Author Archives: Paul Mascetta

The Role of Logic In Influence

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In a world where people are driven primarily by emotions, logic does have its place.

I've read tons of books on sales and dedicated most of my life to mastering the art of selling. Many sales experts or guru's claim that every decision that we make is primarily an emotional one and that logic is used later to justify that decision. This is true. Even the most logical decisions are driven by emotion. Take the decision to not stand in front of a truck going 60 mph. While it may appear that this is a logical decision because you don’t want to get hurt or even die, it is the emotion of fear that is ultimately driving that decision.

Here is what most of the gurus don’t talk about…. Some people like to think they make decisions logically like “thinkers” for example. These people are not strayed by emotional arguments. They like hard data and facts that support a particular point of view. But this desire to make decisions logically is still driven by the emotion to want to be logical. Therefore, when persuading these types of people, it’s important to appear to appeal to the logical side of their brains but keep in mind that you are still triggering emotions within them.

Emotions are essentially what fuel the world. Emotions are what create love, hate, war, life, death and just about everything else that we do but make no mistake, logic does play a role in the emotional experience.  And therefore, you must always remember to balance tapping into logic and emotion when influencing certain people.

People are definitely more likely to believe what you say, based on logic, but ultimately it is their emotion that will move them to take action.  Many different studies have shown that more than 90% of the decisions that we make are emotionally driven.  Yes, we use logic afterwards to justify our actions and why we did certain things, but ultimately it is emotion that prompts us to first take action.

When using emotion to guide behaviors or thought processes, you can sometimes first engage people using logic, and then tap into the emotion to get them to take action.  For example, if I wanted to persuade you to buy a car- but it was a $250,000 Ferrari -which you know logically you cannot afford, the fact is that we will never even get to the influence process, because you've already made a logical decision that it would not even be worth it to speak with me.

Back to my point, human beings like logic in some cases. And in those cases, it’s extremely valuable. For example, when we are trying to draw conclusions based on evidence that's been given to others, we use logic. In fact, for an argument to even make sense or to even be worth speaking about it has to be true and valid which means there has to be some level of logic involved.

Once all of that has been established, then we can move into the emotional part of how this works.  There are various types of logic that you can use to influence someone and one of my favorites is analogies.  Basically, an analogy is when you reconstruct your point using an example of how your point makes sense, but it's done using a completely different situation.  The reason why I like analogies so much is because they enable me to get to the point fast and it opens up a new perspective for the person to understand what I'm talking about.

One of the first rules of influence is that the audience must understand what you're saying.  And often times, just repeating your point over and over again doesn't do the job.  If you can create a different scenario with a similar meaning, chances are your audience will be able to see things in a different way and ultimately agree with you.

Statistics are another great way to use logic to persuade someone. People love statistics.  Statistics prove that a general number of people believe, act or behave in a certain way and what that leads to is one of the mental triggers that will talk a little talk about in a little while called social validation. When people see that a majority of other people are thinking or acting in a certain way, they assume first that it must be right or it must be correct and secondly, it supports your case.

If you are referencing a statistic which indicates that a certain event has taken place numerous times, it brings the logic to the table which you can use as evidence in your presentation.  Haven't you ever seen the book cover that says “number one bestseller” or “over one million copies sold”? This tells the customer that many other people have bought this book and subconsciously sends a message that says the product must be good if so many people purchased it.

When using logic to influence, there a couple of different rules that I like to follow:

Rule #1 – Third Party Evidence Is A Must - First, whenever you use evidence, use it from a third-party expert rather than presenting it from yourself. Using a third-party expert or third-party opinion shows the person you're trying to influence that it's not just you that believes what you're saying, but someone with  knowledge and expertise feels the same way.  This is why testimonials from others (particularly experts) are so powerful.

Rule # 2 – Use Up To Date Information - Always use information that is updated, new and relevant to the times. I can’t tell you how many books I've read where the author is trying to make a point and he or she will bring up a study of something that took place 10 years ago.  It automatically turns me off and makes me that he or she is probably not using the newer studies because the consensus has changed since then, and they don't want to counteract the point that they're trying to make.

Rule # 3 – Use Evidence That Your Audience Can Relate To - Always make sure that whatever evidence you're going to use is congruent to your audience’s belief system. This goes back to one of the very first rules which is knowing your audience. You don't ever want to make a presentation using evidence that is not in line with your target’s beliefs because doing so may offend them or completely turn them away to the point where they will no longer be receptive to your presentation.  Logic is how we persuade people on a conscious level, but emotion it is the method which we persuade people on a subconscious level.  It takes place in ways that people don't even realize are happening.  Human beings formulate emotions based on how we feel about certain things.  We generate these feelings based on a number of different factors.  Most of it has to do with past experiences, upbringing and society.

Those three things contribute to how we feel about certain things and how we develop morals, beliefs and values.  When something is in line with our morals beliefs and values, it positively impacts us, strikes our emotion and moves us to take action.  When something is opposite to our beliefs or morals, we will take action, but in a different way; usually in the opposite direction to avoid whatever is being presented.

The Top Five Personality Traits Of A Successful Sales Person

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The top five personality traits of a sales person:

Driven by results rather than work – In sales, sometimes the work is hard and sometimes it’s easy. In the end, all we care about is whether the deal was made or not.

Enthusiastic – Enthusiasm is contagious. In some cases, you can get a person to do what you want simply because you transmitted your enthusiasm to them.

Outgoing – Outgoing people don’t tend to be shy. Shyness will prevent you from opening up presentations, asking questions and overcoming objections.

A Good Listener – Perhaps the most important of all traits; being good listener will arm you will everything you need to close. Failing to listen to others could shatter any chance of victory even when all other skills are mastered.

Diplomatic – Sometimes, it’s not what you say; it’s how you say it. The ability to get your point across without offending others is a priceless talent.

If you exhibit any one of these personality traits by nature, the work you need to put in will be less than the person who does not. If you exhibit none of them, don’t worry. It’s nothing some training and practice can’t fix.

The bottom line is anyone can become an expert salesperson. It’s just a matter of how much you need to learn. But rest assured, with a desire to learn and the right material, you can become a master of selling very easily. 

The first hing you need to know when selling is that it's never about you.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen a person whiff a deal because they spent the entire time talking about what they think is important. If the person in front of you saw things the same way as you, you wouldn’t be fighting for a deal. To get them to see things your way, you must first figure out what the other person sees as important or valuable. When selling a product or service, it’s never about “what” you’re selling. It’s about the others person’s perception of what you’re selling.

When selling an opinion, it’s never about how your opinion can benefit you; it’s about how it will benefit the other person. In cases, where your opinion will not benefit someone directly, you will focus on what the person stands to lose.

I worked in the fitness industry for years. I’ve sold many things in my life but I alwaus felt that fitness was truly something that everyone needs so I chose to sell the benefits of health and believe me, I know every benefit there is. But in reality, when making someone a member, I never spoke about the things that I thought were beneficial, I always focused on what the other person considered to be beneficial. The only way to figure that out is to ask the right questions.

Questions In The Sales Process

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Asking questions actually serves a few purposes.

First, it enables you to find out what the other person’s perception of value is.

Second, it will disclose any objections that may come up so that you can prepare to overcome them.

Third, it opens the door for conversation which creates rapport.

But most importantly, it identifies the emotional reason why this person would buy into what you are presenting. Remember, people buy based emotion and use logic to justify their actions.

Every time I interview a candidate for a sales position, the first question that I always ask is “In terms of selling, do you consider yourself ok, good or great?” In reality, when it comes to experienced salespeople there is only good or great because the one’s that are ok usually wind up never making any money so they smarten up and move on to something else.

Back to my story, every time I interview a candidate I ask them to rate themselves in terms of how well they sell and while a few are modest and say their good, most consider themselves “experts”. I then pick up my stapler or my cell phone or whatever else is within my reach and I ask these so called experts to sell it to me. Within 30 seconds, I can tell if I am dealing with a true expert or someone who thinks they’re an expert. In most cases, I’m dealing with the latter.

What typically happens is the person picks up the stapler and starts talking about its features and durability and why I should buy it. They think they’re painting a perfect picture. The only problem is they’re painting a picture that exists in their mind; not mine. I then tell them I need to think things over and am not ready to make a purchase today.

They either have no idea what to say next and say nothing or they ask what my objection is and they cannot overcome it because they are not prepared. Aside from that, they have built no rapport and therefore are in no position to start questioning me so they are jeopardizing the sale altogether by doing so.

They should have started out by asking a few simple questions like:

Is this for home or work use?

What is the most important thing you look for in a stapler?

Are you interested in purchasing just one stapler or multiple staplers?

What is your budget?

How important is having a stapler to your business?

If they had done this, they would have:

1.) Identified my emotional reason for buying which will always outweigh my “logical reason” for not buying.

2.) Learned  what I considered to be valuable so they could have built the presentation around  that, thereby peaking my interest.

3.) Learned of any objections that I may have so that they could prepare to overcome them.

4.) Developed a rapport so that when it came time to overcome my objections they could do so more easily.

The questions that you will ask will vary depending on what product/service/opinion you are trying to sell but they are an essential part of the process nonetheless.

Sales Presentation Basics

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First you must know your target's "hot buttons". You obtain these during the needs/wants analysis which is when you ask them a series of questions to determine their wants, needs, desires and objections.

You then press them during your presentation to spike the person’s interest level. For example, if you are selling a car to someone who has already let you know that saving on gas is what they are most interested, stay away from sports vehicles and large SUV’s.

Instead, spend time small to mid-sized vehicles that have good gas mileage and keep pointing it out during the presentation. Don’t even mention the time it takes for the car to go from zero to sixty (something you may think is cool) as that will make the person automatically associate the speed with gas being guzzled.

The point is this, the presentation should be built around the other person’s perception of value. But aside from that, there are a few more things you should know about a presentation.

1.)           Keep the flow of conversation moving – Awkward silent moments make presentation seem, well awkward. Awkward is the opposite of interesting, exciting and just about everything else you want the presentation to be. Aside from that, when you are not speaking about the benefits of what you’re selling, it appears that here aren’t many benefits to talk about. If you’re mind goes blank for am moment you can you can make small talk about things (if you’ve determined that the other person will open up). In fact, if they do open up, the rapport that has been built will be even stronger than it was before.

2.)           Assume the person is buying – During the presentation, make small statements which suggest the person has already bought. For example, don’t say things like “If you purchase this car”. Instead, something like “when you purchase this car”. That gets the person into the mind frame that they’ve already bought. Do that enough times during the presentation and by the time it comes to make the purchase, the person will have created such a vision of themselves owing the product, it will be very hard to do otherwise.

3.)           Ask “yes” questions – Asking a series of questions that warrant the answer yes will make it difficult for the person to say no at the end. Something like, “What’s great about this gym is that all of equipment is new; don’t you agree?” Getting a person into the habit of saying yes and agreeing with you will lower the chances of them saying no or disagreeing with you.

The Verbiage Trigger

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Sometimes it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.

Sometimes it is not what you're saying to someone, but the way that you're saying that will impact them and cause them to take action.  Your message can be perceived in various ways depending on your verbiage. Take the following statement for example:

I didn't say he hit his wife.

There are many different ways that we can actually make this statement depending on the emphasis on the words. Emphasis on certain words changes the way the person you are speaking perceives the information. Read the following statements out loud and each time, put emphasis on the word that is in bold.

I didn't say he hit his wife.

I didn't say he hit his wife.

I didn't say he hit his wife.

I didn't say he hit his wife

I didn't say he hit his wife.

I didn't say he hit his wife

I didn't say he hit his wife.

While each one of these statements has the same words, they all convey a different message. That is how the verbiage trigger works.  Words are extremely powerful and every time we use them, we can create mental visions which then instill feelings within someone. Words like disease sadness, depression, hatred bring feelings of negativity while words like happiness, joy, fulfillment and success instill good feelings within us. Your word choice in the influence process is extremely important; especially if you're speaking to an auditory person. An auditory person is a person that is more open to suggestion and processes information based on the way things sound.  Generally speaking there are three types of representational systems that people use to process information:

Auditory – Make decisions based upon the way something sounds.

Kinesthetic - Make decisions based upon the way something feels.

Visual - Make decisions based upon the way something looks.

Therefore, if you're speaking to an auditory person, the words that you are using are going to have very powerful effect on them so you must be extra conscious of words that may turn them off as well as the words that may actually prompt them to take action. As an example, working in the fitness industry for many years, you learn to use certain words versus other ones because they sound better to the customer.  When they join, we ask them to sign a piece of paper which says they agree to pay for the service but we never call that a contract; we call it a membership agreement. We don’t ask for a signature, we ask for an “okay”.  If they asked me if was getting paid a commission, I tell them that there is a fee for my service.  When I was trying to convey my point, I never told them that I'm trying to sell them something; rather I sad that I wanted to get them involved in what we have to offer.

Remember that the way that you verbally package something can also completely change the perception of something. For example, if I wanted to tell you that my Internet service is extremely fast and that no other brand is faster, I could say that no other brand works faster even if my brand doesn't fall into that category.

Storytelling - Story telling is one of the most effective ways to persuade someone.  People love to hear stories and when they do, the mind becomes organically engaged because we desire to know the outcome of the story.  One of the most important parts of the story are the mental images that vivid speaking produces. When you're speaking vividly, you're basically creating a picture for the person who you are speaking to which will then help them to use their imagination.  We do this by making them feel what we are speaking about in the story that we’re telling.  I do have a couple of rules that I generally like to follow when it comes to verbiage.

Rule # 1 Speak Simply And Clearly – Speak clearly and don’t use complex words that your audience may not know the meaning of.  It’s essential that your audience understands every word that rolls off your tongue. If they don’t, you risk losing their attention due to the fact they are too busy trying to understand what you are saying. When that happens, they are no longer engaged. If I was giving you directions to go find $1 million, but I was saying it in a language that you couldn’t understand, chances are you would never find the money because I would never have prompted you to take any sort of action. The same is true if you use words that people do not understand; they will not take action.  Secondly, you don't want to use words that are abstract or unclear.  One thing that you never want to do is confuse the person that you trying to gain compliance from because that will only lead to procrastination and ultimately not making a decision.  Always use language that is a verb driven meaning it includes action verbs.  This will engage your prospect’s emotions both on a conscious level and a subconscious level.

Rule #2 Keep Your Sentences Short And To The Point - You never want to overwhelm people with what you're saying because if you do, you will lose them and as I said before, once you've lost them, it’s pretty much pointless to continue your presentation.

Rule #3 Use Volume Accordingly - Always make sure that when you're speaking, the volume is the same as it would be if you were in a Starbucks talking about a potential business deal.  All parties come with the understanding that while it is a public place, the people there are having conversations and trying to get work done, so it's not the right time to raise your voice. If on the other hand, if you're an expert persuader who was the hired to be a motivational speaker and you're giving a speech in front of thousands of people, you don't want to keep your voice down. In this case, you want to project your voice and speak with lots of energy and enthusiasm. Point being is that there are times when you’ll need to raise your voice and times for you to lower your voice but you should always be conscious of that and know which is appropriate based on the environment.

Rule # 4 If Nothing Else, Master Articulation - The ability to properly articulate is priceless and extremely important when it comes to verbiage because it enables people to better understand what you're talking about.  Sometimes, you can make a statement, but people will not agree with it simply because they don't know enough about it. If you're able to articulate your point effectively, you will then enable them to understand it better and perhaps change their opinion of it.  People who can articulate their points well are also very much admired by others because it makes them appear intelligent and well versed.

Rule #5 Pay Attention To Your Pace - The pace at which you speak is also very important.  Pay very close attention to how fast or slow you are delivering your message.  You may be saying some of the most important things but if you're speaking too fast, your message may become lost or you may lose the listeners attention because they're trying to follow up on what you said last. By the same token, you don't want to speak extremely slowly, because you can bore someone and completely lose their attention as well.

Rule #6 Use Comparisons - One of the most effective parts of verbiage that I have ever used is comparisons.  Any time I'm able to take the situation and completely reformat it by comparing it to a similar situation only with different events or circumstances; I can engage the listener much more effectively. Sometimes people don’t agree with what you’re saying simply because the concept may not make sense to them. If you can compare it to something similar that does make sense to them, it will make them more receptive to what you’re saying.

Three Simple Steps To Gain Repeat Compliance

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The human brain is wired in such a way that a person comes with decisions instantaneously and then finds reasons to justify that decision. These reasons could be fact or fiction; it doesn’t matter.

If the person has to come up with a lot of reasons, they will regret the decision later. In fact, the 2 are directly related to one another meaning the more reasons they have to come up with, the more regrets they will l experience later.

And if they wind up openly discussing these reasons, then the regret is even worse.

That’s why it’s extremely important to remember that when you gain the decision to comply from someone, immediately shut up and move on to the next step. Never encourage your target to think about what a great decision they made because it will backfire on you.

If you begin asking them for reasons why they decided to comply, they’ll wind up backing out a few days later.

Once you gain compliance, the next step is to set yourself up to gain it again. So if you do business with someone, the key is to be able to do repeat business over and over again.

One way to ensure that is to limit the amount of choices of what you have to offer. Choices confuse people and give them reasons to procrastinate.  Instead, find the driving need (or at most the top 3 needs) and fill them for your customer.

Anything that does not fill an immediate need will just cloud their judgment and when they do finally decide, will cause them to be unhappy with the choice they made.

You must also be sure that you don’t present what you have to offer in a way that resembles anything that may have burned them in the past.

I came across this a lot when I was selling fitness. The truth of the matter is that most people who join a gym don’t stick with it. So unless it was their first time joining a club or they work out regularly and were choosing my location simply for convenience, the odds were that they joined a gym in the past and didn’t stick with it; hence wasting their money.

When performing my needs analysis to determine what brought them in, I would always find out if they did in fact join a club in the past only to not go. And if they did, I had to structure my presentation very tactfully as I know that past regret was still lingering in their mind; as it will be for some clients of yours.

Regret can also work in your favor if the regret stems from them not taking action the last time and wondering what could have been.

The key here is to discover how they feel about previous decisions as they relate to what you’re offering.

Do they regret acting or not acting?

Whatever you do, never make them feel stupid about past decisions. Let them know that any intelligent person probably would have done the same thing if the situation presented itself in a similar manner.

If you show even the slightest inkling that you think they made a foolish mistake they will not only NOT give you their business but they may go out of their way to give it to a competitor or co-worker just to avoid giving it to you.

Ten Quick Facts On Decisions

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1.)    People make impulsive decisions and then stand behind that impulse as if the decision was made logically with a lot of thought behind it.

2.)    When a person’s decision turns out to have good results, they are quick to take the credit. When the results are unfavorable, they tend to blame external sources like timing and luck.

3.)    People make decisions based on emotion and then use logic to justify those decisions.

4.)    People are unaware of the fact that the manner in which a question is framed plays a bigger role in how people respond to it than the content of the question itself.

5.)    When making decisions, people overemphasize the role of consequence or pain nearly 3 times as much what’s really at stake.

6.)    People tend to avoid perceived risk.

7.)    Most people are not equipped to really calculate the chances that an event will or will not take place.

8.)    People tend to make decisions independently rather than seeking the advice of someone else who can provide a different perspective.

9.)    Most people will take a sure thing (even when it doesn’t make sense) as opposed to taking the risk of gaining something with 50/50 odds.

10.) People are unaware of how they can become influenced by specific questions which unconsciously change their minds.

The Law Of Proof

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The Law of Proof states that people believe if something worked before, it will probably work again . While emotion is what will ultimately get someone to take action, it is perceived logic that will open up the possibility of them taking action in the first place.  One of the biggest ways that we exercise logic - or at least what we believe to be logic - is by taking a look at what other people have done and the results they’ve experienced.

This method of looking for proof does two things: First, it shows us that a certain method of doing things is effective and second, it makes us feel the method is widely accepted so it must correct.

Each and every one of us wants to fit in, wants to belong and wants to be part of a certain social group.  It is human nature to feel this way and that’s why often times, we want to see what the majority of people have done in certain situations. In most cases, we will assume that if enough people did something, it must be the logical or correct way of doing things. We make these judgments based on social norms and there are basically two types that exist:

Explicit Norms - These are ultimately written, documented and/or spoken rules that are either accepted publicly or within a certain group of people. Examples include an employee handbook at a place of employment, the policies and procedures of an organization or street signs.

Implicit Norms – These rules of the game are usually not as openly stated as explicit ones. Implicit norms include traditions or something being accepted as “the right thing to do” such as saying hello to someone when you meet them for the first time or not putting your elbows on the table when you eat. These are norms that have been put in place over the years by society that most people have a basic understanding that they should follow.  In cases where we don't know what the norm is, we will seek to find and this is where social validation gives us is the short-cut that we are looking for. Rather than investing the time, energy and hard work of researching a certain topic and figuring out whether or not we should act on it, we simply just look at what other people do.

People in advertising and marketing know the power of social validation works extremely well which is why they put things like “over 1 million copies sold” on the cover of books which sends a message to us that says since over 1 million people have bought this book, it must be worth buying and therefore we should probably buy it.

There are many different ways to put social validation to work.  When trying to be persuasive, if what you have to offer has been socially validated by the majority of people, most people will be interested in it. When it comes to social validation, there are a few rules that I always like to follow.

Rule # 1 - The bigger the group, the more likely your chances of being able to persuade someone using social validation becomes. The higher the number of people thinking, acting and behaving in a certain way, the greater the likelihood of more people following.

Rule # 2 - The second important factor is the level of identity involved. The more people can identify with what the majority group is doing, the more likely they are to get involved in it. If we hear that a large number of people have bought a certain book on particular topic, it will open us up more to the possibility of doing it because we see that so many other people have done it but it must be a topic that we can identify and relate to, otherwise we probably would not have any interest in it at all.

Rule #3 - The third and most important rule of social validation is that the principle has to be extremely clear.  So the factor that is that's making it so large among the public is the factor that you want to exploit. This could include the fact that it’s the s the best-selling, the most effective, the cheapest or the longest lasting.

The Law Of Expectations

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The Law of Expectations says that people generally act in way that other people expect them to.

As individuals, we can sometimes make decisions and behave based upon how others expect us to.  This is known as the impact of suggestion in general and it holds true for behaviors that are both positive and negative.  We tend to fill the expectations that people have about us.  We all want to be admired, liked and respected.

And in our minds, if we can fulfill people's expectations, we believe they will like us more.  This can work both positively and negatively. If you constantly expect a person to act in a bad way, chances are they will eventually take you up on your assumptions.

There are various ways to communicate your expectations. Ivan Pavlov was a famous hypnotist and physiologist as well as a Nobel Prize winner.  He was most noted for his ability to get dogs to salivate every time they heard a buzzer. Pavlov would ring the buzzer and then feed the dogs over and over again.

Eventually, every time the dogs would hear the buzzer, they would expect that they would soon be fed and therefore begin to salivate.  You can actually do the same thing during the influence process with your audience in various ways which include:

Assumptions – The expectations that we have are usually based on the assumptions that we have about people or groups of people.  I remember growing up as a kid; I was not your typical grade A student.  I was always finding myself in some sort of mischief and had created a reputation for myself for being a troublesome kid.  As time progressed in school, more and more teachers, parents and children began to know my reputation and I continued my behavior because I felt as though they were expecting me to behave this way. I basically created an identity as a trouble maker for myself when I was around this group of people. Reputations are a powerful thing and most people feel the need to live up to them; whether good or bad.

This is exactly how the Law of Expectations works in sales. We use this law all the time by assuming that the sale was already made. So if I was presenting a product or service to you and I was trying to get you to visualize using it, I would ask questions like “so when you purchase this car will you be driving it to work or for pleasure?” I have already assumed that the sale has been made.  I am expecting that the sale will be made and subconsciously layering those expectations into the prospects mind so that eventually they will comply with my expectations.  You can also do this by asking questions that assume the decision for compliance has already been made.

Embedded Commands - The Law of Expectations is something we often find in NLP through the use of embedded commands. When using embedded commands, you are communicating to the conscious mind but sending a message to the subconscious mind at the same time.  Basically what you're doing is bypassing the conscious mind to have direct communication with the subconscious mind. You could do this either in spoken language or written language.

Much research has shown that we can actually use embedded commands to completely reformat our beliefs or values without even realizing that it has even happened.  That's what makes embedded commands so effective.  We have no time to use our conscious mind to logically scrutinize the information. Our subconscious mind has already made the decision for us.

Pacing and Leading - Pacing and leading are also powerful NLP tactics that involve use of the Law of Expectations.

When you're pacing, you are establishing rapport and making the level of communication easier.  And when you're leading, you’re simply just leading your prospect closer toward your viewpoint. Using both of these techniques allows you to direct a person’s thoughts and actions so that they are congruent to what you want to ultimately gain their compliance. In the pacing process, you can connect with the other party either verbally or nonverbally to build rapport with them.

When you do this, they feel like they're aligned with you and ultimately they feel more comfortable being around you. In pacing, you simply use statements that are universally accepted.  When you do this, you remove any chance of disagreement or noncompliance, and generally others will agree with what you're saying.

Pacing involves speaking a lot about topics that have already been proven to be valid or are socially accepted.  Once there is a synergistic relationship between you and the other person, you can create the expectation of agreement between the two of you and they will be more likely to comply with your requests.

The Law Of Cognitive Dissonance

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As humans, we feel the need to act in accordance with our core beliefs and values.  In other words, it is very difficult for us to behave or act in a way that is different from what we really believe deep down in our hearts. A researcher at Stanford University formulated something called the cognitive dissonance theory. 

In his own words, he stated when our actions conflict with our attitudes or beliefs; we become uncomfortable and motivated to try to change.  The method by which the Law of Cognitive Dissonance works is by leveraging the fact that people tend to act in a manner that is congruent to their beliefs and values. 

When we act in a way that is different than what our values and beliefs represent, we find ourselves in a state of discomfort.  Acting in a way that is not consistent with your core beliefs and values can produce anxiety, negative emotions and all-around feelings of general discomfort. 

It creates an immense amount of tension within us, and an overall feeling of being off balanced.  Human beings like balance and we will do just about anything to achieve it and relieve ourselves from internal discomfort or uneasiness that is caused when we act differently than what we believe is right. When we experience this internal conflict that I speak of, we don't like it and we will do whatever it takes to experience balance once again.  There are many different ways in which we do this. 

Rationalization - The first method is that we’re going to cover is rationalization.  Rationalization is when someone finds excuses or reasons why the loss of balance or inconsistency is acceptable.  We often find ourselves justifying our behavior or decisions to make ourselves feel better.  

Denial - Next on the list is denial. Denial is probably the most common and easiest form of reducing the tension.  In this case, the person simply denies that the problem even exists. They can do this by ignoring the entire situation or choosing to believe that the source where the information is coming from is not reliable.  

Correction - The next method that we use to reduce internal conflict is trying to find evidence to support why the information we received is inaccurate. 

Reframing - The next method is called reframing. Here, the person essentially changes their interpretation of the meaning behind the message that was given. This results in them either changing their thought process entirely or reducing the level of value concerning the entire matter as if it’s just not that important to them.  

Separation - And last but not least is separation.  In this case the person simply separates themselves from events or matters that are causing the internal conflict.  They do this by saying things like “one thing has nothing to do with another.”  

All of the examples above simply illustrate how we alleviate the internal conflict within by doing whatever it takes to convince ourselves that we made the right decision.  This is why in sales, it is extremely important to get the prospect to make a purchase on the same day.  Once a person has made a purchase, they are mentally vested in the product or service and will then do whatever it takes to convince themselves that they have made the right decision. 

A word about commitments… 

Of all the results that we can achieve by using the Law of Cognitive Dissonance, perhaps the greatest is getting people to keep whatever commitments they make.  Researchers have found that people who gamble are much more confident about the outcome of the game after they have placed their bet.

 In general, most people want to follow through on their commitments. If not because of their own personal values and morals, it’s because of the way they feel they will be perceived by society if they don’t.  This is why getting commitments from people is extremely important to the influence process. And the more public the commitment is, the more effective the trigger is.  There are three types of commitments that you can get from people. 

The first is a written commitment which is basically an exchange of promises that is documented and signed between two or more parties.

The second type is what we call a minor commitment.  The purpose of a minor commitment is to eventually lead someone into a major commitment.  People tend to buy or comply with people that they have bought from or complied with in the past. Therefore, if you can gain a commitment in any form - even if it is small - it will help you because it will eventually make it easier to gain a larger commitment.

 And the third type of commitment -which is extremely powerful – is a public commitment.  Any time a person makes a commitment in front of other people, they feel a burning desire to support that commitment no matter what because they do not want to look like hypocrites to the public.  As an effective sales manager for many years, I not only had every one of my salespeople put their commitments in writing but I also had them do it in front of everyone during team meetings because I knew this would instill in them a burning desire to keep their commitments and not look like failures. 

Here is how you put the Law of Cognitive Dissonance to use. First gain a commitment (public if possible) from the other party.  The more public the commitment, the more likely they are to keep it. Second you want to gain - what I call - gradual and continuous confirmations.  What I mean by this is that you start out with smaller requests that gradually lead to bigger ones.  Gaining these types of confirmations does two things. 

First, it opens the door for the possibility of the other party complying because you're starting out small. And secondly, it begins the process of them complying with you. And the more people comply with you, the easier it will be to gain compliance from them in the future.  One thing you must keep in mind when you are gaining commitments from other people is that these commitments must be voluntary.  The person must choose to commit to whatever it is that you're asking of them.  You do not want to use force in any way, shape or form, because if you do, the process will have a poor result.

People ultimately want to do what they feel in their heart.  And if you force them into doing what they believe is what you want rather then what they want, the internal conflict trigger will backfire on you.  In this case, the person internally feels one way and you have forced them to act in a way that is different than that. Eventually, they will have to return to behaviors that reflect their inner values.  

Once you've gained the commitment, the next step is to create the dissonance.  You do this by showing the other party how their thoughts, decisions and behaviors to not comply with what you are offering is causing them to not keep their commitment.  Once you have done this, the person will feel the sense of internal conflict, uneasiness, anxiousness and discomfort.  This is where you offer the solution to resolve the internal conflict that resides within them through your product, service or point of view.  So again, the three steps to using the Law of Cognitive Dissonance are: 

1.)           Gain a commitment

2.)          Create the dissonance

3.)          Offer a solution to resolve the dissoance