Author Archives: Paul Mascetta

How To Subliminally Influence Someone With Breathing

August 12, 2012 0 comments

Breathing is of utmost importance to communicators! People don’t know that the nexus of their power as communicators lies not in their vocal chords but in their lungs. Proper breathing during conversations and presentations can really have wonderful, positive impact on the way you influence people. Now, how can one breathe better even when one has to talk to people for long periods of time?

The secret of great breathing during active speech is breathing from the stomach. You may have heard of martial arts masters who advocate deep, rhythmic breathing – they were right.

The better you breathe the more creative and energetic you become. You have to remember that without adequate oxygen, the brain cannot function well. You need to feed the brain the only fuel it really needs – oxygen!

If you haven’t paid much attention to how you have been breathing these past few years, it’s time to do a personal checkup. Observe how you breathe right now. Is your chest the prime mover whenever you breathe in? If it is the prime mover, then you are doing shallow chest breathing.

That means you are not using the full capacity of your lungs when you’re talking. To counter this bad breathing pattern, visualize that you have a balloon in your stomach and this balloon is inflating whenever you breathe.

Transfer the effort of breathing in and breathing out to this balloon so that your diaphragm will take care of the changes in the air pressure. The chest should only be the secondary mover during inhalation and exhalation.

Also, try to keep your back straight so your abdominal region will be free to expand and contract when you’re breathing. Also, remember to breathe through your nose.

The nose was designed to clean the air that is entering the lungs. Breathing through the nose also helps people breathe more deeply, even during rigorous exercise.

Choose the In-Breath

We all know that we inhale and exhale all the time. But did you know that you can actually utilize the regular movement of air from your lungs to speak more convincingly?

Most people talk when they are exhaling air from their lungs. The result? They feel tired and weary almost immediately after a few minutes. This is the normal consequence if you speak during the out-breath because the body loses even more oxygen when you speak (the lungs are forced to let go of more air).

To illustrate how the in-breath and the out- breath affects your thinking, I’d like you to do a little exercise form. I want you to imagine a red apple. Now, during an exhalation, I want you to describe that apple for me. Take note of the appearance of the apple in your mind’s eye.

Take notes if you have to. After that, I want you to inhale and do the same. What did you notice about the appearance of the same imagined apple in your mind’s eye?

Did the appearance of the apple change during the in-breath? Nine times out of ten, you probably saw a dark and wrinkled apple during the out-breath and a fresh, crisp apple during the in-breath.

There are some variations in the appearance but most people would say that the imaginary apple looked its best during the in-breath. The reason for this is that during the in-breath we feel fresh, relaxed and creative because the brain is receiving lots of oxygen. That’s what we want to tap into when you are expressing yourself.

Rhythmic breathing from the stomach can really bring out your best ideas and your best body language. Also, you need to start talking during the in-breath. It might take some practice, but you will be able to do it naturally after a short period of time.

Talking during the in-breath will ensure that your ideas and body language will be excellent during a conversation or presentation. When you start talking during the in-breath, you will feel good and your audience will see that you are relaxed and confident about what you are saying.

Eventually, you will be able to establish rapport or harmony with your audience. Your audience will begin to match your movements and even your breathing pattern.

This mirroring is unconscious or subliminal in nature. Your audience won’t even know that they are copying the way you breathe!

A Sneaky Little Way To Deal With Naysayers

August 10, 2012 0 comments

The worst thing that could happen to you when you are trying to persuade someone is for that person to say “no” to everything that you say. And let’s face it – there are many individuals who are experts in saying no to people.

Don’t worry – there is actually a language pattern that can help you win in this kind of situation. This hypnotic language pattern focuses on reducing the resistance of the subject to your ideas by forcing agreement at every turn.

How does this work? Well, think about it: people generally don’t like it when people disagree with them. With the agreement pattern, you will agree with a point while at the same time adding your point at the end.

The hypnotic language pattern itself is quite simple:

“I agree with (A) and would add (B)”

This pattern only has three essential elements but it is an extremely powerful pattern that can be used in a variety of situations (like the redefining pattern).

Here’s a quick example:

“I agree that this new product is pricier than its counterparts and would like to add that it has extremely useful features that is not offered by any of the existing competitors”

You can also combine the redefining pattern and the agreement pattern to create an ultra-persuasive pattern that will knock your subject’s socks off:

“I agree that this new product is pricier than its counterparts and would like to add that the issue here is not the price of the product but how much time it will save you in just a few months’ time and how much more profit you are going to rake in by using this product which I may add is being offered at 30% discount to you by our good company”

You might be wondering: does this mean that I have to say yes to everything that the other person says?

Well, you do have to agree with the other person but you don’t have to agree with anything he has said that you don’t like. Or you can just agree with something else just so you can include the agreement pattern in your dialog.

If you don’t agree with anything that the person has just said, you can always just agree that he just said something to you.

This may sound a little odd but it can work. Here’s an example: “I agree that you have just lambasted my business and would add that only someone with the least amount of professional experience would say that”.

A lot of people would react to the fact that I just called someone an amateur with a statement. What good would the agreement pattern do if I just questioned someone’s professional experience?

Well, it’s better to agree with people than to disagree with them. People are universally hardwired to get along with others who agree with them (even if the agreement doesn’t benefit them at all).

Agreement frames are excellent during arguments and heated debates because it actually defuses other people’s defenses automatically. If someone agrees with you, your brain will automatically lower its defenses.

But if someone disagrees with you, all your logical and creative defenses are up and you are ready to fight tooth and nail to defend your position (even if it is wrong).

That’s just how the human brain works. It’s not manipulation or being a controlling person at all. We’re just taking advantage of the fact that people love hearing agreement.

Under normal circumstances, people don’t usually need to point out that someone lacks professional experience (or competence, at that).
Most of the time, you just have to show the other person that there is another way of viewing or analyzing a particular issue:

“I agree that you just disagreed with my point earlier about real fur coats and I would add that there are many ways of analyzing the fur trade issue and your take is just one of many”

You have to be careful when using “but” and “and” in your agreement pattern sentences.

Normally what people do is they agree with someone and follow up their agreement with a “but”. The word “but” is universally understood in the English-speaking world as a sign of disagreement.

Remember the rules of positives and negatives? When you combine a negative element and positive element the result will always be negative.

Therefore, if you say something nice in the beginning but you follow that up with the word “but” the recipient of the message will automatically know that you are about to disagree with him.

It doesn’t matter how nice you were when you said the affirmative/supportive part of the statement. You are still clearly disagreeing with the other person because you used “but”.

Now compare the impact of a statement that uses the word “and” instead of “but”:

Statement # 1

“I agree that the new project is over-budget but I would like to add that everyone was doing everything they can to stay on budget”

Statement # 2

“I agree that the new project is over-budget and would like to add that everyone was doing everything they can to stay on budget”

Notice that the second statement was affirmative throughout. The first statement sounded like it was making an excuse for being over-budget. No one likes excuses.

An excuse often feels like a slap to the face which is why it is universally disliked.

Would you want to sound like you were trying to make an excuse while you were trying to persuade someone? Most probably not – so as much as possible avoid using but when using the agreement pattern.

How To Redefine A Person's Thoughts

August 10, 2012 0 comments

The redefine is a special hypnotic language pattern that can be used to shift the attention of the other person to another topic.

As you can already imagine, this can be an extremely effective way to persuade someone to listen to your side of the story. This language pattern can also be used when you feel that the current topic is becoming a little offensive or uncomfortable.

Without knowledge of any similar language pattern it can be very difficult to shift the attention of someone from the current topic and you can end up having to sustain a conversation that has a really bad subject matter.

How can you apply this particular pattern?

Here are a few examples:

You can use it when you are debating or arguing with another person and the other person is really pressing on with a particular issue.

The redefining pattern can also be used when you are trying to sell a product or idea to someone. The redefine can be used when a person comes up with an objection to what you are offering at the moment. That way, the other person won’t be able to pursue and develop the objection anymore.

This hypnotic language pattern can also be used in situations where you have to train or teach other people. Often, trainers face the challenge of having to deal with distracted participants. This language pattern can help bring back people to what you were really talking about in the first place in the event that the target issue is sidelined by members of a group.

When you are attracted to someone and you want to lead the other person to some other topic/issue (preferably one that would benefit you as an ardent admirer).

Now that you are more or less aware of just how powerful this language pattern can be when it comes to expressing the right ideas and persuading other people, let’s look at the basic template or formula for a redefine:

The issue at hand is not (A), it is really (B) and that means (C)

Pay close attention to the arrangement of the words and the three major elements of this language pattern (A, B & C). The first element smoothly connects with the existing issue; this creates a seamless connection between the redefine statement and the last statement of the other person.

However, as you reach the first element (is not A), the current issue is negated and a new issue is quickly introduced (it is really B). The new issue is further imposed on the conversation through the third element (and that means C).

This pattern might look like a tongue twister in the beginning, but it’s really easy to use.

How Simplicity Boosts Persuasiveness

June 26, 2012 0 comments

When people think about persuasion and influence, the first thing that usually comes to mind is that there has to be this grand effort to dazzle the subject or audience to speed up the persuasive process.

People start to think of ways that they can make things bigger and grander than before. Well, two recent studies show that this isn’t really the case and when you make things more complicated than it should be, the effort you make will actually backfire on you.

One particular study conducted by researcher Michael Wanke and his colleagues sheds light on the issue of complexity and simplicity in advertising. In their study, they presented two kinds of advertisements to their test subjects. One advertisement asked their respondents to give ten reasons why they would choose brand A.

The second advertisement asked the respondents to give just one reason why they should choose brand B. The study made use of two very popular brands (BMW and Mercedes Benz). Interestingly enough, those who were given the BMW-leaning advertisement were less likely to choose BMW over Mercedes Benz.

Why did this happen in the first place? The reason is actually quite simple – people had a hard time thinking of ten reasons why they should choose BMW instead of a Mercedes Benz. Since people are usually unwilling to expend a lot of cognitive resources unless extremely necessary, they will veer away from something that appears more complicated than it should be.

So if asking people reasons why they should choose something that you are offering will backfire on you, how can you use this strategy to your advantage? Simple – ask your audience two give you reasons why they should choose your competitors over you.

I can assure you than only a handful of your audience will be able to give you a really significant answer. The rest of your audience will probably freeze in place and just choose you because they weren’t able to produce a sufficient number of reasons why they should opt for your competitor and not you.

Of course, this technique would only work if you have already show the audience the value of what you are offering in the first place. If your audience is unaware of how great your service/idea/product is, they would probably just say that they have had experienced what your competitor has to offer and they don’t know anything about you at all.

Another study enforces the message of “keep it simple”. This study, spearheaded by researchers Alter and Oppenheimer, focused on how simplicity of names can actually spell the difference between success and failure in the stock market.

What these researchers found out was that the fluency of the name of a particular company had a bearing on how successful it would be in the stock market.

What this shows is the fact that when you start ignoring simple and powerful language, you lose out on the opportunity to have more influence over your audience or your market. I’m not saying that everything is hinged on the name of a project, but if you can make a project or contract sound simple and powerful, do it.

Researchers have also discovered that the kind of language that you choose to use is also of paramount importance when interacting with other people. Many books on influence recommend that you use authoritative language when you talk to others, so that your public projection would be better received by your audience.

If you are a programmer and you are dealing with fellow programmers and people from the same field, it is alright to use specialized jargon.

But if you come from a particular field like medicine or aeronautics and you use your specialized jargon on people who are not part of your field, the tendency is for people to ignore you and deem your entire message as less convincing because it is difficult to understand.
This might not sound fair at all especially to people who genuinely want to share their knowledge with the rest of the world. However, we must contend with this reality if we are to make any headway when we talk to non-experts.

Another thing: it has been found that when a person talks in a very specialized language or jargon, he is perceived to be less competent by non-experts.

Again this sounds absurd (that’s what experts are for, right?) but trusts me – it is far better to adjust how you communicate than to try to force people to accept your input.

Remember, you are in the business of influencing and persuading other people. It doesn’t matter if you have 3 Ph.Ds. – if people don’t understand you and they don’t even recognize that you are giving expert opinion because of your complex language, you will not be persuasive at all.

This problem with complicated language is present even in the academe and is also perceived as a problem in the workplace. For example, a Stanford University research showed that more than eighty five percent of student respondents in one study admitted that they purposefully used more complicated language in their academic papers just to sound that they knew more than the next person.

They did it to impress – but as we already know, if language is too complicated, it might backfire on the speaker instead. In yet another study, more than fifty five percent of employee respondents based in the United Kingdom reported that they had trouble understanding what their managers wanted them to do because the language was not clear enough.

As you can see, this communication gap can cause a lot of problems especially in a workplace because if the upper management and the regular employees are not communicating well, they are not going to accomplish a significant amount of work in the shortest time possible. What would result is a back-and-forth of messages that would slow down any project and may even cause friction between the management and the employees.

The Little Things That Make a Master Influencer Shine, Part 2

June 26, 2012 0 comments

Masters of influence are ordinary people who devote a portion of their time to discovering new ways to communicate with people on a level that allows them to gain compliance with the last amount of effort.

If you have ever felt that you needed to learn how to harmonize with people so that they would agree with your ideas more often, then you are in luck.

Today’s discussion will focus on the simple ways that will vastly improve your ability to persuade and influence others when you engage in social interactions.

We have touched upon these special tactics in a previous discussion. Today, we go full circle as we explore the final set of tactics that will separate you from all the other aspiring influencers who have yet to chance upon the most essential ideas of influence and persuasion.

Tactic # 1: Never Overpromise

In almost every field and industry, overpromising is so common that people have become wary when a new face promises something valuable or useful.

Organizations and companies probably have their hearts set on the right path when they begin promising things to their customers. The problem with this scenario is the Overpromising Problem. When a company overpromises, what it produces in return is often inadequate to fulfill what it has promised.

What results is often disappointment and mistrust. Why would a person trust a company that does not produce what it has really promised? Let this scenario be a dire reminder to all aspiring influencers – when you promise something to someone, make sure that you over-deliver so the other party would feel valued.

If a person feels valued, he will be loyal to you and he will go to great lengths to work with you. Also, do not overpromise at all. Don’t promise something so great that the subject will have such a high expectation that you run into the risk of under-delivering.

Under-promising is a much better option. Promise average results and then over-deliver. Your subject will be pleasantly surprised and he will view your under-promising as a sign of professionalism and integrity.

People who are only in it ‘for the money’ will never under promise because they would be too afraid of losing profit. If you want to be truly successful in any endeavor and in any field, focus on generating amazing results instead of fabricating promises that you won’t be able to fulfill.

Tactic # 2: Valued Associations Are Important

When it comes to persuasion and influence, peer pressure can actually be a good thing. Why? Because the impact of peer pressure on people does not stop when they cease from going to school. Peer pressure actually becomes a part of our cultural makeup as we enter adulthood.

It might not become a very prominent part of how we think but it’s still there and in opportune moments, it manifests because we know deep down that social relations and associations are vital to our success.

You can utilize this tendency to associate oneself with specific groups to your advantage. Instead of isolating the subject (e.g. you will gain an advantage) say something like “by cashing in on this offer, you will get the same benefits that ___________ have”.

The core idea here is that you have to identify the group of people that the subject likes, emulates or admires. Then you have to find a common link between what you are offering and this group of people.

If you cannot identify a group that matters to the subject now, think of a group of people that may have the same values as the subject and then link your offer to that group. The subject must be able to understand that by accepting your offer, he is becoming like the group that you are describing.

You have to sell the idea of the group first before selling the idea that your offer has a lot to do with how the group is succeeding in a particular manner right now. It can be difficult at first, but I’m sure you will be able to find the right group to associate with.

Tactic # 3: Create the Passion

Some aspiring influencers have a lot of plans but not a lot passion to seek out the steps that will enable them to reach their goals. Often, the problem lies in the fact that the influencer has no idea which parts of his life is contributing to his goals and which elements are obstructing the road to his goals.

If you feel that you are suffering from this exact same problem, what you can do is to engage in goal brainstorming. The idea behind goal brainstorming is to identify your most important goals and picking out the elements in your life that are directly contributing to the accomplishment of these goals.

By doing this, you will also begin to see what is hindering you from accomplishing more at the present time. If you identify people that are blocking your part to personal or professional fulfillment, you can begin dissociating yourself from these people because nothing good will come from your continued association with them.

You will also be able to see which activities and attitudes are helping and which are not. Goal brainstorming can be viewed as a way to improve your life direction in general.

Will it help you become persuasive or influential? Of course. By setting the right goals and seeing things clearly for the first time, you will be energized to explore and take risks. These are the two main catalysts to personal change and progress. You will also be able to evaluate whether you should engage in specific interactions or not.

For example, if you want to accomplish something big, the results of your goal brainstorming will show you which people you should be involving in your drive to accomplish something and which people should be left out because they will only become obstacles to your success.

The Little Things That Make a Master Influencer Shine, Part 1

June 26, 2012 0 comments

The world of influence is filled with countless brilliant ideas and strategies. Unfortunately, only a handful of people will have the luxury of time to test different theories to see which ones are most effective. But don’t worry – that’s what I’m here for: I’m the one doing all the testing so you will be able to apply only the best techniques from this particular field.

In today’s exploration of influence and persuasion, we are going to talk about the “little things” that have a deep effect on an influencer’s impact on his subjects. You see, not all influence or persuasion techniques are big and complex.

Some tactics are simple and relatively easy to follow even if the one trying out the tactics isn’t devoted to the art of influence/persuasion. Look around and see which tactics would help you achieve persuasion more easily in the future.

Tactic # 1: Laugh and Don’t Bury Yourself in Tension

I know it’s old and overused but I’m saying it anyway: laughter is the best medicine. Before you hit me over the head with “everyone knows that”, let me explain myself: laughter is the antidote for even the most pressured situations.

Laughter helps release endorphins (the body’s natural painkillers) and also helps ease stress and tension. So whenever you feel that a conversation is not going as planned, instead of feeling sorry for yourself or angry at the subject, just crack a joke and laugh.

You might be surprised how laughter can ease the pressure in a conversation. Sure, laughter might not help you think of a brilliant comeback after receiving a particularly nasty objection, but what I can promise is that you will feel better after laughing and it will help you think more clearly.

If you want a model for laughter, I suggest that you briefly study small children while they are playing. Children are great models because they laugh so naturally. They don’t need a lot of reasons to laugh – they just do because it feels good! Unlike adults, children don’t have to ‘wait’ before the higher up laughs before laughing.

Children also don’t worry too much about things (which is probably the single biggest reason why they don’t look so weary all the time). Take the time to watch children, too – you might be surprised how they conduct themselves with other children and adults.

Humor is also a great way to convince someone to agree with you even if the communication is not face to face (e.g. communicating through email or text messaging). Start the conversation with a joke and make the subject laugh first before asking something from him. Again, this slight change in your approach can yield better results.

Tactic # 2: Negativity Attracts More Negativity

This is probably one of the most vital life lessons that I can share with you on any occasion. It is so important that I’m even going to share it with you in the context of improving your persuasion skills. The LOA (law of attraction) stipulates that in this universe, like attracts like.

Positive things open the gateway for more positivity while negative things allow more negative stuff to enter your life. If you want to be a truly persuasive and powerful master of influence, you have to start dissociating yourself from people who are bathed in negativity.

Because whether you like it or not, these people will ‘share’ their negativity with you and over time, contact with these people will make your life more difficult than it should be. This applies most especially to professionals who are trying to rise above the rest in a company or organization.

Some people are more likely to be supportive than others. Cherish and support those who contribute positivity in your life and in your efforts to reach your goals. Discard or dissociate your relationships that do not directly contribute to your personal and professional growth.

This might sound easy enough on paper but trust me; it can be difficult when you finally try to apply it in real life because you will discover that some of your oldest friends and acquaintances aren’t actually helping you grow as a person. It is painful (the dissociation process) but trust me, it will help you in the long term.

Tactic # 3: Word Power

We have always lived in a world ruled by signs and language. Having a limited vocabulary can actually stunt your ability to communicate and eventually influence others. If you are not able to express yourself well in any situation, how can you show others that you are an authority and that peoples would do well to pay attention to what you have to say?

Take a look at the politicians and TV personalities that are raking in the big bucks – what do they have in common, apart from their big bank accounts? Probably just one – their ability to speak well. You don’t have to be the most intelligent man/woman in the city to speak well.

Language is a skill – so make sure that you take every opportunity to make yourself more adept in writing and speaking. If you encounter a term that you are not familiar with, don’t rely on contextual clues to understand it. Seek the meaning of the word.

Buy a dictionary or visit dictionary websites to find out what the word means. Build your vocabulary and make an effort to learn the latest jargon (special language) of your own field. This extra effort on your part will ensure that you will always be able to express yourself competently and authoritatively in any situation.

People will notice your prowess in language and they will respect your ability to adequately express yourself whenever you need to. They will also appreciate the fact that when you have an idea in mind, you are able to fully explain your idea in its entirety.

So the next time you talk to someone, try to think of a new word that you have only recently encountered and try to use the word in the conversation. This will help you gain the confidence to start building and using an extended vocabulary on a daily basis.

Expert Strategies for Dealing with Customers, Part 2

June 26, 2012 0 comments

Dealing with customers often frightens even the most seasoned of professionals because it is so easy to commit mistakes along the way. And when the customer walks away, a potential sale is lost and the lost profit is something that most people take very hard, indeed.

While we cannot do anything to change the fact that there will be difficult customers along the way, we can use specific tactics to ensure that you are in the best position to persuade customers to buy when they finally come knocking at your business’ door.

Below are some expert strategies that will help you deal with even the most resistant of customers. Note that not every tactic will work in every situation, so make sure that you plan ahead and that you only use techniques that you think would be appropriate for specific scenarios.

You may have already noticed this but you have probably never associated the concept of laziness with gaining more paying customers for your business.

And yet, laziness is probably the first impulse that kicks in at the back of your customer’s mind when he steps into your office/store to talk to you.

The reason for this laziness is quite simple: humans were designed by nature to take the easiest road possible. Humans don’t like the idea of exerting extra effort if it is not necessary. Sure, some people can work up to 12 hours a day earning extra money, but that doesn’t mean that they would be busting their muscles every minute of the day.

They will take minor shortcuts during their work day to make things easier. So when you are talking to a customer, you need to show that your offer is the best and that you will be the one going the extra mile to make sure that the customer will have a pleasant time doing business with you.

Over delivering is one of the easiest ways to satisfy the laziness impulse of customers. For example, if you say that you will personally deliver something to the customer in an hour or two, that takes away the need to drive all the way to your location to pick up what was purchased.

This gives the customer the idea that your business is better than all the other similar businesses in your area because you go the extra mile for your customers.

Sometimes, it is not enough to just showcase all of the benefits of your offer. This might not motivate your customer enough to get him to buy. The problem lies not in your ability to relate the benefits of your offer but rather, in the customer’s ability to imagine the risks associated with not accepting your offer.

If all your efforts at showcasing the various benefits of your offer have not worked, it’s time to change the strategy. Instead of highlighting all of the things that the customer will get by accepting your offer and buying something from you, enumerate all of the risks associated with not accepting your offer.

This might sound a little risky in itself because you will be presenting something negative but at the same time it just might be the one emotional trigger that the customer has been waiting for to make that final decision.

If the customer is really capable of buying something from you, then he would find no other objection to your offer. But if he is just there to ‘look around’ then he must be relegated to the “80” group and given to your competitors (so your competitors can deal with the difficult customer, not you).

Of course, this tactic will require a lot of brainstorming on your part because you can’t just state minor risks to your customer. You have to be prepared to lay down the different ways that your customer will experience inconvenience or even profit loss if he doesn’t accept your offer.

Don’t fabricate these risks. The risks have to be real and severe enough to jolt your customer into action. If you are not an expert in memorizing long arguments, writing down notes will help. It doesn’t hurt to write down important notes during a conversation and if it helps you get a sale, do it.

In some instances, a customer will take longer to decide because there are several tasks involved before he can make the final decision.

If you establish rapport/harmony with your customer, the logical next step is to help box out timeframes for your customer. For example, if your customer has to fill in paperwork and then consult with his manager before he gets back to you, you can say something like “So to speed things up, I think you should get started on some basic paperwork this week so we can both talk to your manager around the end of the week. Then by early next week, we would have a done deal already.” This of course is only a sample statement. I’m sure you get the picture.

People generally don’t want to talk ahead in a conversation especially if something is being offered or sold to them. This tendency can be extremely problematic to a professional who is not getting enough feedback to evaluate the effectiveness of his own sales techniques.

The best way to get someone to talk (even if he does not want to talk) is to ask questions. You have to break the ice – you can’t sit there talking for two hours without getting any feedback at all from your customer.

Doing so will probably ruin your chances of making a sale because you have no idea what is going on in your customer’s mind. Asking a simple question like “what are you thinking about now?” can help draw out objections into the open so you can deal with them.

Remember: if objects are hidden, you can’t deal with them. Don’t be afraid to ask for any problems that the customer perceives. Welcome these problems through active listening and then propose relevant solutions.

Expert Strategies for Dealing with Customers, Part 1

June 26, 2012 0 comments

Customers are obviously the life of a business – but what happens when a business owner starts crumbling when he needs to convince a customer to see things his way?

Today’s discussion will focus on specific tactics that can be used in business/sales settings. Feel free to experiment with these techniques regardless of the mode of communication (e.g. phone conversation, live dialog, text messaging, etc.). The important thing here is that you are able to apply the techniques and learn something new about how to deal with customers on a daily basis.

The first lesson that I am going to share with you today is quite simple: people decide based on what their internal gauges are telling them. You have your own internal gauges.

Your customer has his own gauges. You might feel that you are already offering the best deal in the world but that doesn’t matter in the conversation at all because what you need is a sale.

Each person has his own way of measuring advantages, benefits and risks. While it is true that you can invest a lot of time trying to explain away the risks, the sale won’t happen if you are not paying attention to the customer’s feedback.

So if you think the customer does not appreciate the benefits, you have to ask a string of questions to draw out the hidden objections. Only then would you be able to supply the information needed to ‘change the readings’ of the customer’s internal gauges.

The 2nd lesson concerns the USP or your Unique Selling Proposition. What do you have to offer your customers that would make you stand out from all the rest? What can you bring the table that two hundred other competitors still haven’t brought to the table themselves?

Dig deep and figure out how you can make yourself unique and special and I can assure you – your customers will gradually change their perception of you and the business that you represent.

If you don’t change, I cannot even guarantee that they would try to change their perception of your business. And why would they? You haven’t change at all – why should they even change their mind if you are not offering something fresh and positive?

The 3rd lesson is all about choosing the right customers. We all know that a customer is only useful to a business if he actually does business with you and he openly shows that he values whatever you are offering. If a customer is happy to do business with you and is a repeat customer, he belongs to the “20” group or the upper 20% of the customers that your business has had the pleasure to have.

If a customer always complains and constantly becomes a burden to deal with, he probably belongs to the “80” group of 80% of the problematic people that every business has to contend with if they want to survive. Face it – not all customers are angels.

You are eventually going to meet a bunch of customers that are simply not worth your time. Don’t worry – these customers will have a use. Send them to your competition and let your competition handle these difficult people. Focus your energy and time on the “20” group. Your business would blossom if you do this.

Of course, if you can add more people from the “80” group to the “20” group, that will be favorable because the more paying customers you have, the better.

But sometimes, if a person is too resistant and is too much of a bother, he simply is not worth your time anymore. It’s a hard truth that we all have to deal with. Don’t be afraid to send a customer away especially if the customer becomes too aggressive or resistant to your best efforts.

Now, let’s talk about another problem that businesses have been dealing with since time immemorial: customers who feel that they are entitled to everything just because they are the customers.

Don’t get me wrong – I love customers. I love people who come to me for business opportunities. However, there are times when a customer seems to have prepared for a battle more than anything else when steps up and talks to the business owner.

This is when it gets problematic. What do you do when the customer is aggressive and doesn’t want to compromise with you? My tip for you is quite simple: be brutally honest with the customer. By “brutally honest” I don’t mean that you should be extremely aggressive.

Keep smiling as you talk but make sure that you share the details that you haven’t been sharing before. For example, if the customer is asking for a large discount that you can’t give, explain why you can’t give the discount. If the customer feels that he is entitled to a discount, he is also entitle to a full disclosure of why he can’t get one under certain circumstances.

Today’s final lesson centers on the idea of perception. Your perception of the world, as far as you are concerned, is the totality of reality. Your perception may be close to the perception of the customer but at the same time there will be marked differences because you are completely different people.

Often, it is more productive to adapt the viewpoint of the customer so you can understand why he is talking and behaving in a particular way. Once you get into the shoes of the customer, it would be much easier to explain details and offer relevant solutions. If you want to be relevant, you have to know the customer’s needs.

Again, don’t be afraid to ask questions. If the customer’s needs sound strange to you, have him explain his needs in terms that you can understand.

People appreciate it when a business owner or sales person asks questions instead of assuming what the customer needs. Often, assumptions are wrong because if you are addressing the needs of a single customer, his particular needs will be markedly different from the needs of the next customer.

Covert Persuasion Toolbox, Part 2

June 23, 2012 0 comments

Covert persuasion works extremely well because the influencer would be closely focused on the subject and how the subject responds to different persuasion tactics. In a previous discussion, we focused on the following persuasive tools: questions, attitude, mental images and needs.

In today’s discussion, we are going to delve into more tools and tactics that will help you achieve persuasion or influence more quickly in almost any situation. Bear in mind that not every tactic will work so you still have to plan ahead.

The worst thing you can do as an influencer is to just pull out random strategies and language patterns in the hopes that you will be able to create a miracle out of thin air. Influence and persuasion does not work this way at all.

The more you don’t prepare for a conversation with another person or an important meeting with a large audience, the more likely you are going to fail.

Sure, you can master different tactics but having the tools alone will not guarantee your success. It’s like have a large shed full of brand new power tools. If you don’t know how to choose the right tool and if you don’t know how to use the tool properly, you might end up with a lopsided creation or you might even get hurt using the tool.

The same principle applies to persuasion. There are numerous tools that you can use but every tool has to be used at the right time and at the right place.

Below are two specialized tools of persuasion. Use these tools wisely and make sure that you use specific techniques in the right situations.

Tool # 1: Speed Matters

One of the most effective elements that you can add to any interaction is speed. The speed trigger can be used in almost any situation where the influencer requires a leeway in exchange for something valuable. For example, a salesman might say something like “I will shave $500 off the initial payment and have it delivered to you today. No more additional shipping fees”.

The speed element usually shocks the subject into complying with the request because it’s hard for the human mind to wrap itself around the idea of having something so quickly.

Speed is convenience and happiness rolled into one and all the mind can say is “yes, give it to me!”. This might sound incredibly sneaky (and it is) but it is not unethical at all.

Both the subject and influencer will benefit from the interaction and as the influencer, you are just expediting the transit of the benefit from your side to the subject’s side. The speed element is extremely effective because it can be ‘added on’ to any conversation. Let’s say you need someone to accompany you to the movies.

Instead of sending a message like “Will you go with me to the movies tonight?” you can instead send a more persuasive text message: “Will you watch “The Avengers” with me? I’ll pick you up in half an hour with my new ride”. See the big difference? The element of speed shocks the subject into action and really helps prevent any knee-jerk reactions like “I’m busy tonight”.

Tool # 2: Damage Control

Let’s say that a person that you have just completed a business deal has not come back to do business with you again. When you finally get a hold of the person, he doesn’t want to talk about what happened the last time that he did business with you.

Obviously, something went wrong – why wouldn’t he do business with you again? In situations like this, it is very important for you to perform proper damage control.

It is not enough to just apologize because that does nothing to address the actual cause of the problem. Begin damage control by asking general questions about his experience when he was doing business with you.

Move from general questions to specific questions further down the line. When the subject becomes more open to sharing his thoughts with you, just back down – don’t try to defend yourself or your decisions in the past.

You are at a point where your past decisions have already had an impact on another person’s life, so it would be pointless to explain every decision that led to that point.

The most helpful thing that you can do right now is to just listen. That’s right – sometimes the best solution is to just quiet down and listen intently at what the other person has to say.

People are very emotional especially when it comes successes or losses. A person who has just suffered from a loss will be very sensitive and very defensive and will simply walk away if he thinks that you are not going to be the one providing the solution to his new set of problems.

After listening closely to what the subject has to say (and after jotting down a few important notes), provide some reassurance that you value the subject’s business and you are willing to make things right. This reassurance is the first step to creating a new business relationship with the other person. Sure, not every person will be as forgiving, but it is worth a try.

Provide a solution that you think will solve the subject’s problem. After laying down your new solution, ask the subject if he wants the solution or if he has a better solution in mind. Once again, hear him out. If the solution he has proposed cannot be implemented because it will go against your principles, try to a middle ground.

There is always a middle ground – you just have to work hard to negotiate with the other person. The other person will yield to this middle ground because no one truly likes the idea of walking away with nothing and obviously, as the influencer, you are going to great lengths to offer something of value to the subject.

Covert Persuasion Toolbox, Part 1

June 23, 2012 0 comments

Mastering covert persuasion is not just about memorizing language patterns and improving your body language – it’s also about understanding how people think and behave during social interactions. People are generally more likely to refuse than to say yes because that is the human brain works.

Agreeing to something may cause change and people don’t like change because it disturbs the existing equilibrium. Any disruption of the equilibrium may result in loss of different kinds of resources. It doesn’t matter if a person isn’t sure if he is right in refusing an offer.

He will think of refusing before trying to justify his decision to do so. In this light, you will begin to see just how irrational humans are. I’m not saying that this is a bad thing. There is essentially nothing wrong with following one’s imagination and emotions.

It just so happens that when a person is trying to influence or persuade someone, he turns to logic/rationalism. Do you see the dissonance between how people think and how influencers generally approach the problem of persuading others?

In today’s discussion, we are going to address a number of pressing issues that may affect your ability to persuade others. Sometimes, even the smartest people are unable to persuade others for the simple reason that they don’t know how to get into that persuasive zone where people are more likely to agree than to resist.

Tool # 1: Questions

I have mentioned this countless times before but I am going to repeat it here because it’s so important to the whole persuasive process: learn the fine art of asking questions! The problem I see with most people is that they don’t like the idea of asking questions.

Sure, you can prepare all you want before a conversation but you cannot possibly know everything that you need to know about your subject. It’s easy to hypothesize but in the end, the most accurate source of information would still be the subject.

So before you shy away from asking questions, ask yourself this: how confident are you about your knowledge of your own subject? If your answer to this question is “not very confident” then I invite you to just ask questions.

Try to discover how your subject thinks and what he values most in his work or life. This is pure influence gold – because once you discover what matters the most to a person, you will be able to modify your arguments based on this new information.

Tool # 2: Attitude Counts

Attitude is defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary as the “organismic readiness to respond to a certain stimulus”. A person’s attitude is his pre-configured manner of reacting to specific events in his life.

When you are talking to someone about something that you need, that person would already have a preset attitude and response to what you are requesting. It is your job to determine what this attitude is and you have to break the mental trance that allows this attitude to work during the conversation.

It’s also important to evaluate your own attitude toward the subject and your goal so the subject can emulate your attitude. A mental state can easily be broken by interjecting specific emotional triggers.

You must be able to change the subject’s perception of the object (your goal). Ideally, he should end up taking your goal as his own goal because he will eventually get a benefit/advantage.

Tool # 3: Mental Images

We all know that a person’s imagination is his most powerful thinking tool. A person makes use of his creative imagination more than his logic center because this region of the mind is more malleable and therefore easier to use.

People imagine events that have happened and events that have yet to transpire based on input given by the environment and by other people. If you want your subject to imagine something, avoid using statements “visualize yourself getting A, B, C…”

This approach barely works and people generally don’t want to be told to visualize anything. People like to imagine things but they don’t want to be told to use their imagination to arrive at conclusions.

To avoid this sticky situation, what you can do is to simply ask a series of questions that will trigger an imaginative response from your subject. Let your subject reach his own conclusions. Of course, you will be leading him to these conclusions yourself, by merely asking questions. Let his imagination do the rest.

Tool # 4: Discover What He Wants

People often know what they do not want to get from a given situation but are often reluctant to say what they do want. It might sound strange but this does happen a lot so we just have to deal with this tendency.

One way around this elusiveness trap is by asking questions like “I know that you are not sure about what you want right now, but if you did know what you like, can you describe it to me?”

To a person who is not involved in the conversation, this question will seem redundant and pointless, but to a subject who doesn’t want to share all of his thoughts to another person, this question is a safe way out. But little will your subject know that when he does answer this question, he is allowing the influencer to look inside his mind.

And when you get that glimpse of what the other person might want to get out of the interaction, you can devise alternative solutions to get him to say yes to you.

Sometimes, indirect questions are more helpful than direct questions especially when the subject is clear that he does not want to fully cooperate with the influencer.

After gaining insight as to what kind of benefit your subject wants to get from the interaction, you can then lead him to accept the type of benefit you are offering. Make your subject want the advantage that you are offering. You can tie it up with his goals or you can just say that your offer will make him achieve a different kind of goal.

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