Five Ways To Begin Conversational Hypnosis

Training yourself to become an effective conversational hypnotist can sometimes be difficult because there are so many areas to cover and so many techniques to master. Let me be the first one to admit that it is not going to be a walk in the park if you are seeking true personal excellence. But then again, nothing is really easy in this life, right?

The easiest thing to do in our world today is to simply quit and I am fairly certain that this is the last thing on your mind. And this is the reason why I created this check list for you. It will cover a variety of techniques, mixed together to give you a better sense of your responsibilities as a persuader/ influencer/hypnotist.

Bear in mind that no singular list can ever sum up all of the things that you need to cover when you are practicing conversational hypnosis. But this does not mean that you will never get a good handle on the subject. This just means that you have to learn as much as you can and practice as much as you can, too.I

If you are ready to improve your chances of becoming a successful hypnotist, let me help you review some of the most essential techniques in conversational hypnosis and hypnosis in general.

1. Refocusing - The fastest way to bring someone into a hypnotic trance (even if the subject is not aware that he is being hypnotized) is through the process of refocusing.
Refocusing is actually very easy to achieve when you are interacting with another person. All you have to do is to introduce a peculiar stimulus that will temporarily take away your subject’s attention on whatever he was thinking of at the moment.

Hypnotists are known for being extremely creative with the process of refocusing. They use a variety of ruses and tools to achieve hypnotic trances.

One of the more popular tools is the swinging pendulum. The pendulum really has no magical powers, as you may already know. It’s the swinging motion that really helps the hypnotist create the hypnotic trance.

The same effect can be achieved with an imaginary crystal ball or a swinging pen cap.

A shiny golden watch with a chain or a gleaming pendulum might sound neat, but since you can’t use any of those things when you are covertly hypnotizing people, your best recourse would be your own words and the stuff that you find in your immediate environment.

For example, instead of holding a swinging pendulum in front of your subject, you can just ask him to take a look at a strange looking tree in the distance. The distraction will allow the subject to enter a hypnotic trance.

2. Suggestion - The power of suggestion is still a vital component in any kind of hypnosis. The ‘truth’ as it is perceived in objective reality has little to do with the kind of reality perceived by your subject. What is true for ninety other people might not be true or real for your subject if you conditioned him to believe otherwise.

So instead of just trying to persuade your subject to believe, I want you to really exert some effort to create an alternate world for your subject. This alternate world will have slightly modified coordinates so that the truth as you espouse it will gain immediate validity.

3. Agreement Frames - If your main goal in an interaction is to simply gain the approval of your subject so you can produce a definite outcome (e.g. a sale), what you really need to do is to use agreement frames. Agreement frames are used not only for establishing rapport but also for preconditioning the subject to just agree with everything you are saying. Agreement frames can work quite well because you are working directly with the subject’s feedback and you can adjust your statements based on whether the subject is actually responding to what you’re saying.

4. Project Confidence - If reading your subject’s body language in general is important then it also logically follows that you have to be more conscious about your own gestures, body postures and facial expressions. If you want your subject to respect you as an authority, always use gestures and expressions that exude confidence and calmness. Your gestures should always be dynamic and open, not closed and defensive.

5. Guided Visualization - A person can experience several levels of trance; the deeper he goes into the trance the more in-tune he becomes with you and your message. How can you ensure that your subject will slip deeper into a trance without him noticing it?

The trick is in the way you create guided visualizations for your subject. Guided visualization is simply appealing to a person’s creative unconscious.
You see, the human mind depends greatly on visualizations to make sense of the world. Language itself would not mean anything if a person was not able to imagine something.
When I say “fat red cat with yellow bouncing ball”, your mind will immediately attempt to decode my message by taking each element of the expression and giving it a corresponding image or in some cases, sound.

You should take advantage of the fact that people are so dependent on visualizations to make sense of reality. Try to create deeper trance states by encouraging the subject to imagine himself in some other location or event.

Once the subject is in that new location in his mind, you can continue deepening the trance by asking the subject to think about your message again, before shifting to another imaginary place. Hypnotherapists use this technique all the time and the results are nothing short of amazing.

People have been known to quit smoking or alcohol almost overnight under the hands of powerful hypnotherapists who did nothing but give the ‘talking cure’.

You can take the same powerful principles in clinical hypnotherapy and appropriate them for conversational hypnosis. You might not be in a clinical hypnotherapist’s office but you are still a hypnotist capable of using different techniques to achieve the best outcomes.

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Seven Steps To Using Hypnotic Language

Seven Steps To Using Hypnotic Language

Hypnotic Language is one of the most powerful forms of persuasion on the planet. It utilizes the core concepts of hypnosis which are designed to direct the thoughts of another person to your desired direction. Only instead of using the techniques in a therapeutic setting, you're simply using them to be more persuasive. The thing is, there's a very fine line between persuasion and manipulation. In fact, the only difference between the two is the intention of the end user. When dealing with something as powerful and effective as hypnotic language, things can go from persuasive to manipulative very fast so you need to really be cognizant of how you use the techniques.

That being said, there's a formula or "blueprint" as I like to call it when using hypnotic language  and in this blog post I'm going to share it with you.


OK let's go.

The following techniques can be used out of order, when appropriate. However, hypnotic language when used in everyday conversation typically follows a particular procedure and order, as indicated below. It is recommended that you start by following the ensuing stages of hypnotic persuasion in order, one at a time, gradually advancing from one stage to the next. After you have practiced all these techniques and experienced some success with them, then you may be prepared to mix up the order and method that you use.


Step 1: Assess The Hypnotic Landscape

Before attempting to persuade someone using hypnotic language, you should ensure that hypnosis is necessary or even beneficial for yourself and for them. Begin by asking in a non-confrontational way about the issue or issues that concern you. If you are looking for a raise, ask your boss about the raise schedule, or his or her evaluation of your performance. If you are trying to convince a co-worker to cover a shift for you, ask him or her about their upcoming schedule, or whether they have been getting enough hours of late.

Ask yourself, how far is this person from agreeing with you? Is there a logical or explicit way that you might be able to reason with them or convince them to think or behave in the way that you desire? Is it necessary for you to resort to alternate methods of persuasion to get what you want from them? How badly to you desire the outcome you are seeking? If all your answers to these questions point to the use of hypnosis, move ahead to Step 2.

Step 2: Assess Emotional and Psychological Preparedness

If you have determined that persuasion using hypnotic language is necessary, you now must determine if it is advisable. To determine this, ask yourself if there is any emotional or psychological benefit to hypnosis for the person you are attempting to persuade.

The benefits of hypnosis are many and varied, of course. Hypnosis is widely recognized as an effective means of achieving relaxation and perspective in the face of stress and anxiety. Hypnosis can also help a person divert attention away from distracting or troubling things. These benefits alone may be sufficient to justify the use of hypnotic language.

Before proceeding, ask yourself what you know about the psychological and emotional state of the person you are looking to hypnotize. Is this person currently distressed, or at risk of becoming distressed? Will being hypnotized be a threatening experience for this person? Are they desirous of increased relaxation or mental and emotional distance from their concerns and problems? Furthermore, will they benefit from thinking or doing what you’d like to persuade them to either think or do? If all signs point to positive effects of hypnosis, you may proceed to the next step.

Step 3: Forge The Connection

Using soothing words, passively voiced sentences, and soft vowels and consonants, speak in a manner that will help to calm and relax your conversation partner. Speak in a low and nonthreatening tone. Repeat some of the phrases or words that your conversation partner says, to communicate with him or her that you are both on the same page.

You may wish to supplement this with body language or behavioral mirroring. Take on a posture or sitting position that emulates your conversation partner’s. Reflect his or her facial expressions or tone of voice, but do so in a way that isn’t overly exaggerated or obvious.

Avoid speaking rapidly, or about any unpleasant topics. Ask your conversation partner about enjoyable experiences or topics thatinterest them, but do so in a low energy, slow fashion that will discourage them from getting excited.

Step 4: Initiative Seductive Active Listening

When you speak to your conversation partner, you do not want to dominate the conversation too heavily. This may elicit boredom or leave your conversation partner feeling ignored or alienated, which is a surefire way to put them on the psychological defensive. At the same time, you do not want your conversation partner to be speaking too frequently, too rapidly, or with too much emotion. Excited, lively conversation will pull your conversation partner away from a relaxed state. It will also give them a sense of agency and control, which is not amenable to hypnotic influence.

Instead, listen and guide the conversation. Make soft, but noticeable verbal and physical signs that indicate your attention and interest. Say “hmmm” or “ahh” when your conversation partner speaks about something calming or pleasant. Give your conversation partner the sense that you are drinking in their words. Ask slow, contemplative questions about what they mean or what they feel. As you do so, make heavy, relaxed eye contact. Let your conversation partner stare into your eyes and feel soothed by how receptive you are to their words.

Step 5: Direct the Conversation

As you speak with the person you would like to hypnotize, maintain subtle control of the conversation. If the participant drifts away from the subject desired, pull them back in with a thought-provoking question or interesting fact or note. Do so gently, with a voice that is not forceful or intimidating. Merely reel your conversation partner back into the topic you’d like to persuade them on. If your conversation partner becomes agitated, or becomes focused on a persistent worry or something negative, steer the conversation to something completely different, pleasant, and calming. Never let the conversation veer into negative territory, and do not allow the participant to speak at length about their disagreement with you, or why they cannot do what you’d like from them.

Step 6: Assume a Positive Outcome

People frequently behave in the manner expected of them. If you give your conversation partner lots of small indications that you expect them to do what you desire, they may slip into meeting your expectations without much conflict. Do not ask your conversation partner directly to engage in the desired behavior, or inquire about the specific belief that you are trying to change. Instead, frame the discussion as if they have already agreed with you, and now you are just hammering out specifics.

If your conversation partner responds with discomfort or confusion, lead the conversation away from the issue where you disagree. Ask them about something pleasant that has happened to them, or tell them an anecdote about a subject that you know is soothing to them. Return them to a state of apparent calm, where their breathing is slowed and the conversation is easy. You may choose to disengage from the conversation temporarily if persuasion is proving difficult.

Step 7: Engineer Agreement

Using positive language, pleasant behavior, and encouraging nonverbal actions, slowly shape your conversation partner’s behavior and speech in your desired direction. When they disagree with you or seem anxious, redirect conversational attention, or withdraw from the conversation completely. Conversely, when they are in an agreeable, helpful, or passive state, reward and encourage your conversation partner by speaking slowly and calmly about soothing topics, using soft sounding words and a passive voice.

Over time, you will find that you can subtly manipulate your conversation partner into entering a hypnotic state with increasingease. After habitually directing and shaping your conversations in this way, you will effectively “train” both yourself and your conversation partner, so that every conversation you engage in together leads down a path of mutual understanding, psychological openness, and emotional calmness.


Tips and Tricks

The core techniques and key terms listed above are, strictly speaking, all you should need to induce hypnotic states of focus and calmness in a receptive conversation partner. However, learning the ropes of these techniques may prove tricky at first. It can be unclear where you should begin, or what effective persuasion and hypnotic language “looks like”. Here are some quick tips and tricks for increased success.

Begin with a familiar conversation partner who is relatively easy to persuade on some matters. Getting early positive results is encouraging!
Persuasion and hypnotic inducement is much easier in a familiar setting that you have control over. So test out your techniques by inviting a friend or family member over to your house for dinner, or bring a co-worker into your office or workspace!

Practice meditation or mindfulness exercises so that you can regulate your own emotions and anxiety. Self-hypnosis may help you to attain an external state of calmness, which will help soothe the people around you.

Practice self-hypnosis on a regular basis, so that you can recall what being hyper-focused, alert, and calm feels like.
Approach each persuasion attempt with a sense of gratitude and peace. If you are frustrated with your conversation partner at the outset, or if you are desperate to “win” the interaction, you will not be able to make them feel safe or ease.

Ask your conversation partner about their day, their interests, their family, and their work. Locate the topics that make their eyes “light up” with enthusiasm. This will not only help you better develop the soothing topics to use when speaking with this person, it will immediately make them enjoy speaking to you more as well.

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How To Use Rapport Hooks To Keep Your Subject Engaged

Have you ever been in a situation where you thought you had created a good relationship with someone but when it came time to persuade them, you were on two different pages?

Chances are something happened during the rapport building stage. And what's worse, chances are you don't even realize what it was.

Many times it has to do with the amount of information you're giving to your subject.

The classical method of establishing rapport is talking to the other person and actively listening so that he begins to share more of what he’s thinking and feeling at the moment.

The ultimate goal of rapport is to create this instant bond between the speaker and the subject. We are going to enhance that process right now with a potent technique called rapport hooks through the hypnotic vortex.

Rapport hooks are actually subconscious cues placed strategically throughout a conversation to generate interest in what you are saying so that the subject will feel that he needs to know more about what you’re saying.

Too often people make the fatal mistake of laying down everything they have to offer at once.

When you do this your subject will feel that you are somewhat desperate to please him/her and this will reduce the authoritative image that you want to project. Remember – desperation and anxiety have no place in hypnosis, influence or persuasion.

So as someone who wants to master conversational hypnosis, you have to exert a lot of continuous effort to ensure that these negative elements will never take the fore when you are trying to express yourself effectively in front of other people.

How can you use rapport hooks to engage other people in an instant? Here’s an example to show you just how easy it is to use rapport hooks in any situation:

“I arrived in the building because I was supposed to meet with my broker. I was welcomed by a bunch of guys in dark suits and they asked me if they could talk to me for a few minutes. I didn’t want to disappoint them so I said “alright, let’s talk”. To cut the story short I was still able to leave the building in one piece but I missed my meeting with my broker”

Did you notice anything about how I relayed information in the example? There was indeed a story there and I did give out some important stuff related to my story.

But in the end, the story was incomplete. It was missing a lot of important details and that is really what hooks in the subject. By removing some important details from what you are saying, you will be able to create a natural interest in your story. People will become hungry for more.

Rapport hooks are extremely convenient tools because you don’t have to be a brilliant speaker in order to use them. So even if you have a very simple story to tell you can create and sustain rapport throughout a social engagement by using hooks throughout the conversation.

When you feel that you are slowly losing your subject or audience you just have to tweak your inputs so that your subject’s mind will automatically be alerted that there’s something missing from what you are saying.

Of course, you will still provide the necessary details. But you are going to make your subject work for it. You are going to wait until the full effect of the hooks begins to manifest. The number one sign that we are looking for is questions. When your subject begins to ask questions out of the blue, you can be assured that rapport is being created as you continue to engage the subject.

Rapport hooks can also be used for the effective fractionation of rapport. Remember our short lesson on fractionating rapport? You can regulate rapport by allowing the subject to set the pace of the conversation. You give a little information, gain the interest of the subject and wait a bit for the questions.

When a subject is able to comfortably formulate questions, that means the speaker is not pressuring the subject at all. You are not breathing down the other person’s neck and that in itself is a great thing because a comfortable and trusting subject is 90% there already. He’s ‘in the zone’ and he is more likely to say yes to your offer.

Here’s another example of how simple rapport hooks/cues can be used to create an instant buzz about what you want to share to your audience:

“I recently visited a small town in Africa where diabetes, heart diseases and cancers are virtually unheard of.

They grow a strange plant there and they eat it every single day. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we can grow that simple plant here so we can reap its health benefits, too?”

If you look at the second example, you can see the arc of the story very clearly. There’s context and there are some supporting details. But I have strategically left out the most important detail of all – the name of the plant and what people in the town were using it for. Curiosity is automatically increased because people don’t like it when they hear an incomplete story.

How To Shift Someone's Thoughts Using The Redefine Pattern

Have you ever been in a situation where you wish you could reach into someone's brain, push a button and get them to think differently about something?

Maybe a person who's arguing a point that makes no sense? Maybe a prospect who's giving the same objection over and over? Maybe someone you admire that you want to feel the same way about you?

Listen, there's no such thing as a magic button that can do this for you. But the redefine pattern comes very close.

This hypnotic language pattern basically enables you to shift a person's frame of thought from one place to where you want them to be.

It looks like this:

The issue at hand is not (A), it is really (B) and that means (C).

Pay close attention to the arrangement of the words and the three major elements of this language pattern (A, B & C). The first element smoothly connects with the existing issue; this creates a seamless connection between the redefine statement and the last statement of the other person.

However, as you reach the first element (is not A), the current issue is negated and a new issue is quickly introduced (it is really B). The new issue is further imposed on the conversation through the third element (and that means C).

Be aware though that you have to be gentle when shifting topics especially if you are faced with critical individuals like academics or hard-nosed business folks. If the shift in a conversation becomes extreme, there is a big chance that the other person will not respond readily to your input.

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How To Create Chains Of Agreement

How To Create Chains Of Agreement

To master influencers, nothing could be sweeter than the sound of a clear “yes” from a subject. People nowadays are more guarded about saying “yes” because people are more critical of what they see and hear on a daily basis.

So if you have that one opportunity to make people say “yes” in a shorter period of time, would you take that opportunity? Unless you like getting a “no” every time you ask someone for something, who wouldn’t want to elicit a positive response from people faster?

Now, if you’re ready to try this technique, the first thing you have to prepare is a series of questions (three is usually sufficient) that would easily elicit a “yes” from the subject. The idea here is we want the subject to become unconsciously comfortable with agreeing with you so he will have no trouble saying yes when you’re ready to request something from the subject.

Veteran sales people usually use a series of questions with very obvious answers (i.e. “are you comfortable with your chair?”). While it is okay to try this technique you are not stuck with this old pattern. You can use regular statements if you want. Here’s a quick example:

“You feel comfortable wherever you are right now, reading these words on the page and as you read some more you are feeling more relaxed, very relaxed and you feel heavy and sleepy”

Notice that the previous statement has three verifiable components and a final element that easily draws people to the conclusion that they are indeed feeling tired and sleepy for no reason.

That’s because the mind works so quickly in processing information that it takes shortcuts. If it already agreed with three items, it will choose to agree with the fourth item because a level of trust has already been established.

If you want your pattern to be really effective, use sensory-based statements to speed up the agreement process. When you use this particular pattern you are actually inducing a trance in the subject. And as we have already discussed earlier, a trance is really just a heightened state of awareness and focus.

Now you might wondering: why use three verifiable components? Why not two or four components? Well, it is common knowledge (at least to hypnotists and NLP practitioners) that generally, people commit to something after agreeing three times. And for influencers, it is easier to keep track of three components than four or five components.

If you want a bare bones formula for this, here it is:

1st verifiable condition + 2nd verifiable condition + 3rd plausible condition + call to action

The first three elements are just there to condition the other person. Of course, it would help if the first three elements are at least tangentially related to the fourth element so you won’t elicit a raise eyebrow from your subject. Just imagine hearing something like this from someone:

“You are sitting there comfortably, listening to me, hearing out my sales proposal and would you like to buy the service right now?”

This series might work for someone who has already been convinced but if you are saying it to an authority (like your boss) or a complete stranger who has only met you in the last hour you might not get a desirable result.

Here are some examples to help you create your own statements using this pattern:

1.“You have been working in this company for several months now and we have seen great progress in the way you handle your job as a networking expert and now the board believes that you are ready to take on even more challenging yet extremely rewarding responsibilities”

2.“Having gotten this book and having read this far into the material I would say that you are now part of an elite group of influencers”

3.“Sitting here with you, having a great dinner makes me feel like there’s a real connection between you and me. Would you like to join me for a DVD movie marathon later at my place, around nine sharp?”

4.“You have been able to read all of the guidelines of the competition and right now, holding your contest entries I think you will be doing just fine with adding two items in your contest portfolio”

5.“I have been working in this organization for almost two years now and during that entire period I have helped raise no less than two million dollars’ worth of revenue from sales alone, so you know for that alone I really need some recognition and additional compensation for my work”

6.“Having read all of the important details from my CV and having examined my existing credentials when do you think the company would call me to inform me that I have been selected for the said position?”

Important Notes:

The last example makes use of future pacing. Future pacing is a special type of pacing that leaves a future command to the subject. Most persuasive statements focus on getting a favorable response right now. If you don’t need that you can use future pacing instead if you want to give the subject time to think about what you have just said.

If you want to create an even more powerful message with statements crafted to pace and lead, you can try adding a conditional close. A conditional close is a simple question that gives you a direct link to what needs to be done to achieve your goal. The formula for a conditional close is:

What do I need to do/provide so you can ________________?

Fill the blank space with the goal of the interaction. For example, if you want the other person to buy something from you, simply ask “What do I need to do right now so we can close this deal and make your business even more efficient than it was before?”

A conditional close works exceptionally well when you feel that the other person is not taking action because he has hidden objections. Even if you don’t get the sale on the first try, you will be able to uncover hidden objections and you will be able to obliterate those objections as the interaction continues.

[Video] Hypnotic Storytelling Part One

[Video] Hypnotic Storytelling Part One



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How to Increase Compliance with Agreement Sets

How to Increase Compliance with Agreement Sets

When it comes to agreement sets, you're basically actively pacing and leading the other person to comply with what you want him to do.

Instead of just opening the possibility of compliance, you will actually be holding the other person’s hand during a hypnotic induction and ask him to do something for you at the end. It’s a little advanced than most hypnotic language patterns but I can assure you, it can work in many situations. How does an agreement set work? Here’s how it works: the human mind was designed in a way that when it picks up verifiable facts, it tends to question succeeding statements and ideas less and less until trust is finally established and compliance becomes imminent.

“As you are reading the manuscript, enjoying the different lessons on hypnotic pacing and leading, you will enjoy practicing these great hypnotic patterns even more”

Do you see how an agreement set comes together in a statement? The first two parts of the statement can be verified easily by the subject. The third and final element in the statement can’t be verified but by the time the subject reaches the third part of the stamen he has already been conditioned mentally to agree with whatever you want to say.

It’s a sneaky strategy and it works beautifully each and every time. And the best thing about this strategy is that it allows you to gain compliance without deceiving anyone at all. Notice that this pattern focuses only on what is true and what can be verified easily by the senses.

The Thought-Disruption Pattern

The Thought-Disruption Pattern is another brutally simple HLP that can be used to give embedded commands. The Thought- Disruption Pattern can be used when you think you have lost footing in a conversation and you really need to bring back the subject or the group to your desired issue.

Here’s the formula:

Step 1: Provide a diversion statement (i.e. “Crazy game last night!”)

Step 2: Wait for the subject to respond; if there is no response, try another diversion statement until it finally works.

Step 3: Begin asking questions that would lead the other person to agree with you (i.e. “Would you like to make more money than you have ever dreamed possible?”)

Step 4: Introduce the desired topic when the subject has complied with you.

Covert Tip:

All hypnotic language patterns can be used to effectively change people’s perception of ideas and events. For example, if you have to delegate a task to someone you know is already busy with other tasks; you can use the redefining pattern to show the other person a different view of the situation.

Just how can this be achieved? Here’s a good example: let’s say you had to manage a group of people on a daily basis. Delegating different tasks can be difficult especially during that time of the year when people really have to work double time just to meet deadlines.

What would you do when people start showing resistance to the idea of receiving more tasks from their manager? Normally, managers would just use their position to get what they want. It’s the normal process; employees or team members don’t usually complain because they are afraid of losing their job.

You may be able to delegate tasks this way but in the final analysis, people around you may be losing faith in your ability to become a good manager. That can become extremely problematic in the long term. We want harmony in any business setting right?

You can achieve this harmony by shifting another person’s perception through a HLP, like the agreement pattern. So if the subject is saying that he can’t accept the new task, you can tell him something like “I agree that you are indeed overburdened with several tasks at the moment and that means that we have to work really hard to identify which tasks are urgent and which ones can be put last on the list”.

The way I used the redefining pattern in the last statement helped me accomplish several things:

1. I was able to express agreement, which defused the situation immediately.

2. I was able to acknowledge the condition of the subject, which is another defusing technique. People tend to become more defensive and resistant if a person feels that the speaker has no idea what he is going through at the moment.Hypnotic Language Patterns Volume 1

3. I was able to embed a command in the statement, which also doubled as a solution to the implied problem of the subject (being overburdened with work).


A Sneaky Little Way To Deal With Naysayers

A Sneaky Little Way To Deal With Naysayers

The worst thing that could happen to you when you are trying to persuade someone is for that person to say “no” to everything that you say. And let’s face it – there are many individuals who are experts in saying no to people.

Don’t worry – there is actually a language pattern that can help you win in this kind of situation. This hypnotic language pattern focuses on reducing the resistance of the subject to your ideas by forcing agreement at every turn.

How does this work? Well, think about it: people generally don’t like it when people disagree with them. With the agreement pattern, you will agree with a point while at the same time adding your point at the end.

The hypnotic language pattern itself is quite simple:

“I agree with (A) and would add (B)”

This pattern only has three essential elements but it is an extremely powerful pattern that can be used in a variety of situations (like the redefining pattern).

Here’s a quick example:

“I agree that this new product is pricier than its counterparts and would like to add that it has extremely useful features that is not offered by any of the existing competitors”

You can also combine the redefining pattern and the agreement pattern to create an ultra-persuasive pattern that will knock your subject’s socks off:

“I agree that this new product is pricier than its counterparts and would like to add that the issue here is not the price of the product but how much time it will save you in just a few months’ time and how much more profit you are going to rake in by using this product which I may add is being offered at 30% discount to you by our good company”

You might be wondering: does this mean that I have to say yes to everything that the other person says?

Well, you do have to agree with the other person but you don’t have to agree with anything he has said that you don’t like. Or you can just agree with something else just so you can include the agreement pattern in your dialog.

If you don’t agree with anything that the person has just said, you can always just agree that he just said something to you.

This may sound a little odd but it can work. Here’s an example: “I agree that you have just lambasted my business and would add that only someone with the least amount of professional experience would say that”.

A lot of people would react to the fact that I just called someone an amateur with a statement. What good would the agreement pattern do if I just questioned someone’s professional experience?

Well, it’s better to agree with people than to disagree with them. People are universally hardwired to get along with others who agree with them (even if the agreement doesn’t benefit them at all).

Agreement frames are excellent during arguments and heated debates because it actually defuses other people’s defenses automatically. If someone agrees with you, your brain will automatically lower its defenses.

But if someone disagrees with you, all your logical and creative defenses are up and you are ready to fight tooth and nail to defend your position (even if it is wrong).

That’s just how the human brain works. It’s not manipulation or being a controlling person at all. We’re just taking advantage of the fact that people love hearing agreement.

Under normal circumstances, people don’t usually need to point out that someone lacks professional experience (or competence, at that).
Most of the time, you just have to show the other person that there is another way of viewing or analyzing a particular issue:

“I agree that you just disagreed with my point earlier about real fur coats and I would add that there are many ways of analyzing the fur trade issue and your take is just one of many”

You have to be careful when using “but” and “and” in your agreement pattern sentences.

Normally what people do is they agree with someone and follow up their agreement with a “but”. The word “but” is universally understood in the English-speaking world as a sign of disagreement.

Remember the rules of positives and negatives? When you combine a negative element and positive element the result will always be negative.

Therefore, if you say something nice in the beginning but you follow that up with the word “but” the recipient of the message will automatically know that you are about to disagree with him.

It doesn’t matter how nice you were when you said the affirmative/supportive part of the statement. You are still clearly disagreeing with the other person because you used “but”.

Now compare the impact of a statement that uses the word “and” instead of “but”:

Statement # 1

“I agree that the new project is over-budget but I would like to add that everyone was doing everything they can to stay on budget”

Statement # 2

“I agree that the new project is over-budget and would like to add that everyone was doing everything they can to stay on budget”

Notice that the second statement was affirmative throughout. The first statement sounded like it was making an excuse for being over-budget. No one likes excuses.

An excuse often feels like a slap to the face which is why it is universally disliked.

Would you want to sound like you were trying to make an excuse while you were trying to persuade someone? Most probably not – so as much as possible avoid using but when using the agreement pattern.