People usually go through life thinking that they have to be perfect in order to be truly persuasive and influential. While it might sound logical to want to be perfect, recent studies show that admitting little faults can actually help you create an image of trustworthiness and credibility.

How is this possible? A study spearheaded by Gerd Bohner sheds light on the idea of using faults to boost one’s public image and acceptability. In Bohner’s study, three advertising campaigns were created to test the effectiveness of admitting faults in boosting the appeal of a restaurant to newer patrons.

The first advertising campaign focused on just the positive characteristics of the restaurant. The second campaign on the other hand, provided positive characteristics and negative characteristics that had absolutely no connection with the positive ones.

The third advertising campaign provided related negative and positive traits. In the last campaign, the restaurant was touted as very cozy but relatively small. The negative trait of the restaurant was its size but that was exactly the reason why it was so cozy in the first place.

To the recipient of this message, the advertisement showed why the restaurant should be patronized in the first place (i.e. it was so cozy and the owners wanted to keep it that way). The negative aspects that were revealed in the third advertising campaign were not really meant to showcase the flaws of the restaurants. The advertisements covertly promoted the weaknesses as strengths.

While the second and third advertising campaigns raised the appeal of the restaurant to would-be patrons, it was the third campaign that created the most buzz because the negative and positive traits are related, as opposed to the second campaign which featured unrelated positive and negative traits.

What does this study show us? If we were to apply Bohner’s findings to our own quest for influence and persuasion, it is clear that if we were to reveal our weaknesses, we have to make sure that every negative side is associated with a positive side that would outshine the negative.

The positive traits should always stand out in any statement; otherwise, you might end up destroying your own image in the attempt to make yourself look good.

If you are building your own personal image so that people would find it easier to trust your ideas and decisions, do not be afraid to reveal your weaknesses and at the same time remain humble.

Humility is a sign of power and history has taught us that the individuals with the most bombast are often the ones who fall and fail the hardest. If you want to create an aura of power and authority, you have to keep your ego in check. If you let your ego run wild, people will most likely become defensive and they will reject you.

Now, if you want to use this approach to promote a service or a product, you have to take a slightly different route. When it comes to selling, the point of contention is almost always the price point of the product or service.

The price is also the most common reason why people turn away from an offer because people are hardwired to preserve their resources. So how can we convince a person to give up his precious financial resource? The secret is to show all of the great advantages of what you are offering (positive traits) first before showing the negative aspect (the price).

Does this sound like you are destroying your own chances of success? Not really. You see, people like sincerity. People love the fact that an influencer can be completely honest with them. Honesty is always a good route in any situation, bar none.

Your genuineness and honesty will bring you above the competition because you will be giving your offer a human face. You will be able to trigger emotional responses more easily if you follow this route. Some of you might be asking: if it were this easy then why don’t people just buy great stuff at premium prices all the time?

People usually turn away from pricey offers because they get the impression that the high price point is a good thing/positive trait. No one in their right mind would think that a high price point is always a good thing. But when an influencer comes out and says that the high price point is a negative aspect that comes with providing so much value.

After showing them the negative aspect of the product, you can then follow up with more feature-benefits. You can tell your clients that your product might be more expensive in the beginning, but it will pay for itself over time because it will serve its purpose for a longer period of time and it will provide all of the benefits throughout its lifespan. You must appeal to both the audience’s emotions and logic because some people rationalize while some let their imaginations and emotions do all the thinking. It would be better to appeal to both groups of people.

If you are interacting with just one person, do the same – appeal to his sense of practicality and logic while stimulating his emotions and imagination. He doesn’t stand a chance against a master influencer who is pulling out all the stops to get the deal.

Now, before we end our discussion I would like you to take a look at these two statements:

“My product is 40% more expensive than what the competitor is offering but it’s better.”

“My product is 40% more expensive but over the long term it will work better, consumes fewer resources and will help you save time and other resources. You can relax now knowing that something this good will be helping you along the way.”

Which of the preceding statements do you think would appeal to both imaginative/creative individuals and rationalistic individuals?

Have you ever wondered why veteran pitch men seem to get their way when they are selling something on TV? Part of their success is their ability to use questions to their advantage even if they are in a largely one-way interaction (i.e. TV audiences can’t really respond to their questions).

Questions have that unique ability to trigger an emotional response from the target or subject. If you say the right questions at the right times, you are bound to succeed in persuading or influencing your subject. Using questions to trigger a specific emotional response in a subject is a good example of covert influence.

One of the main reasons why questions are so effective is the fact that when someone comes up to you to ask something, you can’t really ignore that person’s question. Mentally, we have been conditioned to respond to questions – it is part of the linguistic learning that we have had through the years. To ignore a question would feel very strange indeed.

Studies have also shown that answering questions is actually a part of our automatic/instinctual behavior set. That means we humans are hard-wired to respond – there is no escaping it. A subject will answer regardless of his level of desire or willingness.

Pretty sneaky, isn’t it? Society expects people to answer questions because it is the ‘right thing to do’ in most situations. To ignore a question would be to act rudely and no one likes to be branded a rude person. That’s why people answer questions mentally even if they don’t blurt out their responses. If you can get someone to say yes mentally, that’s enough to get you what you want.

Benefits of using questions

Here are some key advantages of using questions during a social interaction:

Remember how trance states work? When a person is in a trance state, he is focused on something (not necessarily on what you are saying). Asking questions automatically dissolves a subject’s trance state because he is forced to process and respond to the question. So the next time your audience looks bored with what you are saying, you can ‘reset’ the interaction by asking a series of questions to help your audience focus on what you really want to say.

When you ask questions, your subject becomes a little defensive, which buys you a little time to plan ahead. As long as you don’t taunt your audience just because you want them to feel defensive, a little defensiveness probably won’t hurt your interaction. Asking big questions like “what do you really want to achieve?” can buy you a lot of time.

Asking questions gives your audience the opportunity to directly interact with you. Let’s face it – people love to hear themselves talk. It’s natural for people to want to speak because we are social creatures. If you allow your subject to respond to his heart’s content (as long as the response is still part of what you had in mind), your subject will feel as though you are a partner or ally.

Asking questions also kindle interest. By asking thought-provoking questions, you can easily grab your subject’s attention again and again.

If the subject is still not buying what you are saying, you can draw out any objections out in the open by asking a series of questions. Objections can be dealt with easily if you know how to ask questions.

Questions also speed up the process of convincing people that you are offering the logical choice. Since people will be forced to answer strategically crafted questions, answers can be anticipated and can be used to the next set of questions, and so on.

Asking the right questions

Here are some guidelines that will help you create questions that will create a strong impact on your audience:

Ask questions that will logically lead to one fixed answer. Don’t ask general and open questions that might lead to confusion. So if you are trying to sell an idea to your manager, try asking a question that appeal to his sense of efficiency like “would you want something that will make every team member work more efficiently than before?” The logical answer to this question would be “yes” because saying “no” would be tantamount to saying that one loves inefficiency.

Ask questions that can readily be answered by your subject. While it sometimes feels good to ask questions that can only be answered by you, this approach can actually alienate your subject. We don’t want to alienate our subjects. We don’t want them to feel disconnected and overly defensive. We want them to share what they know in such a way that it would support our cause. That is how you will ultimately influence others.

Ask leading questions whenever possible. A leading question is simply a statement that has been transformed into a question that can be answered by a yes or no. Your questions can be answered by a yes or no, depending on what you want the subject to think in the first place.

Don’t forget to add that emotional impact to your questions. For example, if you want the subject to buy a new house, try asking questions like “How happy would your kids be when they finally have a place of their own where they can rest, learn and have fun all they want?” Emotional triggers are more powerful than logical triggers because a person would readily act upon an emotional response. Logic and rationalism are somewhat subdued compared to emotions.

You can close deals more easily by using choice questions. A choice question doesn’t really give the subject a choice because in any case, he will be agreeing with what you are saying. Here’s an example: “When would you like me to ship this case of new shirts, tomorrow or Monday next week?” The question itself appears as if the subject has a choice but in reality, he doesn’t.