain words in a statement that you are making. 

Many of these commands can be broken down to three word commands.  So the key is to break down the action that you want the person to take in just three words.  For example, let's say you wanted your friend to go to the store to pick you up some food, the only three words that need to be a part of this command are “Go to store.” 

But what makes embedded commands so interesting is that you are taking and formatting them in a way that is covert or so the person does not realize that they are receiving a command; but rest assured, they are.

This is what makes embedded commands so powerful.  Essentially, we can insert them into parts of conversations that have nothing to do with the command itself and get the person to do exactly what we want them to do. 

All you simply need to do is make a statement to someone and ensure that the three words essential to the command are in place, you just need to slightly emphasize them more. 

For instance, using the example of wanting someone to go to the store for you, you could use a statement like this (simply put more emphasis on the words in bold): I was trying to find someone's house the other day, but wasn't sure which way to GO so I asked TWO people and they said drive up to the next STORE and make a left.

What you have done here is created a statement that has absolutely nothing to do with what you want this person to do, yet they will eventually comply, because the command “GO TO STORE” was embedded in the statement. 

What makes this technique so great, is that it can be used in text messages and e-mails, just as it can in verbal communication.  When using it on both platforms, simply change the way the commands look in some aspect by either capitalizing or changing the font or making the words bigger.

Remember, it doesn't matter that I used the word two (which represents the number) in place of the word “to” because the mind can make a distinction anyway.  That makes the technique even more covert.

The key here is to just make sure that the commands have a slightly higher emphasis put on them than the rest of the words.  Notice that I said “slightly higher.” The idea is not to shout these words in a way that you bring attention to what you're doing just simply modify them in some way to make them stand out in the person's mind.

Future Pacing

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Have you ever had a dream that felt so real that when you woke up, you thought the dream was your reality? 

The reason this happens is because the mind does not understand the difference between reality and imagination. 

In other words, it cannot distinguish the difference between what you visualize in your mind as opposed to what you actually experience in life.

This is extremely powerful knowledge.  And the reason I say this is because all things in life are nothing more than energy in vibration.  And energy attracts energy of the same kind.  Therefore, if you can effectively visualize yourself doing something, you will at some point attract that reality into your life. 

The second reason why this fact is so powerful is because every time we do something we become better at it.  Experience enables us to be better prepared every time we come across a challenging encounter or situation.

 And since the mind can't tell the difference between a “real” situation and one that you've imagined, if you continuously visualize that situation, you will be well-prepared for it when it takes place in reality. 

Now imagine how powerful it would be if you could help other people create a crystal-clear vision of themselves in the future doing what you want them to do.  This would be extremely helpful in influencing people and gaining compliance. 

When it comes to Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), two of the most powerful techniques you can use are pacing and mirroring. 

I want to tell you about future pacing.  Future pacing, essentially, is when you take the person that you're speaking with and mentally bring them into a future event, where they can clearly see themselves doing something. 

If you remember from a previous article when I spoke about tapping into people's representational systems and determining whether they're auditory kinesthetic or visual, you can now use future pacing to help you once you figure out which category a person falls into.  

For example, let's assume that you're talking with someone who is an auditory thinker and you are trying to sell them a car. One of the most effective ways to get them to purchase that car is to tell them to imagine themselves in that brand-new car driving down the highway listening to the rev of the engine and their favorite music playing in the background. 

If you are dealing with a visual person, you would tell them to imagine themselves driving the car seeing the sunset and watching the trees blow in the wind as they got closer to the beach. 

And if they were kinesthetic, you could tell them to imagine what it would feel like to be in the car smelling the brand-new leather and feeling the sun gently warm their skin as they cruise down the highway. 

You have now done two things; first you have begun to align their thinking with the future reality that you want; so the attraction process has now begun.  The second thing that you have done is - by tapping into their representational system and creating a presentation based on that information - you have created a strong desire that this person will now want to bring to reality. 

You have now embedded change into this person's future and you have given them the opportunity to experience what you're offering in a positive manner before they actually get to that point.

Now, the key is to show what you have to offer can help fill the desire that you have created by helping the person visualize the future. 

If you can effectively do that, the person with whom you're speaking to will be genuinely interested in what you have to offer, because they see value in it.  And the reason why they see value in it is because you've created a desire within their mind and presented the solution that will help them in the form of whatever it is that you're offering.

Three Simple Steps To Build Confidence

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The door to the most enriched life possible sometimes never opens for some people. For some of them, they never want to progress or achieve more in life. They simply want remain stagnate.

Others choose destructive paths which never materialize into anything beneficial.

But what about those people who sincerely want the best out of life and make every attempt to achieve it but still wind up failing or “not making it”?

This is a question I wanted to find the answer to a long time ago. While success means something different to each of us, I equate a big part of success to achieving financial freedom.

I’m not saying that money is everything. But it certainly is very important for me because it allows me to be more of who I really am. It also allows me to do the things that I really enjoy and am passionate about.

For me, time is what I find to be of the most value. The more time that I have to do whatever it is that I choose like playing with my children, traveling, listening to music, etc; the more enriched my life feels.

To be able to do these things, I need money. And when you aren’t born with a silver spoon in your mouth or “come from money” – as they say – you have 2 options to generate money; you can either work for someone else or you can borrow it from another party.

What you do with it after you receive it is a whole other story.

I have read tons of books, watched countless videos and listened to hundreds of recordings on building wealth and achieving financial freedom. Many of these resources contain the message “Do what you truly love and are passionate and everything else will fall into place.”

On a spiritual level, the message is that we were all put on the planet with some purpose and until we are serving that purpose, we will remain unfulfilled, spiritually, mentally and financially.

On a physical level, the message is that when we are partaking in things that we truly love to do, time disappears. Because we are involved in a labor of love, it’s not as if we are not actually working and this eliminates many of the variables that are involved in people giving up.

Therefore, instead of quitting when most people would, we go the distance and succeed.

Do you think Michael Jordan could have practiced the way he did if he didn’t truly love the game of basketball?

Here’s where things get tricky. You see, life doesn’t always unfold exactly the way we’ve planned and odds are that many people are just working to survive and pay the bills. To just wake up one day and decide to quit your job to go pursue your dream can be quite scary. I’ll come back to this in a minute.

Back to my research; since I wanted to learn more about how people build wealth, I purchased a book entitled “The Millionaire Mind” by Thomas J. Stanley which consisted of hundreds of interviews with millionaires (most self-made) to see what characteristics they shared in building their wealth.

One of the most common characteristics they shared wasn’t inherited wealth or persistence or even determination. It was nothing more than their ability to deal with people.

Their ability to effectively partner and build relationships with others is what played a crucial role in the wealth building process for these millionaires.

What I came to realize after years of research is that the same factor which prevents people from following their dreams is also the same factor which prevents people from building relationships with others.

That factor is nothing more than lack of confidence. It sounds rather cliché but it couldn’t be truer.

Confidence is the one thing that catapults you toward success or completely hinders your chances of achieving it. The reason being is because even with other great qualities like persistence, discipline, good work ethic, talent, intelligence, etc; at some point you will need the confidence to introduce these powers to others and take risks.

These same truths apply to your personal life. You could have all the qualities of a great partner but if you do not have the confidence to approach someone you are interested in, chances are you will remain lonely for a very long time.

And while money opens doors, relationships nurture the soul. With confidence, you will enable yourself to enjoy both.

Now the question becomes how does one develop confidence?

There are 3 things that I generally do when I need to develop confidence about a certain area of my life.

First, I educate myself. I research and learn as much about what it is I am getting involved in so that I can equip myself with the knowledge that I need to be successful.

In most cases, a person’s lack of confidence comes from their fear of failure. Failure is the result of not knowing or not doing and nothing more.

When you fail at something, it’s either because you didn’t take action in time or at all or you took the wrong action because you didn’t have enough information to make the right decision.

Therefore, you must know as much as possible about what you’re about to do so that your chances of failure will become lessened. Doing this efficiently and effectively will alone boost your confidence.

The second thing that I’ve always found it to be effective is to use past successes as a crutch for future ones. In other words, I think about a time when I wanted to achieve a goal and did so with no problem. I also think of those special moments where I was “in the zone” as they say.

We’ve all had these moments where we just can’t seem to do anything wrong. Everything we are doing is spot on and things seem as if they are just falling into place.

I mentally take myself back to that moment and think of how I felt and what was going through my mind and that really helps to build the confidence that I need to take the next risk or make the next move.

In Neuro Linguistic programming or NLP this is known as anchoring and it’s a very effective technique that I would recommend to anyone.

Lastly, I think about is the worst case scenario that could result from my action. In most cases, when you really take a close look at what’s at stake, you’ll quickly see how the worst case scenario, well….could be worse.

I always tell myself, as long as this decision will not inflict harm on me or anyone else, chances are the outcome (if undesired) could be remedied. Some may take longer than others but still the most negative outcomes can be fixed.

NLP Representational Systems

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One of the biggest mistakes that people make when trying to influence or persuade others is to deliver their presentation based on what they think is right, what they think is fair and what they think makes sense.

In other words, people assume that the most effective way to gain compliance from others is by sharing their point of view.  The reality is that when you are trying to persuade someone, you must first gain their attention.  This can be quite challenging, because most people really don't listen, they just simply remain quiet and wait for their turn to talk.

Every time you make a presentation based on your point of view, all you do is reinforce the behavior characterized by people not listening to you; just simply waiting for their turn to talk.

They key to gaining their attention quickly and engaging them is to construct your presentation around their view of the world; as opposed to yours.

Remember if everyone saw the world the same way and shared the same opinions, there would be no need to influence and persuade as everyone would naturally be in compliance with one another.

The method by which you construct your presentation around their view of the world is by determining their representational systems.

Representational systems are nothing more than the way we think, talk, understand and represent the world.

In Neuro Linguistic Programming or NLP, there are three recognized representational systems which include visual auditory and kinesthetic.

Visual people relate to the world generally by the way they see things.  When they speak, they will use terms like “I see, what you're saying” or “I can see why you would think that way”.

Visual people like to see the world in terms of pictures.  Therefore, creating a visual story or painting a picture for someone with this representational system will be more effective than anything else you might attempt.

Visual people also like to observe others and maybe fascinated with photography or things that generally involve admiration or envisioning.

These people also enjoy reading and watching movies very much.

What's interesting is that they usually remember names as a result of a visual cue that they received.  An example would be how something about a person's face that they just met would remind them of the person's name.

Visual people are also very concerned with their appearance, and they work better when following directions that are clearly written down.  When trying to influence a visual thinker, your best bet is to provide them with written documentation in the form of directions, proof or a general explanation of what you're speaking about.

Next on the list are auditory people.  Auditory people assimilate information by tuning in or listening to clearly hear what it is that they are being told.  They also enjoy talking with others and conversation is something that they find very interesting.

For auditory people their world is represented by sound, therefore, to get their attention and engage them, you must say something that sounds very appealing to them.

Just as visual people like to look at directions auditory people would rather hear directions read out loud by someone else, because retaining the information by looking at it can be difficult for them, whereas hearing it is much easier for them.

Auditory people like to use phrases like, “that sounds good”, “that is clear as a bell” and “listen to me”.

Simply put, auditory people understand spoken language more than anything else.  Therefore, when making a presentation to them, focus more on the way that you're saying things as opposed to writing things down or trying to create a vision for them.

The third type of representational system is called kinesthetic.  People who fall into this category relate to the world, make decisions and behave based upon the way something feels to them.  You could call them touchy-feely people.  They relate to both touch and motion.

Kinesthetic people assimilate information through their sense of touch.  And because of this, they are very skilled in certain areas.  As an example, they are typically known to acquire a physical skill faster than the average person.

Common phrases that you may hear come out of the mouth of a person who is kinesthetic say things like “callus” or “all washed up”.  They may also use phrases like, “I feel you” or “that feels right”.

They also like to give analogies that relate to the way you would feel if certain event took place.  As an example, instead of saying “I was really mad”, they would say something like “my blood was boiling”.

The key to any persuasion attempt is to build rapport.  Rapport is basically the connection that you create with someone which lowers their guards and makes them more receptive to your presentation.

One of the most effective ways to build rapport is by determining which representational system a person has.

If you find in your conversation with them that they use phrases like” seeing your point” or “looking ahead to the future”, chances are this person is a visual thinker and you should communicate with them in a way that is conducive to their representational system.

Aside from understanding your message more clearly, they will also feel naturally connected to you as people generally feel bonded or connected to those that remind them of themselves or those with whom they have things in common with.

The next time you begin a conversation with someone,start paying attention to the way they communicate.  You'll begin to notice that people generally fall into one of these three categories and you will be better equipped to communicate with them.

Now there will be times where people are using multiple representational systems but generally there is one dominant system that controls their outlook on life.

Words Without Speaking

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Do you ever wonder how some people just always seem to get what they want no matter what the circumstances? 

Or how some people can just walk into a room and “own” it? 

Or how certain people seem to lays have some person they can go to for a favor or to get something done? 

I’m sure you’ve either seen or perhaps even personally know someone who exhibits these characteristics. 

And in most cases, they’re usually very successful in other aspects of their life including their relationships, finances and even discovering ad living their life purpose. 

That’s a pretty powerful position be in if you ask me. 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, nothing in life will ever be more valuable to you in your quest to achieve success than your ability to influence other people. 

Nothing on earth including education, passion, experience or drive can supersede the ability to persuade because in order to fully leverage any one of those things, you will probably need the help of someone else at some point. 

And if you can’t get the compliance that you need, chances are that those other things won’t mean anything. 

The reality is that you could graduate from Harvard Law School with honors and know everything there is to know about law but if you can’t convince a jury, a judge or a decision making third party to see things your way, the outcome will go in favor of the person who has the higher level of persuasiveness. 

You could know everything there is to know about investing in real estate but if you can’t convince the person with the money to give it to you, you won’t be able to get started. 

Or perhaps you don’t need any money from someone else but you will need to get properties for the lowest price possible and that’s going to take the ability to be influential. 

Let’s put it this way, think of whatever it is that you want out of life and then every step that you will have to take to get what you want. 

If you look closely enough, you will see that at some point, you will need the help of someone else and to get that help, you’re going to have to equip yourself with certain capabilities. 

I’ve used the power of influence in many different ways to get exactly what I want from other people without manipulating them in any way. 

In fact, in most cases, they were happy to help. 

When it comes to influence however, many people associate it directly with being persuasive. And many people associate persuasiveness with the ability to talk someone into doing what you want them to do. 

And while that’s certainly part of the process, it’s only one aspect. 

You see, there are many different ways to effectively influence another person and one of the most important one of them is body language. 

As a matter of fact, in some cases, the body does more influencing than anything else . 

Think about how you would feel if someone was trying to persuade you to do something and you were having a conversation with them but every time you began to speak, they looked away. 

Wouldn’t that give you the impression that they are not interested in what you have to say? 

That in turn, would make you feel as though perhaps they are not valuing your opinion and would make you less compliant to them. 

And this example is just one of many that is clearly visible. 

There are countless other bodily movements that send messages to the subconscious minds of others that will either support or counteract what your are trying to achieve in your tactics of influence. 

For example, when a person sits with their arms crossed, it sends a message to subconscious mind of the person they are speaking to which indicates that they are defensive. 

Knowing this, you can prepare yourself to not cross your arms when speaking to someone that you are trying to influence but more importantly, you’ll notice when the other person does it so you’ll know they are guarding them self. 

With that knowledge, you can then proceed in a way that will help reduce the defensiveness and ultimately get what you want. 

These are just 2 examples of countless ways in which people communicate using body language. The key is to master the mechanisms by which they all work so you can capitalize off of them by knowing something that the other party does not.

Ten Simple Steps To Acheive Goals

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Today I would like to take a moment to talk about of the most important aspects of personal development. It’s called goal setting.

Many people think they have set goals but in reality, they are just fantasizing about what they want in the future. 

Ask yourself this question “What goals do I want to achieve in life?” Now ask yourself  how many of these goals have been written down as if they are presently achieved with dates attached to them, are attached to what you are willing to give in exchange to achieve them, are committed to memory and read aloud every single day in the morning and just before bed? 

If you have skipped any of the above steps, I regret to inform you that you are merely fantasizing about your future instead of proactively creating it. 

I make it my business on January first to create a list of goals for the year which are then broken down by month, week, and day and in some cases, even the hour. 

Here’s something to think about. My wife and I just celebrated the birth of our second child; a beautiful baby girl. With this new blessing comes a ton of new things like diapers, formula and last but not least baby furniture which requires home assembly. 

Now at first glance, when attempting to put this stuff together, it seems quite overwhelming. There are countless screws, nuts, bolts, shelves, washers, etc. 

That’s where the directions come into play. Every page includes a list of instructions with a picture that teaches you how to assemble the product in a certain order. When followed correctly, the end result is the newly assembled product. 

I can personally say for myself that if I did not have a list of instructions, I would either give up on the assembly or just not even start it to begin with because the vision of all the pieces and no idea of how to put them together would just frustrate me to no end.

The same applies to goals in life. Sometimes, at first glance, goals can seem overwhelming and intimidating but when you break them down into smaller more “achievable” steps, things start to become much easier. 

This also brings with it another benefit. You see, every time you achieve one goal, it serves a confidence builder for other goals. 

So here’s my personal 10 step formula for effective goal setting. 

1.) Make sure all goals are written down. Studies show that once something is written, it becomes 90 percent more realistic. 

2.) Start with large goals that are then broken down into smaller goals – This makes things easier to digest and enables you to use the achievement of smaller goals as a crutch to achieve larger ones.

 3.) Make your goals as specific as possible – This ensures that the universe will provide exactly what you want rather than something indefinite. 

4.) State your goals as if you are already achieving them. For example, if you want to make $10,000 per month, say “I am making $10,000 per month as opposed to saying “I will make $10,000 per month”. This sends a message to the universe that says it must start providing you with you want ASAP.

5.) Attach a deadline to your goals – This ensures that they will actually be achieved rather than spending your whole life planning and not actually achieving. 

6.) State what you are willing to give in exchange for your goals – This makes them realistic rather than just fantasy. Remember, there’s no such thing as something for nothing.

7.) Commit them to memory by following step 8. 

8.) Read your goals aloud every morning and every evening just before bed – Studies show that the way we start our day dictates how we will finish it. Additionally, whatever we think about just before going to sleep will be planted into the subconscious over and over again while we sleep. 

9.) Revisit your goals and ensure you are on track to achieve them. 

10.) Make any needed changes. If something’s not working, change it. Sometimes, the quest to success involves changes on the roads map. It’s your responsibility to identify and implement them whenever necessary.

The One Thing You Can Sell...That Everyone Wants

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People ask me all the time, how do you build a successful business doing what you love?

How you discover your life purpose to what you truly passionate about and have people pay you enough money that you can actually live or maybe even get rich from doing so?

 Now I've done my fair share research on this topic and most of the time you hear things like you have to search deep within to figure out your life purpose and then figure out how you can use that to serve others and then begin assembling business make money from your passion

Now while those things are true, in my opinion they are secondary to what you should be focusing on initially which is becoming a seller of information.  We are now living in the age of information. The entire world is functioning as a result of the information that people access and how it can make things more effective, easier, more efficient, more entertaining, less painful, less time consuming and more profitable. It’s really that simple.

Once you begin to shift your focus from things that are centered on your personal needs like making money or doing what you love to providing information to others, things become much clearer and easier.

If you look at the most successful and wealthiest people in the world - regardless of what business they are in – they are in demand because they have information that other people want and are willing to pay for.

Now before the pessimistic side of you starts whispering things in your ear like “You don’t have any information that would be of value to anyone else” or “no one would ever pay for information from you” think again. You see, information is nothing more than a commodity.

And its value is based on the demand of it just like anything else.   The higher the demand for the information, the more valuable it becomes.

What makes information different than other sources of trade like consumer goods for example is that its availability is never limited in the physical form. In other words, it never really runs out as more people get their hands on it.

What can happen is that as more people get their hands on it and share it with others, it becomes easier to find. And once it becomes easier to find, it becomes less valuable.

The key to achieving extremely high levels of success when it comes to information is recognizing the roles of circumstance and urgency and then using them to your advantage.

I think I first realized this truth when I began my career as a copywriter for Internet marketers.

As a child I always struggled with math.  In fact, until this very day, I can only perform basic arithmetic.  Writing however, is something that always came very easy to me.  In fact, there was a point in my life where I would have other kids in school actually paying me to write essays for them.  Most of my ability to write comes from my imagination and because imagination is something that everyone has, I always made the assumption that everyone should be able to convey their thoughts to writing.

And many times people who have a natural talent or knack for something make the false assumption that everyone can perform the same task just as easily.  And so what happens is you begin to believe that either you don't have any information that would be valuable to anyone else or the information that you do have is just plain common sense and anyone can get their hands on it.

The truth is that in most cases, it all has to do with timing and circumstances. The timeliness or urgency of information and the circumstances behind it are what really create its demand.

Here's an example. Let’s say I was on my way to a big job interview. This is a job that could potentially fix all my problems. It’s my dream job. It’s everything I ever wanted. It’s the reason I went to school for so many years. The boss tells me, whatever I do; do not be late for the interview. He’s a real stickler for tardiness.

Suddenly, when I’m about half way there, my GPS dies and I realize I don’t have the charger.

I don’t want to be late for this interview. So try to Google the directions on my cell phone but I can’t get any reception.

I look to my left and right and then in my rear view mirror but I don’t see any other cars in site.

Suddenly I see some cars driving but it’s going to be next to impossible to get one of them to stop.

Now I’m really beginning to worry. The clock is ticking. I start driving and I see a gas station up head and hope that maybe someone in the gas station can help me.

Now whether or not I actually get the directions is irrelevant. The point is that whoever I see in that gas station is someone that I hope has the information that I need. In fact, I may even pay a few dollars for it if they were bold enough to ask for it. And if they do in fact have what I need, I will be extremely grateful and for a moment I might even look at them like a hero.

And for what? All they did was give me public information…THAT I HAD ONLY MINUTES BEFORE!

Circumstances and urgency can make even the most common, simple, well known information instantly valuable.

Think about something that you enjoy doing, something that comes relatively easy to you or a subject of conversation that you are knowledgeable about because you tend to remember things that you learn about that topic better than you do in other areas.

Once you've identified this thing.  Think about a group of people who would find it valuable.  And then think about how timing and circumstances would affect that group of people's desire to have what you possess.

Now, what I just shared with you might not enable you to build a multimillion dollar business overnight, but it's a great starting point for you to put the wheels within your mind in motion and start asking yourself questions that are can lead you closer to achieving success by serving others with valuable information.

What Commitments Can Do For You

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Today I want to talk about something that is essential to achievement, improving the quality of your life and empowering you as an influencer.

It’s something that sets the precedent for every decision and result that you achieve.

And it’s something that may sound so ridiculously obvious and unnecessary to even mention but the truth is, many people are either unaware of it or have a misconception of what it is.

This special something is called commitment.

Our destiny is shaped by our decisions. Our decisions are guided by our beliefs.

We formulate a belief about something which will then prompt us to make certain decisions based on that belief.

For example, let’s assume that you believe that you are over weight. That belief brings you to a decision that you have to lose weight by doing what most people do to lose weight which is to change your eating habits and exercise.

And so you do that for a few weeks and you may even see some results but for some reason you slow down and eventually stop.

The result is that you wind up in the same state that you began in, if not worse.

Keep in mind, this is just one example. Some people actually exercise and eat well for years only to go back to their old habits and gain all the weight back. In other words, it happens to people regardless of how long they form the habit.

So the question that I ask myself is “Why?” Why do people change their decisions from something that can benefit their lives such as exercising or eating better or stopping smoking or drinking alcohol only to go back and do it again?

The answer is simple. It’s their belief system.

You see, it’s our beliefs that prompt us to make a decision. It doesn’t matter whether that decision is positive or negative.

The only difference is the belief. So my theory is, the reason why people seem to fall back into bad habits even after they’ve formed positive one’s is because their beliefs changed somewhere along the way.

Take a person who decides to quit smoking.

Maybe at some point they formed the belief that smoking is bad for them. And that if they kept it up, they would eventually have huge consequences to pay and so they stop.

 At some point in their life however, they start smoking again. The reason this happens is because the belief changes.

 That belief could change into millions different things depending on what the original belief was. If the original belief as that there are huge consequences to pay for smoking, maybe the new belief is that those consequences only happen to certain people.

Or maybe it’s that those consequences can be fixed with the help of doctors or medications or that those consequences take time to develop and by the time things get bad, they’ll have already quit.

Or maybe even it’s that while those consequences are serious, the reward or temporary enjoyment that they get from smoking out weighs those consequences.

Again, there are million different ways this could go. The point is, beliefs change, and then decisions change which ultimately causes the results to change.

So now the question becomes how do we keep the beliefs from changing? Can we even prevent beliefs from changing? 

I guess it really all depends on the individual. Moreover, there are many different answers to questions and with each answer comes a new way of doing things.

One surefire way that I can I think of to stay true to a positive decision whether your belief changes or not is through making a commitment.

You see, a true commitment is different than a decision. A decision can be changed but a true commitment cannot. Otherwise, it’s not a commitment.

I think many people have a problem with this.

They “think” they’re making commitments but in reality they’re just making decisions.

Making a commitment to stop smoking means you can never smoke again and are committed to everything that comes with it. Deciding to stop smoking means you can decide to go right back.

The point is, commitments are final and should not be changed; unless of course they are negative.

Think about the impact that making decisions rather than commitments can have on your relationships with others. Theoretically, you could decide to change the rules at any point and perhaps lose a great friend, spouse, lover, life partner, etc.

Here’s a quick and simple way to set your commitments:

First, write them down. Until it’s written down, it’s not real. It’s merely a thought that is circulating in your mind from time to time. Once written down however, it becomes to materialize into something of substance and only then can it stand a chance of being followed through on.

Second, pick 3 goals that if achieved would ensure that this commitment is being followed through on. Again, you must write them down for the same reasons listed above motioned above. These goals must be S.M.A.R.T. which means specific, measureable, attainable, realistic and timed. This will further ensure that these goals are achieved.

Lastly, you must form the habits needed to support the attainment of these goals.

We all have habits. The key is to form habits that will impact your life positively rather than negatively.

 If you can make commitments that are broken down into goals which are driven by habits, you will keep those commitments alive and well. And there is no greater feeling than making a commitment and sticking to it.

In terms of how this will impact your results as an influencer, one key element in your ability to influence others will be the amount of respect they have for you. Simply put, it’s very hard to influence someone if they don’t respect you.

One proven way to gain respect on some level is to show people that you stick to your commitments. When you’re able to do that, you are automatically perceived as someone who has strength, focus, discipline and credibility; all of which are prerequisites for respect.