How To Network With Influential People

This is important. When it comes to influencing and persuading others, there are levels of key players. The higher the key player, the more at stake for you.

Somewhere in the world there is a key player that could help take your life to the next level.

In this video, I'm going to share a few simple steps to networking with key players or influential people.

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How To Sell More With One Little Change

How To Sell More With One Little Change

The Law of Contrast tells us that the perception of something changes the moment it's compared to something else.

The human mind loves comparison.

It's one of the primary ways that me make sense of information.

And the formula is pretty simple.

A piece of information is introduced to the mind.

The mind compares that information to other information that it has received in the past and then makes it's analysis.

For example let's say you're thinking of buying a new pair of sneakers that cost $79.

You really like them and you know they'll look great with some outfits that you already have.

The question is: "Are they worth $79?"

Actually the better question is "What does that figure of $79 mean to you?"

Because let's face it. The price of everything is subjective.

Especially when it comes to sneakers. Most sneakers sold by Nike  cost over 80 bucks and probably were made for less than 10.

So back to the 79 dollar figure.

With nothing to compare it to, you'll form an opinion about that number.

Now imagine that you walked into the same store and saw a price tag that said $129 on sale for $79.

Now that same figure of $79 looks much cheaper even though it's the same as it was before.

This is often why on infomercials we see an offer, a price and then another offer.

"But wait, if you call now, we'll double the offer. That means you'll get 2 widgets for the price of one."

In marketing we call this bonus stacking.

You make an offer. Say one widget for $19.99.

You give the prospect a few minutes to absorb that offer and then you "sweeten the deal" by offering another widget for the same price.

This makes the offer look more appealing to the customer as opposed to just offering the 2 widgets from the get go.

Maybe this intrigues you.

Or maybe you're thinking "Yeah no shit Paul. I know this already. I've seen it a hundred times."

Fair enough.

What's basically happened is through repeated exposure you're now conscious of the comparison taking place in your mind.

But what about when it happens subconsciously and you have absolutely no clue?

Make no mistake. It is happening. All the time.

Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely is a great read for anyone interested in knowing how the human mind works and what makes people tick.

In his book Dan sites an interesting ad he found on the web.

Basically there are 3 offers.

Offer #1 - Internet only subscription for $59

Offer #2 - Print only subscription for $125

Offer #3 - Print and Internet subscription for $125

Who in their right mind would take offer #2 which is print only when you can get print and Internet for the same price (if you want print that is).

Was this a typo? Maybe an oversight?


What we have here are a group of smart marketers who understand how the human mind relies on comparison and using it to their advantage.

Let me explain.

The majority of people do not know what they want until they see it in context.

We don't know what kind of makeup or underwear we want until we see Drew Barimore or David Beckham showing us what they use.

We don't know which pair of jeans we like best until we try on a pair Diesel and compare them to the Lee's that we used to wear.

Most people don't even know what career path they want to take until they see what a friend or relative is doing and how successful they are.

Everything in life relative.

In the case of the subscription offer the marketers know that thinking about which option (print or Internet only) can be a pain the ass for most people.

Especially since we are cognitive misers looking to reserve most of our thought energy for the stuff that's really important.

So what do they do? They make it a no-brainer.

They structure the offer with the intention to sell #3 from the beginning by making offers 1 and 2 look less desirable.

This is why I like Dan Ariely.

This guy is a fan of science not theory.

So he took the same options and offered them to 100 students at MIT's Sloan School of Management.

His results were as follows:

1. Internet-only subscription for $ 59 — 16 students took this offer.
2. Print-only subscription for $ 125 — zero students took this offer.
3. Print-and-Internet subscription for $ 125 — 84 students too this offer.

These results indicate that the strategy of placing a "decoy" (as Dan calls it) which is option number 2 does in fact move people toward option number 3.

But he wanted to be sure so he ran the study again.

This time he removed the "decoy" and only offered option #1 (Internet only for $59) and option #3 (print and Internet for $125).

The result?

This time 68 students chose option #1 (Internet only for $59) and only 32 chose the combo option for $125, down 84 from before.

In business this translates to about $2,500 in loss.

And from what? The removal of the decoy.

Here's the deal.

You may not agree with these  findings.

You may think you're immune to this type of irrationality.

That's your call.

But for God's sake DON'T be foolish enough to think the rest of the world (including your potential customers) are as well.

Instead embrace this reality and utilize it by somehow always having something to compare your offer to which makes it look more appealing.

Remember no matter how you hard you try you can't help but see this circle differently when you look at it in each picture even though it's the same size in both pictures.

That's how the human mind uses comparison 😉


The Windows To The Mind

The Windows To The Mind

People need the basics like food, clothes and shelter – that’s the reality of our human status. We must have these things in order to survive, and there are also lots of inborn needs that influence our
behavior as we grow to become adults.

We are genetically encoded to survive and care for ourselves and to command a powerful compulsion to care for our groups. We are even more coded to help the groups we belong to first than to help ourselves – sounds communist, but it’s the truth.

If a child is in a river full of gators and people are around the river, chances are that a brave man will jump in to save the child. That’s not only altruistic and honorable, but it’s also part of our genetic programming.

The urge to care for others in our group is extremely powerful and shouldn’t be underestimated.

Virtually everyone is pre- programmed to act according to the best interests of themselves, their family, their group, their society and even God.

Now for one of the biggest mistake all persuaders make one time or the other: They just persuade the customer’s best interests and they completely forget how to appeal to how the service or good will help the client’s group or family, or even God for that matter. Did you know that there is a portion of the human brain that just gets activated when speaking to the divine?

Competition Is a Tool for Survival

Evolutionary Psychology proved that competition between individuals is what selects the “strongest” or the winners and picks out the losers of society.
You always must point out, while selling a product, that the product will give him an advantage in society, it will get him an advantage against his competitors, so it will make it easier for him to survive competitively – make this point subtly and your selling probabilities will increase.

Pursue a Group

Researches show that the larger the group, the more comply-able their members are to their leader. Stealth Hypnosis can give you a very powerful advantage in groups, because most of the people fear speaking or presenting before groups and big audiences. That’s a fact.

Us humans are easily herded animals and even the Ninja Salesman, the Stealth Hypnosis Master, can’t expect having 100% assenting opinions in large group settings. There are, in each group, individuals who rise above that same group so you have to respect them, acknowledge their interaction, and continue on with your presentation. Remember that in group settings, the majority’s opinion is the rule! Remember to pull the right Mind Access Strings.

Affiliation and How We Quest for It

We all want to be wanted, to feel needed. Research in the medical field proves that when someone feels unwanted, growth and development come to a halt. All forms of growth, like emotional, social and even physical growth are greatly influenced by how much or how little we feel wanted.

This need is pr-programmed, so you know that person who says they don’t need to be wanted? That person is lying!

You have to always show your interest toward your client. He must feel that you are interested in him, not just as a client, but as a person – this is a great tip to develop a long-term relationship with a client and those situations are always win-win.

Selling Through Fear and Negativism

You can build rapport and get your client’s compliance, just by creating or targeting an enemy. You can “frighten” him with the success of his competitors if he doesn’t make the change, you can get him frustrated about his status quo and you can gain his compliance by joining his team against that “common enemy.”

Use and abuse of some negative emotions like disgust, anger, hatred and so on as an effective marketing method – this isn’t a new tactic, it’s pretty old and pretty used too!
Think about those commercials that paint insects as a repulsive thing to have in the house and how they can creep on everything.

Well, we certainly don’t have infestations every day, but the commercial serves its point – it places the image in your head, triggering those fear or disgust emotions, thus joining your team against the greater evil! It’s like buying life insurance, lots of people have it, but most never use it – they have it and they buy it to relieve anxiety, to avoid worrying and to get those negative emotions to a minimum. There are all kinds of things we purchase just with “avoiding negative emotions” in mind.

Follow the Leader!

Virtually every animal species in the world, including humans, are compelled to follow the leader of the group, so you want to tell your clients you’re the leader of your field – not upfront of course, but in a stealthy way.
Show your listeners you can be a better employee, a better parent, or show how your products can make your clients look more like the leader! Mimic the leader’s behavior and show how people will become leaders themselves by getting your services.

Summer Time, Winter Time

When we notice times are good, we are genetically coded to risk more and experience adventure, but when times are rough, as of now, we are compelled to be conservative and risk less.

When we are selling, we have to know if the person on the other side is experiencing a good or a bad moment. If the client is having a great time of prosperity, appeal to his wish to experiment and adventure – to explore! If you see he is not very good, show him that your products will help with his conservative needs.

Be emotionally appealing and determine how the sale is going to happen – or if it won’t happen at all! Fit that service or product into their emotional filters and they will find some logical reasons why they should buy from you.

The Four Levels Of Human Perception

The Four Levels Of Human Perception

True mind control wouldn't be possible if you are not aware of how the human mind actually processes information and generates specific viewpoints.

This is the reason why we have to briefly explore the four levels of human perception so you will understand just how people process ideas and suggestions from other people.

The first level of human perception is limited to people's immediate reactions to stimuli that they are able to receive through the five senses.

For example, if a person touches a hot pot he will immediately pull away and nurse his hand. The second level of human perception concerns the assignation of meanings to different stimuli.

At this level of human perception people begin associating ideas with events. As the influencer, you can create multiple associations and the subject may believe you if you present the associations convincingly enough unless the subject already has prior knowledge about the idea or event.

At the third level of human perception is the crystallization of personal beliefs. People encounter a lot of stimuli on a daily basis and the mind has to assign permanent meanings to these stimuli so a person would be able to react accordingly when he encounters the stimuli once again in the future.

The third level is dependent on the first level and second level of perception. So as an influencer you will play a vital role in modifying people's perception of things.

And finally, we have the fourth level of perception. In this level, people begin associating specific emotions to stimuli emanating from the environment. By stimuli, I refer to any sensory input (sound, smell, tactile sensations, etc.)

You might be wondering at this point in time how this information could actually help you persuade someone. Well, if you want to be a truly persuasive and influential individual you need to take into account all four levels of perception when interacting with a subject.

Many would-be influencers only focus on the second level of perception (which is why many people become frustrated when they do not get the results that they want).

To avoid this problem, I'm going to walk you through the different levels of human perception so you can utilize each level properly when you are interacting with another person.

Level 1

Create the perfect environment for the subject before laying down your cards on the table.

Make the subject as comfortable as possible before and during the interaction

Establish your credibility at this level by using strategic verbal language and the appropriate nonverbal/body language

It is at this level that an influencer can use pacing and leading techniques. Once trust has been established the subject will allow himself to be led b the and throughout the interaction unless of course he finds a reason to disagree with you and walk away instead.

Level 2

Since rapport has already been established at the first level, you can now employ hypnotic language patterns at the second level.

New ideas and calls to action will be introduced at this level; this is the reason why hypnotic language patterns can be extremely helpful at this point in time. The subject will start forming his opinion about all of the input you are giving and you need to make sure that his reactions will be beneficial to your goals.

If you want to teach the subject new modes of behavior and thinking, you can do that in this level because the subject will be open to suggestions because you have already established rapport in the first level.

Level 3

The influencer's control wanes at the third level of human perception. At the third level the subject begins making conclusion of his own. He will be analyzing his primary reaction to the stimuli (e.g. your words) and all of the input and triggers you have used in the second level.

As influencers we can't really tell people how they should feel towards particular stimuli. The best that we can do is to suggest what they should think but people can still disagree with you and reject your ideas altogether.

This is the main reason why I disagree with people who say that NLP and hypnosis are manipulative disciplines. No one has ever committed suicide because of hypnosis.

No one has ever been pushed to hurt another person through neuro linguistic programming. In my personal opinion, people tend to use manipulative language more than practicing hypnotists and NLP trainers/practitioners.

One of the most important things that you have to keep in mind when interacting with people is that on the third level of perception, people try to determine whether what your offering will offer benefits/enjoyment or punishment.

People would usually back away from something that has been perceived as more of a punishment (e.g. working out several times a week while eating healthy food like steamed vegetables).

Level 4

The fourth level of perception is definitely the most important of all the levels. It is in this level of perception that the influencer must begin infusing his ideas and calls to action with emotional triggers that will have a lasting effect on the subject.

If all goes well, the subject will adopt a new viewpoint and belief about an object or issue. If the influencer fails, there is a big chance that the subject will just say no and walk away.

Why We Use Social Categorization

Why We Use Social Categorization

Stereotypes emerge because these are the most readily available pieces of information and to conserve cognitive resources, we use these stereotypes or prototypes to process information with heuristics. But the real question here is: why do we engage in social categorization at all? Why don't people use other ways to make sense of the world?

The answer is actually convenience. Social categorization is a process that is intimately associated with heuristics. We use social categories because we don't want to expend all our cognitive resources in analyzing one or two situations.

From the perspective of self-conservation, this makes a lot of sense, too. Who would want to spend hours thinking of something when a thin slice of the situation can be used to create a valid inference? No one – because everyone is preoccupied with more important issues and activities and there has to be prioritization.Conservation of cognitive resources is just one good reason to stick to social categories. The second reason is that when a person has a mastery of many social categories, he is able to organize and process information more succinctly and more efficiently than folks who do not make use of social categories more frequently.

Social categories allow us to assign internal traits to specific classes of objects, events, people, behavior, etc.

Though the use of stereotypes can sometimes be misleading, it still remains that we are rational individuals who can refine our own perspective of the world. We can always choose to ignore stereotypes if we want to; however, this does not mean that everyone else is interested in discarding stereotypes.

Social categories are so convenient to use that we actually engage in categorization even if we consciously don't want to use categories. For example, if we meet a foreign student from a faraway country, we try to suspend our social categories because we know full well that these may not apply to the foreign student.However, because we have to acknowledge the social categories first before we can suspend them from conscious thought, we cannot avoid using these categories even for a few seconds.

Social scientists have been able to identify three unique triggers that actually encourage a person to use social categories unconsciously:

The ease at which inferences can be created with the help of social categorization also means that people have a tendency to refer to social categories whenever appropriate situations present themselves (i.e. when a new person is introduced).

Since we refer to social categories often, we also have a tendency to utilize stereotypical information even when we are simply evaluating an event or a person. There is a tendency for a person to develop selective memory, too.

For example, if we met someone new and someone told you that this person was a truck driver; specific traits of this person would be more accessible than others. For example, if the person was talking on his cellphone and smoking at the same time, the most striking trait (and therefore, the most information ally accessible one) would be the smoking trait since there is a stereotypical association between smoking and truck drivers (the same way that thick rimmed glasses are associated with academically inspired individual).

As you can see, social categorization actually affects a person‟s ability to focus on certain things. If we learned that a person belong to Social Category A, we would no longer pay attention to traits that belong to Social Categories B, C & D.So in essence, when a person makes use of social categories, he is actually making use of different "lenses" that modify his perspective of things. Social categories also have a profound effect on people's impression and assimilation of information as well as their behavior.

Simply put: if a social category is used on a person long enough and if there is no resistance from the other person, then the social category would be eventually used as a basis for a new self-schema.

So if a student was always tagged as a “slow learner” and there were always zero expectations about the student, then eventually, the student would find no reason to improve himself and he will adapt the traits of the social category that was being used to classify him.

Inversely, a person who has always been regarded as a successful worker would find ways to live up to people's expectations as this would also have a positive impact on his self-concept.

There is also neurological proof that social categories/social impressions and actual actions have a big connection – according to research, one region of the premotor cortex is activated when a person is regarding something (i.e. evaluating something) and when he is finally doing whathe was simply observing before. Behavioral assimilation, which can result from a person‟s exposure to social categories and prototypes, can have an adverse effect on a person‟s academic performance, too.

Negative stereotyping can lead to underperformance as evidence by many studies that proved that when a person conforms to social categories that relate to sex, race, etc., they would unconsciously underperform to conform to the stereotype.

For example, it has been discovered in one study that women tend to underperform in Mathematics exams because the general stereotype is that women are better at language than men, but men are better at mathematics than women.

How We Rationalize The Behavior Of Others

How We Rationalize The Behavior Of Others

Imagine going to work one day feeling extremely happy because you got some good news. Naturally, you want to spread the good cheer to your office mates, so you make eye contact with an office mate that you rarely talk to and smile to him.

You wave your hand a little to say "hi"to the person. In return, your office mate literally slams down his hands and storms out of the office, leaving papers and pens scattered in his cubicle. Your office mate is visibly upset by something.

Was it you who did that? What could have triggered such behavior from your office mate? As you think of the reasons why a person would behave in such a manner, you are actually attributing potential causes of the other person's reaction and behavior.

Attribution is the foundation of social cognition or how folks like you and me think about other folks. At the outset, attribution itself is more about rationalization than epistemology. Attribution is more concerned with linking together what you already know than generating new knowledge about a particular even.

Humans, being critical and rational beings, engage in attribution due to two basic reasons:

  1. People need to come up with a perspective of their society and its members that would make complete sense to them.
  2. Attribution demystifies events and interactions with other people which in turn reduce the strangeness of the world at large. Rationalization, coupled with better understanding, can give a person more control over his own life and the actual reality that he is in.

People feel the need to attribute in everyday life because the process of attribution produces not only potential reasons why an event happened the way it did but because this process also actively gives meaning to the world that we live in. Meaning itself can only be possible if a person thinks about something.

Meaning does not exist in a vacuum, to be picked up by people as they please. You have to think in order to make sense of something that is in front of you. People create meaning; meaning does not "find" a person. If a person says that the meaning of life revealed itself to him in a dream it is more likely that he has been obsessing about this topic for quite some time and his brain finally gave him an answer.

Kinds of Attribution

There are two general categories of human attribution: internal attribution and external attribution. When people try to make sense of an event, they can either attribute the event to internal traits and characteristics or they can attribute it to external forces and circumstances. Here‟s an example: imagine that you were walking in a quiet street when all of a sudden, a car screeches out of control and „parks‟ itself on the sidewalk. All its lights are flashing but it didn't hit the small store that was standing a few inches from its bumpers. You observe how the driver nonchalantly backs up his car and drives away after the frightening display. You try to figure out what just happened and you come up with these causes:

Internal attributions:

“Maybe the driver is just plain crazy!”
“The driver has to be drunk to do that kind of stunt.” “The guy has to be in a really bad mood.”
“Maybe he the guy is just learning how to drive.” “That guy doesn't know how to park properly!”

External attributions:

“Maybe he got spooked by a big truck somewhere.”
“The guy's brakes got jammed, probably.”
“The car is old, maybe that‟s why he can't control it well.” “Maybe this just wasn't a good day for him.”

Internal and external attributions can also be further sub-categorized as being stable or fluctuating. For example, an attribution that someone has poor driving skills means you are invoking stability or natural ability while an attribution that the guy has probably had one too many drinks means you are invoking temporary or fluctuating conditions. Both types of inference or attribution are affected by varying degrees of controllability (i.e. drinking alcoholic beverages versus not drinking any alcohol before driving).

The How and Why of Attribution

There are two main theories regarding the process of attribution in varying social contexts: the correspondent inference theory and the co- variation model. Both these theories are helpful in figuring out how people are able to create their own explanations of events and situations that they meet every day.

Correspondent Inference Theory

The first theory of attribution stipulates that people make inferences about other people that are indicative of internal traits and characteristics, instead of external circumstances. Why do people choose to think of internal characteristics instead of external circumstances?

The answer lies in people's general preferences for stability. For example, if you meet a waiter who was not very helpful when you wanted to order something special for yourself and your partner, it is likely that your first attribution to such a behavior is that the waiter was simply incompetent.

Since the waiter has already been tagged incompetent, the tag of incompetence will remain in the future. So in essence, you have been able to exert some degree of control over the situation since you will be avoiding the waiter in the future to avoid inconvenience.

People don't usually attribute things based on external circumstances. For example, if you did not get the kind of service that you wanted from a restaurant, you won't think that maybe the waiter is just having a bad day or maybe the management was evil because they did not train the waiter adequately.

The instant tendency is people attribute internal characteristics to behavior, actions, speech, etc.

Since we are always on the lookout for even more stability in our lives, such inferences gives us the kind of knowledge and control that we want because internal characteristics such as “incompetence” or “rudeness” are essentially unchanging attributes. We attempt to associate behavior and people‟s personalities based on three groups of facts:

- Social desirability
- Choice
- Non-common effects

Let's discuss these three fact groups. Social desirability refers to the desirability of a person's behavior compared to what is considered acceptable/normal/agreeable or desirable in society in specific contexts.

People believe that when people show undesirable behavior, this undesirable behavior is linked to an internal trait or internal characteristic. People use this fact group to create attributions because people usually want to stay within the bounds of acceptable behavior at all times.

When a person stays within the bounds of what is considered normal or acceptable, he will not be excluded in any way. Inversely, a person who chooses to act beyond the bounds of what is considered acceptable may be excluded or ridiculed for what he has done.

This ridicule itself has a function – in a way, it forces a person to cease from performing the same unacceptable behavior and return to what is considered normal. Now, let me ask you: do socially desirable behaviors tell us what type of person we are actually dealing with?

The answer is: not necessarily. You see, people perform "acceptable behavior" on a regular basis so they can avoid exclusion. In a way, this is one form of self-preservation.

If Person A's car was slightly scratched by another motorist, he will accept the apology and attempt to fix the situation with the least amount of hullabaloo because this is the acceptable mode of behavior in such a situation.

However, this behavior does hide the fact that Person A may have felt like being aggressive and violent when his car was damaged. What about people who show undesirable behavior?

It's the direct opposite when you are dealing with people who openly show to the public unacceptable behavior. Since these folks are not even thinking of socially acceptable behavior anymore, their behavior may be indicative of their actual internal traits and personalities.

The second fact group involves free choice. People can make inferences about another person's behavior by evaluating whether or not the other person's action was freely and consciously chosen or not. If a person freely chose to do something then by virtue of his conscious choice he is actually revealing a part of himself to the public eye. Why would a person freely choose to do something? The answer is simple: the decision resonates with his personality and beliefs.

The third fact group deals with unique consequences. When an action or behavior results in a unique consequence, a person can classify the same as having a non-common effect.

Events that have unique consequences or non-common effects are most likely caused by internal traits (i.e. a person who screams at people at the slightest provocation will be despised by people; that person will also be classified as being anti-social and aggressive and ultimately, he should be avoided by others).

The Co-variation Model

The obvious limitation of the first theory is that you would only be able to analyze singular events or behaviors. You won't be able to take into account behavior patterns and multiple behaviors. The co-variation model of attribution handles the limitations of the first theory. The co-variation model, unlike the first theory, takes into account internal traits/characteristics as well as external circumstances. The core principle of the co-variation model is simple: for something to cause or trigger a particular behavior, it must be present when a person is exhibiting the behavior. On the flip side, the behavior must not exhibit itself when the potential cause is absent.

Three types of information are vital to the co-variation model:

- Consensus
- Consistency
- Distinctiveness

All three clusters of information are used by a person to create an internal attribution or external attribution. Consensus refers to similar behavior of people around the target subject. Are other people exhibiting the same behavior as the subject? Consistency on the other hand answers the question: does the person behave in the same way in other occasions? Distinctiveness (the third cluster) refers to the frequency of a particular behavior in other contexts and situations (i.e. will a rude person stay rude if he was doing volunteer work?)

The following table explores how people make attributions based on the three clusters:



Type of Attribution


High consensus


Everyone is driving strangely.


Low consensus


Only Person A is driving strangely.



High consistency


Person A drives


strangely all the time.

Low consistency


Person A drove strangely today.



High distinctiveness


Person A drove strangely on Monday.


Low distinctiveness


Person A has always driven strangely around the city.


Not every situation will be analyzed with these three distinct clusters of information. Sometimes, people just stick to one or two clusters and attribute causes to behavior without bothering with the third cluster.

The presence (or absence) of any of these clusters will dictate whether a situational (external) or dis-positional (internal) attribution will result from a person‟s analysis of a situation.

If a person sees that everyone in the environment is doing the exact same thing (i.e. students in a whole auditorium is wearing a red cap) then the attribution will most likely be situational.

However, if only the speaker is wearing a red cap, then the attribution will most likely be dis-positional (i.e. the speaker likes wearing red caps). It should be noted also that not everyone performs analysis based on the co-variation model. In fact, when you look at the co-variation model, it actually resembles a conscious train of thought that requires utmost attention. This doesn't mean that the model is wrong; it just means that at any given time, a person can be using other methods of deduction to understand the world at large. The two theories we have just discussed are by no means strict rules that people follow.

According to researchers, people often react to situations based on gut feel or what people like to call their instincts. People won't spend a lot of time thinking whether or not a person should be trusted. If a person is threatened by another person, he will instinctively avoid that person because he will be acting instinctively.

In a way, this is how people engage in self-preservation. And this is also how people show that they will always choose the path of least resistance when interacting with people, especially people who are showing behaviors that are not socially acceptable. In short: people like shortcuts when it comes to the process of making attribution and analyzing things.

How To Subliminally Influence Someone With Breathing

How To Subliminally Influence Someone With Breathing

Breathing is of utmost importance to communicators! People don’t know that the nexus of their power as communicators lies not in their vocal chords but in their lungs. Proper breathing during conversations and presentations can really have wonderful, positive impact on the way you influence people. Now, how can one breathe better even when one has to talk to people for long periods of time?

The secret of great breathing during active speech is breathing from the stomach. You may have heard of martial arts masters who advocate deep, rhythmic breathing – they were right.

The better you breathe the more creative and energetic you become. You have to remember that without adequate oxygen, the brain cannot function well. You need to feed the brain the only fuel it really needs – oxygen!

If you haven’t paid much attention to how you have been breathing these past few years, it’s time to do a personal checkup. Observe how you breathe right now. Is your chest the prime mover whenever you breathe in? If it is the prime mover, then you are doing shallow chest breathing.

That means you are not using the full capacity of your lungs when you’re talking. To counter this bad breathing pattern, visualize that you have a balloon in your stomach and this balloon is inflating whenever you breathe.

Transfer the effort of breathing in and breathing out to this balloon so that your diaphragm will take care of the changes in the air pressure. The chest should only be the secondary mover during inhalation and exhalation.

Also, try to keep your back straight so your abdominal region will be free to expand and contract when you’re breathing. Also, remember to breathe through your nose.

The nose was designed to clean the air that is entering the lungs. Breathing through the nose also helps people breathe more deeply, even during rigorous exercise.

Choose the In-Breath

We all know that we inhale and exhale all the time. But did you know that you can actually utilize the regular movement of air from your lungs to speak more convincingly?

Most people talk when they are exhaling air from their lungs. The result? They feel tired and weary almost immediately after a few minutes. This is the normal consequence if you speak during the out-breath because the body loses even more oxygen when you speak (the lungs are forced to let go of more air).

To illustrate how the in-breath and the out- breath affects your thinking, I’d like you to do a little exercise form. I want you to imagine a red apple. Now, during an exhalation, I want you to describe that apple for me. Take note of the appearance of the apple in your mind’s eye.

Take notes if you have to. After that, I want you to inhale and do the same. What did you notice about the appearance of the same imagined apple in your mind’s eye?

Did the appearance of the apple change during the in-breath? Nine times out of ten, you probably saw a dark and wrinkled apple during the out-breath and a fresh, crisp apple during the in-breath.

There are some variations in the appearance but most people would say that the imaginary apple looked its best during the in-breath. The reason for this is that during the in-breath we feel fresh, relaxed and creative because the brain is receiving lots of oxygen. That’s what we want to tap into when you are expressing yourself.

Rhythmic breathing from the stomach can really bring out your best ideas and your best body language. Also, you need to start talking during the in-breath. It might take some practice, but you will be able to do it naturally after a short period of time.

Talking during the in-breath will ensure that your ideas and body language will be excellent during a conversation or presentation. When you start talking during the in-breath, you will feel good and your audience will see that you are relaxed and confident about what you are saying.

Eventually, you will be able to establish rapport or harmony with your audience. Your audience will begin to match your movements and even your breathing pattern.

This mirroring is unconscious or subliminal in nature. Your audience won’t even know that they are copying the way you breathe!

A Sneaky Little Way To Deal With Naysayers

A Sneaky Little Way To Deal With Naysayers

The worst thing that could happen to you when you are trying to persuade someone is for that person to say “no” to everything that you say. And let’s face it – there are many individuals who are experts in saying no to people.

Don’t worry – there is actually a language pattern that can help you win in this kind of situation. This hypnotic language pattern focuses on reducing the resistance of the subject to your ideas by forcing agreement at every turn.

How does this work? Well, think about it: people generally don’t like it when people disagree with them. With the agreement pattern, you will agree with a point while at the same time adding your point at the end.

The hypnotic language pattern itself is quite simple:

“I agree with (A) and would add (B)”

This pattern only has three essential elements but it is an extremely powerful pattern that can be used in a variety of situations (like the redefining pattern).

Here’s a quick example:

“I agree that this new product is pricier than its counterparts and would like to add that it has extremely useful features that is not offered by any of the existing competitors”

You can also combine the redefining pattern and the agreement pattern to create an ultra-persuasive pattern that will knock your subject’s socks off:

“I agree that this new product is pricier than its counterparts and would like to add that the issue here is not the price of the product but how much time it will save you in just a few months’ time and how much more profit you are going to rake in by using this product which I may add is being offered at 30% discount to you by our good company”

You might be wondering: does this mean that I have to say yes to everything that the other person says?

Well, you do have to agree with the other person but you don’t have to agree with anything he has said that you don’t like. Or you can just agree with something else just so you can include the agreement pattern in your dialog.

If you don’t agree with anything that the person has just said, you can always just agree that he just said something to you.

This may sound a little odd but it can work. Here’s an example: “I agree that you have just lambasted my business and would add that only someone with the least amount of professional experience would say that”.

A lot of people would react to the fact that I just called someone an amateur with a statement. What good would the agreement pattern do if I just questioned someone’s professional experience?

Well, it’s better to agree with people than to disagree with them. People are universally hardwired to get along with others who agree with them (even if the agreement doesn’t benefit them at all).

Agreement frames are excellent during arguments and heated debates because it actually defuses other people’s defenses automatically. If someone agrees with you, your brain will automatically lower its defenses.

But if someone disagrees with you, all your logical and creative defenses are up and you are ready to fight tooth and nail to defend your position (even if it is wrong).

That’s just how the human brain works. It’s not manipulation or being a controlling person at all. We’re just taking advantage of the fact that people love hearing agreement.

Under normal circumstances, people don’t usually need to point out that someone lacks professional experience (or competence, at that).
Most of the time, you just have to show the other person that there is another way of viewing or analyzing a particular issue:

“I agree that you just disagreed with my point earlier about real fur coats and I would add that there are many ways of analyzing the fur trade issue and your take is just one of many”

You have to be careful when using “but” and “and” in your agreement pattern sentences.

Normally what people do is they agree with someone and follow up their agreement with a “but”. The word “but” is universally understood in the English-speaking world as a sign of disagreement.

Remember the rules of positives and negatives? When you combine a negative element and positive element the result will always be negative.

Therefore, if you say something nice in the beginning but you follow that up with the word “but” the recipient of the message will automatically know that you are about to disagree with him.

It doesn’t matter how nice you were when you said the affirmative/supportive part of the statement. You are still clearly disagreeing with the other person because you used “but”.

Now compare the impact of a statement that uses the word “and” instead of “but”:

Statement # 1

“I agree that the new project is over-budget but I would like to add that everyone was doing everything they can to stay on budget”

Statement # 2

“I agree that the new project is over-budget and would like to add that everyone was doing everything they can to stay on budget”

Notice that the second statement was affirmative throughout. The first statement sounded like it was making an excuse for being over-budget. No one likes excuses.

An excuse often feels like a slap to the face which is why it is universally disliked.

Would you want to sound like you were trying to make an excuse while you were trying to persuade someone? Most probably not – so as much as possible avoid using but when using the agreement pattern.

Expert Strategies for Dealing with Customers, Part 2

Expert Strategies for Dealing with Customers, Part 2

Dealing with customers often frightens even the most seasoned of professionals because it is so easy to commit mistakes along the way. And when the customer walks away, a potential sale is lost and the lost profit is something that most people take very hard, indeed.

While we cannot do anything to change the fact that there will be difficult customers along the way, we can use specific tactics to ensure that you are in the best position to persuade customers to buy when they finally come knocking at your business’ door.

Below are some expert strategies that will help you deal with even the most resistant of customers. Note that not every tactic will work in every situation, so make sure that you plan ahead and that you only use techniques that you think would be appropriate for specific scenarios.

You may have already noticed this but you have probably never associated the concept of laziness with gaining more paying customers for your business.

And yet, laziness is probably the first impulse that kicks in at the back of your customer’s mind when he steps into your office/store to talk to you.

The reason for this laziness is quite simple: humans were designed by nature to take the easiest road possible. Humans don’t like the idea of exerting extra effort if it is not necessary. Sure, some people can work up to 12 hours a day earning extra money, but that doesn’t mean that they would be busting their muscles every minute of the day.

They will take minor shortcuts during their work day to make things easier. So when you are talking to a customer, you need to show that your offer is the best and that you will be the one going the extra mile to make sure that the customer will have a pleasant time doing business with you.

Over delivering is one of the easiest ways to satisfy the laziness impulse of customers. For example, if you say that you will personally deliver something to the customer in an hour or two, that takes away the need to drive all the way to your location to pick up what was purchased.

This gives the customer the idea that your business is better than all the other similar businesses in your area because you go the extra mile for your customers.

Sometimes, it is not enough to just showcase all of the benefits of your offer. This might not motivate your customer enough to get him to buy. The problem lies not in your ability to relate the benefits of your offer but rather, in the customer’s ability to imagine the risks associated with not accepting your offer.

If all your efforts at showcasing the various benefits of your offer have not worked, it’s time to change the strategy. Instead of highlighting all of the things that the customer will get by accepting your offer and buying something from you, enumerate all of the risks associated with not accepting your offer.

This might sound a little risky in itself because you will be presenting something negative but at the same time it just might be the one emotional trigger that the customer has been waiting for to make that final decision.

If the customer is really capable of buying something from you, then he would find no other objection to your offer. But if he is just there to ‘look around’ then he must be relegated to the “80” group and given to your competitors (so your competitors can deal with the difficult customer, not you).

Of course, this tactic will require a lot of brainstorming on your part because you can’t just state minor risks to your customer. You have to be prepared to lay down the different ways that your customer will experience inconvenience or even profit loss if he doesn’t accept your offer.

Don’t fabricate these risks. The risks have to be real and severe enough to jolt your customer into action. If you are not an expert in memorizing long arguments, writing down notes will help. It doesn’t hurt to write down important notes during a conversation and if it helps you get a sale, do it.

In some instances, a customer will take longer to decide because there are several tasks involved before he can make the final decision.

If you establish rapport/harmony with your customer, the logical next step is to help box out timeframes for your customer. For example, if your customer has to fill in paperwork and then consult with his manager before he gets back to you, you can say something like “So to speed things up, I think you should get started on some basic paperwork this week so we can both talk to your manager around the end of the week. Then by early next week, we would have a done deal already.” This of course is only a sample statement. I’m sure you get the picture.

People generally don’t want to talk ahead in a conversation especially if something is being offered or sold to them. This tendency can be extremely problematic to a professional who is not getting enough feedback to evaluate the effectiveness of his own sales techniques.

The best way to get someone to talk (even if he does not want to talk) is to ask questions. You have to break the ice – you can’t sit there talking for two hours without getting any feedback at all from your customer.

Doing so will probably ruin your chances of making a sale because you have no idea what is going on in your customer’s mind. Asking a simple question like “what are you thinking about now?” can help draw out objections into the open so you can deal with them.

Remember: if objects are hidden, you can’t deal with them. Don’t be afraid to ask for any problems that the customer perceives. Welcome these problems through active listening and then propose relevant solutions.