Top Five Rules For Marketing Anything

Top Five Rules For Marketing Anything

Here are my top 5 rules for marketing anything:

1.) Research - Make sure a market exists for the value you plan to offer. Belief in something, passion, persistence and high quality are all great but if there's no market, there's no real opportunity to add value and be compensated in the process. When you identify the market, speak to their desires and pain points. Aim to give them an advantage and/or solve their problems.

2.) Decide And Stand Firm - Be one thing to a specific group of people rather than trying to be many things to everyone. It's always better to have smaller targeted group of people who value your information than a large group who don't even know who you are. Remember, it's hard to sell prime grass fed meat to vegetarians.

3.) Master Marketing - As Dan Kennedy puts it every successful business is a marketing business (or something like that :). Point is you could have the cure to cancer. If your audience isn't made aware of this or doesn't fully and easily understand it, it's of no use.

4.) Test Everything - Never make the mistake of thinking that marketing is a religion. There are many different ways to sell something. Some work better than others for many different reasons like:

Timing - Is the market ready or are they even aware that they need your product/service?

Stage of Buying Cycle - Where are they in terms of the process of making a purchase?

State of Awareness- How much does the market know about your product?

State of Sophistication - How many similar products/offers have they seen?

In marketing there are no successes or failures; there are only tests. Each test will bring you closer to the answers to these questions. Some things you can begin testing right away are: your headline, your product positioning, your price, your bonus offer and your guarantee.

5.) Avoid Infatuation - Love - or at the very least enjoy - what you market or how you market it as doing things that you dread just for money eventually just wind up sucking your soul from you - not a good thing if you're into having a soul. BUT, never fall in love with an idea just because it's yours or you think it's cool.. Fall in love with it for the right reasons (ie. it helps people, lots of people desire to have it, it has the potential to set you free financially because of the first two reasons). The market NEVER lies.

Master Influence Key: Mind Set

Master Influence Key: Mind Set

I wasn't always self-employed.

My longest stint at having a "real job" was working in the fitness industry; first in sales and then in magangement.

I guess if I had to have a job it would be in a gym.

It's pretty cool.

You meet a lot of people.

Every day is different.

And it's one thing you can sell the hell out of people without feeling any kind of guilt because everyone needs it.

As cool as it was it was still a job. And the thought of all that accountability and order taking (in many cases from people who couldn't shine my shoes when it came to experience and common sense) gave me the willies.

I remember when I decided to finally quit and jump into my own business full time.

Everyone (including my wife, mom and even some of closet friends who are entrepreneurs themselves) thought I was nuts.

People often ask me what the "secret" to getting into online publishing and online marketing is and how I did it.

I've thought about how I could answer this a thousand different times. Most of the answers I came up with were really self righteous.

They were all centered around my experience.

My risk taking.

My knowledge.

My business savvy.

My balls to take the plunge, etc.

And while I like to tell myself that story - we all tell ourselves stories by the way - the fact is I wanted to come with an answer that actually helps people.

This isn't exactly the "full version" but it's a damn good start.

Here it is.

When you're an expert at something, you feel extremely confident about the outcome. For example, you might have a task that you do every day on your job. Whether you like doing it or not doesn't matter. It's a task that you perform every single day. You've done it for so long that if I were to ask you to get onstage and perform it in front of a hundred people, you could probably do so without even being nervous.

What if I were to ask you to execute a different task—one that you're not so good at doing but that is something you aspire to be good at?

Let's say your dream is to become a professional guitar player. That's your passion. That's what you've always dreamed about. That's what you've always wanted to do. That's where your heart is.

Unfortunately, you're a lousy guitar player.

Now, if I were to put you onstage and ask you to play a guitar in front of a hundred people, you'd probably be a lot more nervous doing that than you would be performing the task you do every day at your job—the task that's mundane, that you hate, that has absolutely nothing to do with where you want to go in life. The only difference between the two is the level of expertise that you have, and that plays directly into your state of mind when you begin to work with what I call stealth magnetism.

Every moment of our lives, we're shifting from one emotional state to another. It's always happening. Sometimes we're in a happy state. Sometimes we're in a focused state. Sometimes we're in a sad state. Sometimes we just transition from one state to another. And stealth magnetism is about creating a positive emotional state in your mind so that other people are magnetically drawn to you.

In order for you to be able get there, you first need to gain control over your state of mind. Your mind has to be in a state of calmness and confidence, and this becomes easier once you have developed a particular expertise. My definition of expertise is purposeful engagement is greater than fixed ability. Let me explain what I mean by that.

Some people believe that expertise is something you're born with, like a natural talent or ability. Granted, in some cases, this can happen. But my experience and my research has taught me that purposeful engagement is a better indicator of expertise; because when you're purposely engaged in doing something, you're constantly learning. You're constantly using your mind.

Therefore, you develop a higher level of expertise just through your experience.

I want to take a moment to talk about IQ. I know many of you may struggle with the concept of IQ when you're doing tasks you don't enjoy. You think you're not smart enough, or good enough, or that some task is beyond your level of intelligence. And many of you think your IQ is set in stone—that it is something that will ultimately dictate what you will excel at or what will hold you back in life.

Alfred Binet invented the IQ test in order to help identify children who were not profiting from the public school system in Paris. He created the test so that new educational programs could be designed to get these kids back on track. You may believe that the IQ test was designed to summarize someone's intelligence and that is can't be changed. In reality, the purpose of the test is to change your intelligence.

Fixed Mind-set Versus Growth Mind-set

The fixed mind-set is a limited mind-set. It requires a constant state of proof. It includes immense levels of self-doubt. When you are dealing with the fixed mind-set, your hand is constantly bluffed (and I'll explain more about that in a minute). Alternatively, with the growth mind-set, all positive traits are cultivated or created from effort.

The formula for this is Application + Experience = Changes and Growth.

And in this mind-set, the hand is played instead of bluffed.

Let's go back to the real purpose of the IQ test. So many of you make false assumptions about yourselves and what you're capable of doing based on your past experiences. Again, the real purpose of the IQ test was to determine how to improve someone's intelligence. And I'm here today telling you that you can improve your intelligence and your skill set in anything you wish. I'm here to tell you that you can keep a fixed mind-set or a growth mind-set.

A fixed mind-set means you believe your capabilities are limited. No matter what, there are aspects of your life with which you'll never excel. No matter what, there will always be a barrier. Something is going to stop you from succeeding in a particular area of your life. When you're in this state of mind, you're constantly trying to prove yourself. You're constantly thinking about those areas of your life where you do feel comfortable.

This circles back to something I talk about a lot; the theory of illusory superiority, which in layman's terms means that the average person believes that they are smarter than the average person—that there are certain elements you feel you're better at than the average person. And when you're in that fixed- mind state, you constantly need to accentuate them. You constantly need to prove yourself. You feel it's important to show people exactly how good you are at some things to compensate for the fact that you're terrible at other things. This is all tied into your having immense self-doubt.

Of course, we all have strengths and weaknesses, but that's a different conversation. What I'm trying to get you to think about is whether you're in that constant state of proving yourself. When you're in this state, you're bluffing. You're taking the cards that you were dealt, and instead of playing the hand with a growth mind-set (which I'll talk about in a second), you're looking to see what other people think about you and think about the hand that you hold. You're trying to use illusion to change the way your hand is perceived.

With the growth mind-set, you have the awareness that all positive traits can be developed or created through effort. The growth mind-set means Application + Experience = Change and Growth. You're aware that you can easily change and grow as a human being. Here you take the hand that you are dealt, and strategically play that hand to the best of your ability instead of trying to make it seem as if it's something else. That's the difference between the fixed mind-set and the growth mind-set.

Most of the things that you do in life are because you feel like there is a certain level of safety, control and predictability. For most of my friends, it's that steady paycheck. It's having a place to go every day. It's knowing that there's a certain level of predictability in his life.

For me, it's the complete opposite. I feel like I'm being restrained and have no control when I'm in that type of environment. Here's what I told my friend about moving from the fixed mind-set to the growth mind-set.

Let's say you quit your job today. Instead of thinking, "Well, I'm not going to have a guaranteed paycheck on Friday", and letting that scare the life out of you; think about all the possibilities. Think about doing your homework and doing some strategic planning. If you have things lined up the right way, then you'll be able to do certain things on Monday that will create the desired level of income that you want on Friday.

That's a completely different way of looking at the equation. Now, I realize that in some cases, that's easier to say than to do. I get that. So I also explained to him that before I quit my job in sales and started running my own business, I asked myself three questions. I suggest you write these down, because this is really important for anything you choose to do with your life.

What have I done to get to this point?

Can I repeat this process over and over?

What's the absolute worst-case scenario?

If I've made any other money besides what I made from my job, what have I done to make that money? Can I turn this into a sustainable thing that I can keep doing over and over—or was this just a one-off where I got lucky this time—and if I try it again, it's probably not going to pan out. And what's the worst- case scenario?

When I quit my job, I thought about what I did to get there and what I did to generate the money. Well, I had written sales copy for some of the biggest online Internet marketers, and that had put a decent amount of money in my pocket. I had also started researching and publishing information, much like I'm doing in this program right now. I asked myself whether I could continue writing sales copy if I needed to, even though that's not really what I wanted to focus my career on (I wanted to focus my career on sharing all the information I had learned throughout my life with people like you).

The second question I asked myself was whether I could continue to publish information. The answer to that was yes.

And then the third question was about my worst-case scenario. My worst-case scenario was that everything that I had done would turn out to be a fluke.

That the moment that I quit my job, all of the forces would turn against me. The universe would not work in my favor, and I would fall flat on my face and not make a dime. That was the worst-case scenario.

Then I asked myself how long I could go without having an income—where I could pay all my bills, make sure there's food on the table, and make sure there's a roof over my family's head without draining my savings. I was able to come up with a number that I felt comfortable with, and that was three months. I could live for three months with absolutely no money coming in. In addition, I realized that in that three-month period, I probably would be able to figure out how to get things moving again. But if I couldn't, I could always get another job. That was my worst case scenario.

My point is this. I'm not saying that once you decide to make a change, you just believe that everything is going to magically happen. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is if you ask yourself those three questions, the first two (what have I done to get here, and can I repeat the process) will force you into developing a strategic plan. Once you have your strategic plan developed, and you're ready to put it into place; that's when you can begin to take control. Once you have that in place, then it's time to shift your mind-set.

Instead of waking up on that first Monday morning and thinking, "Oh my God, I don't have a guaranteed paycheck coming on Friday"—instead, you should think, "I don't have a guaranteed paycheck coming on Friday, so now I really need to execute this plan to the best of my ability to supplement my income". Once you're able to do that, you can repeat the process. As you get better at it, that's when the shift starts to happen. Instead of looking at it as a problem, you start to look at it as an advantage.

The way I see it, I'm glad that someone else isn't controlling the amount of money I make, because that's something I can decide. I can decide how much work I want to do, and what things I want to do in order to generate the amount of income that I want for that particular week; rather than it being governed by someone else. That's the difference between having a growth mind-set rather than a fixed mind-set.

How To Sell More With One Little Change

How To Sell More With One Little Change

The Law of Contrast tells us that the perception of something changes the moment it's compared to something else.

The human mind loves comparison.

It's one of the primary ways that me make sense of information.

And the formula is pretty simple.

A piece of information is introduced to the mind.

The mind compares that information to other information that it has received in the past and then makes it's analysis.

For example let's say you're thinking of buying a new pair of sneakers that cost $79.

You really like them and you know they'll look great with some outfits that you already have.

The question is: "Are they worth $79?"

Actually the better question is "What does that figure of $79 mean to you?"

Because let's face it. The price of everything is subjective.

Especially when it comes to sneakers. Most sneakers sold by Nike  cost over 80 bucks and probably were made for less than 10.

So back to the 79 dollar figure.

With nothing to compare it to, you'll form an opinion about that number.

Now imagine that you walked into the same store and saw a price tag that said $129 on sale for $79.

Now that same figure of $79 looks much cheaper even though it's the same as it was before.

This is often why on infomercials we see an offer, a price and then another offer.

"But wait, if you call now, we'll double the offer. That means you'll get 2 widgets for the price of one."

In marketing we call this bonus stacking.

You make an offer. Say one widget for $19.99.

You give the prospect a few minutes to absorb that offer and then you "sweeten the deal" by offering another widget for the same price.

This makes the offer look more appealing to the customer as opposed to just offering the 2 widgets from the get go.

Maybe this intrigues you.

Or maybe you're thinking "Yeah no shit Paul. I know this already. I've seen it a hundred times."

Fair enough.

What's basically happened is through repeated exposure you're now conscious of the comparison taking place in your mind.

But what about when it happens subconsciously and you have absolutely no clue?

Make no mistake. It is happening. All the time.

Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely is a great read for anyone interested in knowing how the human mind works and what makes people tick.

In his book Dan sites an interesting ad he found on the web.

Basically there are 3 offers.

Offer #1 - Internet only subscription for $59

Offer #2 - Print only subscription for $125

Offer #3 - Print and Internet subscription for $125

Who in their right mind would take offer #2 which is print only when you can get print and Internet for the same price (if you want print that is).

Was this a typo? Maybe an oversight?

No.

What we have here are a group of smart marketers who understand how the human mind relies on comparison and using it to their advantage.

Let me explain.

The majority of people do not know what they want until they see it in context.

We don't know what kind of makeup or underwear we want until we see Drew Barimore or David Beckham showing us what they use.

We don't know which pair of jeans we like best until we try on a pair Diesel and compare them to the Lee's that we used to wear.

Most people don't even know what career path they want to take until they see what a friend or relative is doing and how successful they are.

Everything in life relative.

In the case of the subscription offer the marketers know that thinking about which option (print or Internet only) can be a pain the ass for most people.

Especially since we are cognitive misers looking to reserve most of our thought energy for the stuff that's really important.

So what do they do? They make it a no-brainer.

They structure the offer with the intention to sell #3 from the beginning by making offers 1 and 2 look less desirable.

This is why I like Dan Ariely.

This guy is a fan of science not theory.

So he took the same options and offered them to 100 students at MIT's Sloan School of Management.

His results were as follows:

1. Internet-only subscription for $ 59 — 16 students took this offer.
2. Print-only subscription for $ 125 — zero students took this offer.
3. Print-and-Internet subscription for $ 125 — 84 students too this offer.

These results indicate that the strategy of placing a "decoy" (as Dan calls it) which is option number 2 does in fact move people toward option number 3.

But he wanted to be sure so he ran the study again.

This time he removed the "decoy" and only offered option #1 (Internet only for $59) and option #3 (print and Internet for $125).

The result?

This time 68 students chose option #1 (Internet only for $59) and only 32 chose the combo option for $125, down 84 from before.

In business this translates to about $2,500 in loss.

And from what? The removal of the decoy.

Here's the deal.

You may not agree with these  findings.

You may think you're immune to this type of irrationality.

That's your call.

But for God's sake DON'T be foolish enough to think the rest of the world (including your potential customers) are as well.

Instead embrace this reality and utilize it by somehow always having something to compare your offer to which makes it look more appealing.

Remember no matter how you hard you try you can't help but see this circle differently when you look at it in each picture even though it's the same size in both pictures.

That's how the human mind uses comparison 😉

 

Five Keys To Mind Reading

Five Keys To Mind Reading

# 1 Learn to Read the Signs

Body language works so well because you are accessing the deepest emotions and thoughts of others by reading their physical expressions. People have an inborn tendency to express themselves through gestures and facial expressions – we can’t modify this tendency any more than we can modify the fact that we have opposable (not sure that's a word but I'm sticking with it) thumbs.

But it takes more than just being observant to be able to effectively read body language. To be able to understand what the other person is really trying to say to you, you must be able to read gestures and expressions in clusters.

For example, if a person suddenly frowned, does it mean that he dislikes you? That singular expression, taken out of context and its gesture cluster, is meaningless because you won’t be able to associate it with other gestures.

You have to find associated expressions and gestures to make a valid interpretation of what’s in front of you at the moment. If you read isolated expressions and base your decisions and words on those isolated expressions, you may not be able to influence the other person because you keep missing what he’s really trying to convey.

A body language cluster is similar to a verbal sentence. And like a verbal sentence, a nonverbal sentence needs at least three elements to work. So before making a conclusion, you need to link at least three distinct body language signals coming from the other person.

You also need to determine if the signals you are picking up are actually related. For example, if the other person crossed his arms, frowned and suddenly had a bad coughing fit, do you think the last part was related to the first two parts of the nonverbal message?

You can hone your ability to read other people’s body language by watching movies and turning off the sound. Your sensitivity to body language will become heightened as your brain works double time to interpret the body language of the actors and actresses in the movie. You can also observe people when you are in the mall or in the park.

# 2 Look for Consistency Between Nonverbal Language & Verbal Language

How will you know if the other person has already been persuaded or influenced? Check for congruence between what he’s saying and what he’s expressing (unknowingly) through his body language.

Most people don’t realize that the bulk of their message is contained in nonverbal language, so they keep their guard down when it comes to expressing themselves physically.

People are very guarded about what they say but they don’t know how to conceal what their facial expressions and physical gestures convey. This is one of the biggest advantages of master influencers who are adept in both verbal communication and nonverbal communication.

You would be able to monitor both channels of communication and check if the other person is confidently expressing the same thing through both channels.

If the person in front of you is saying “I believe you” but his body language is saying “I don’t believe a word you’re saying” then you may have to uncover the hidden objections and counter these objections to be able to influence the other person.

You can also use this technique to see if you have been able to establish rapport with your audience. Verbal responses are easy to ‘fake’ especially when the audience is trying its best to be polite. But what if you really want to know if the audience is responding to your message?

Again, all you have to do is to look at your audience’s body language. If your audience is showing signs of being distracted or distant, you may not be making a full impact on your audience at all.

In such cases, you have to stop and re-evaluate what you should do next because what you are doing at the moment is not having a very beneficial effect on your social interaction. A master influencer must move fast when he detects in-congruence between what is being said and what is being expressed through the face and the body.

If you move quickly enough, you may be able to change the course of the social interaction and create a lasting positive impression on the other party.

# 3 Read Nonverbal Messages In Context

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary has two definitions for the word context:
1. The parts of a discourse that surrounds a word or passage and can throw light on its meaning.
2. The interrelated conditions in which something exists or occurs.

Interestingly enough, the word itself was derived from two Latin words: “com” and “texere” which literally meant ‘to weave’. This reveals to us that language in itself is meaningless without context.

You can’t make sense of words (verbal or otherwise) if you don’t see the context in which the words were spoken. Nonverbal messages must also be read and understood within their proper contexts. For example, if the other party suddenly shivered in front of you, does it mean that what you were saying actually spooked the other party?

If you read the gesture/expression in isolation, you may come up with that conclusion (i.e. you are a scary speaker, indeed). But if you look at other potential causes of the behavior, you will be able to come up with a more informed conclusion as to what the other person is really trying to say.

Not all body language signals are significant (the same way that not all our words are groundbreaking and important). You also have to be able to sift through the mess of expressions coming from the other party and trace the ones that are relevant to the matter at hand.

As a master influencer it is also important to analyze gestures based on the possibility that they may be habitual expressions of the other person. If a gesture is habitual, it may be meaningless because the other person does it just because he finds the gesture/expression nice or desirable.

Some people flick their hands back and forth while talking (regardless of what they are feeling about the idea on the table) while some smile broadly even if they disagree wholeheartedly with what the other person is saying.

You have to be extra careful when reading nonverbal messages in this type of situation because you might not be able to detect and resolve objections to your argument if you don’t even understand the actual message that the other person is trying to convey.

# 4 Small Gestures and Expressions Are Equally Important

Some people make the mistake of ignoring small gestures because they think that in the grand scheme of things, the small things are irrelevant. Well, I’m here to tell you right now that nothing could be further from the truth.

Oftentimes, the most essential gestures are performed at a very small scale and at high speed. Some adults can be guarded/defensive about what they say and what they convey with their physical gestures and expressions unlike kids who are still developing the gestures that would later be part of their repertoire of signals in adulthood.

Here’s a good example: have you ever seen a child tell a small lie? Like who ate the last cookie in the jar? Notice that most kids (usually those who are younger than 5) will try to cover their mouths as they say “no, I didn’t eat the cookie”.

The mouth-covering gesture is a sign that the other party is telling a lie. In adulthood, the mouth-covering gesture is scaled down and is done at high speed.

A teenager or adult who is telling a lie may suddenly touch the rim of the mouth for a second before speaking. The small, insignificant movement is actually the same full
blown mouth-covering gesture used by small children. It has only been scaled down so it won’t be so obvious.

The mouth covering gesture can also be performed in such a way that it’s not apparent that the other person is trying to cover his mouth. For example, a person may touch the tip of his nose with his index fingers (hands are clasped) so it would appear that he’s just trying to scratch an itchy nose.

Blinking is also another micro-signal that you should watch out for. Unnatural blinking during a conversation usually means that the other person is hiding something from you.

Persuasion would be difficult if the other person has not laid down all of his cards on the table. In such cases you would need to draw out the other person even more to get to the bottom of the situation.

# 5 Separate Fake Nonverbal Signals From Genuine Signals

I’ve been asked this question many times in the past: is it possible to actually fake body language? The simple answer is yes it’s possible to fake body language but it would take a very long time before a person can control all of the macro and micro signals given off by the body during social interactions.

You see, we can only control a very small percentage of all the body signals that we give out when we speak to someone. You can smile, but if you absolutely dislike what is in front of you then your body will immediately work to reflect this truth.
People who make it a habit to deceive people usually fake most signals successfully – but not all. There are still many nonverbal signals that we have no control over and as a master influencer, it’s your job to catch these signals.

It’s hard to fake body when the receiver of the signals is a woman because women are generally more perceptive than males. Males on the other hand, can learn to be more perceptive so they don’t become easy prey to con men and other deceptive individuals.

How can you be more perceptive? You have to be able to separate the real signals from the fake signals. For example, if the other person is nodding and smiling at what you are saying and is expressing "I like what I’m hearing", you may want to check the cheeks and eye region.

A genuine smile is relaxed and makes the corners of the eyes crinkle a little. The cheeks would also be relaxed to accommodate the movement of the mouth muscles. This is a genuine smile and it conveys pleasure, agreement or happiness. A fake smile is limited to the mouth region only.

The eyes and cheeks are often stiff and non-expressive. It is possible to fake body language but you would have to be a very deceptive person to be able to fake it for long periods of time. The body doesn’t like hiding what is really in the mind, so deceptive people need lots of energy to cover up their body language.

NLP Stuff: Why People Think The Way They Do

NLP Stuff: Why People Think The Way They Do

People process information differently and consequently, they also provide unique responses or reactions to interactions and situations.

You always have to keep in mind that a person may or may not produce the reaction that you were hoping for during a conversation. In addition to factors like beliefs, we must also take into consideration additional response factors like meta programs and personal values.

A meta program is essentially a pattern of behavior. In neuro linguistic programming, meta programs are used to identify existing patterns of behavior and these can also be used to change attitudes and behaviors whenever change is needed.

People have their own meta programs which they use whenever a situation calls for it. A person can have several meta programs and he can use one or two programs at a time if he deems those meta programs appropriate for the situation.

Of course, laymen won’t say that they have any fixed patterns of behavior. But to NLP practitioners, that is simply not true because if people didn’t have any fixed patterns of behavior, it is possible that people would be doing extremely random things on a daily basis.

To understand the concept of meta programs further, let us examine two common meta programs: introversion and extroversion.

An introvert individual has the following characteristics:

- He prefers to be on his lonesome when he feels weary and exhausted from work or any other activity.

- He does not want many friends. He prefers to stick to a few close friends who truly understand what he is all about.

- He may feel very affected when an imagined or actual slight takes place. He may use the slight as proof that the other person is undesirable.

- He has very specific interests and shows mastery of these interests

- He prefers to be alone most of the time

An extrovert individual on the other hand, has a completely different set of characteristics:

- He wants to be around people so that he could feel relaxed and refreshed.

- He acquires lots of friends but does not have any deep connection with any of his friends.

- He may have experienced a slight but he would be willing to overlook the slight. A slight does not mean that his day is ruined.

- Has a broader range of interests but does not aim to have as much knowledge as an introvert.

- He is typically more gregarious.

It is important to remember that meta programs are there because people find them useful. One must not judge a person negatively just because he is more introverted and vice versa.
It is also important to note that an introverted individual may choose to act extroverted in the presence of his closest friends. Inversely, an extroverted individual may feel intimidated by new people and may choose to show his introverted side until he feels more comfortable around new company.

People can use and discard different meta programs throughout the course of the day because meta programs are simply patterns of behavior that help a person adjust to what he believes are pressing changes in his environment.

The second factor that influences how people react to situations and other people is values. Values are taught to us by society (including our family) and we also create our own values as we enter adulthood.

Values are learned and maintained because they give people a semblance of stability in a dynamic and often complex world. Values also help people focus on the things that matter to them the most. Many of our personal values help us.

Sometimes, traumatic events can lead us to create negative values that may have a severe impact in the way we conduct ourselves in real life. These negative values can actually impede a person’s personal and professional growth.

A close re-examination of personal values may be in order if a person thinks that there is something in his way of life that may be blocking him from gaining something really important in his life.

For example, a person who has been extremely devoted to the arts may find himself resistant to the idea of getting a regular job that provides a steady stream of cash. A re-evaluation of the person’s values may be necessary to understand why he doesn’t want to seek a job that would actually support his passion for the arts.

Now, when you are examining your own values or when you are helping another person examine his values in life, it is imperative that you differentiate the various areas of life before enumerating each area’s existing values. You have to be careful with the context of values because the rank/importance of values changes depending on what life area you are focusing on.

You can easily identify and modify values in each area of your life. Here is a modified exercise that will help you analyze if a value in a certain area of your life is impeding you from doing something that you really need to do or may be stopping you from reaching for something that you really want to happen:

1. Ask yourself: what area in my life needs help? What area in my life needs improvement? List down that general area on a piece of paper.

2. List down all the things that you consider important in this area of your life. If you chose work, you may list down things like “getting things done on time”, “being a good sport”, etc. List as many values as you’d like. Just make sure that the things you are listing are really important to you when it comes to this area of your life.

3. After making your list, I want you to re- read the list. Is something missing? If something is missing, feel free to add to the list. Take your time.

4. Rank the values that you have listed down from most important to least important.

5. Re-read the list once again and this time, try to determine if you are making a generalization, distortion or deletion. After categorizing the values that needed to be categorized, ask yourself if these values are stopping you from pursuing something that you want in your life.

Another factor that is worth examining is a person’s beliefs. Beliefs are especially important in the context of neuro-linguistic programming because beliefs directly influence how a person understands the various situations that he faces in his daily life.

If a person has a strong set of beliefs about something, he will do everything to defend those beliefs (if they are being attacked) and he will also make sure that all his actions will reflect all those core beliefs that he holds.

Before a piece of information can be accepted by the human mind as a belief, there has to be some form of validation. Validation can come from the people around you, from society itself or from self- validation through human experiences.

The next factor is attitude. An attitude is defined as “a position assumed for a specific purpose”. Another definition also fits the bill: “an attitude is a mental position with regard to a fact or state”. A person’s attitude is a determinant of his response to specific situations.

Attitudes arise from a concatenation of different factors like behaviors, beliefs, values, etc. Attitudes are also formed from your collective experiences with people and situations. You will be able to detect a person’s attitude toward a situation or object by examining how he speaks and how he acts.

You can help modify a person’s attitude by making direct statements regarding the object that the person is addressing with his attitude. For example, if you have a friend who has been whining for the longest time about the amount of money he is forwarding for taxes, you may want to remind him about countries where tax collection isn’t efficient.

If someone you know is constantly complaining about work at the office, remind that person that the unemployment rate is high and there are many ways to reduce the stress associated with work in the office.

The next factor is the memories that people have. Memories are created by the brain with just one purpose – for retrieval and use in a present or future time. Memories are created with various mental filters; your memory of one event is different from the memory of another person who witnessed the same event.

A person’s memories are used primarily to predict what would happen in a given situation.

For example, if a person has had a bad experience with cheap electric grills, he may anticipate that the electric grill at an outdoor barbecue would break down suddenly while in the middle of a picnic. That is the power of memories.

Again, your memories (like your beliefs and values) can help you move on with life or they can also serve as stop-brakes if the said memories have a lot of negative emotions attached to them. It is important to address negative and traumatic memories so you won’t end up creating limiting beliefs and limiting decisions.

And finally, we have decisions. Decisions are created with the help of values, beliefs and memories. Many of our decisions have helped us create a comfortable state for ourselves and our families. However, there will be times when our own decisions will limit what we deem appropriate or achievable in our lives.

For example, a person who did not go to school may say “I’m an idiot, I didn’t go to school and therefore I would never amount to anything” or “I’m poor now, I was poor then and I will always be poor because my whole family is mired in poverty”.

These limiting decisions can definitely stop a person from pursuing newer avenues of growth and personal excellence. It should be noted there that many of the limiting beliefs and limiting decisions that we have now were not formed consciously.

The conscious mind rarely creates beliefs that directly impede personal growth because it wants the self to develop and progress. The subconscious mind on the other hand, can sometimes create negative beliefs based on the emotions and thoughts that it is receiving.

The subconscious mind does not want to sabotage any person; but it can’t help creating limiting beliefs and limiting decisions if it is receiving a lot of negative affirmations and negative thoughts in the first place.