Persuasion

The Law Of Cognitive Dissonance

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As humans, we feel the need to act in accordance with our core beliefs and values.  In other words, it is very difficult for us to behave or act in a way that is different from what we really believe deep down in our hearts. A researcher at Stanford University formulated something called the cognitive dissonance theory. 

In his own words, he stated when our actions conflict with our attitudes or beliefs; we become uncomfortable and motivated to try to change.  The method by which the Law of Cognitive Dissonance works is by leveraging the fact that people tend to act in a manner that is congruent to their beliefs and values. 

When we act in a way that is different than what our values and beliefs represent, we find ourselves in a state of discomfort.  Acting in a way that is not consistent with your core beliefs and values can produce anxiety, negative emotions and all-around feelings of general discomfort. 

It creates an immense amount of tension within us, and an overall feeling of being off balanced.  Human beings like balance and we will do just about anything to achieve it and relieve ourselves from internal discomfort or uneasiness that is caused when we act differently than what we believe is right. When we experience this internal conflict that I speak of, we don't like it and we will do whatever it takes to experience balance once again.  There are many different ways in which we do this. 

Rationalization - The first method is that we’re going to cover is rationalization.  Rationalization is when someone finds excuses or reasons why the loss of balance or inconsistency is acceptable.  We often find ourselves justifying our behavior or decisions to make ourselves feel better.  

Denial - Next on the list is denial. Denial is probably the most common and easiest form of reducing the tension.  In this case, the person simply denies that the problem even exists. They can do this by ignoring the entire situation or choosing to believe that the source where the information is coming from is not reliable.  

Correction - The next method that we use to reduce internal conflict is trying to find evidence to support why the information we received is inaccurate. 

Reframing - The next method is called reframing. Here, the person essentially changes their interpretation of the meaning behind the message that was given. This results in them either changing their thought process entirely or reducing the level of value concerning the entire matter as if it’s just not that important to them.  

Separation - And last but not least is separation.  In this case the person simply separates themselves from events or matters that are causing the internal conflict.  They do this by saying things like “one thing has nothing to do with another.”  

All of the examples above simply illustrate how we alleviate the internal conflict within by doing whatever it takes to convince ourselves that we made the right decision.  This is why in sales, it is extremely important to get the prospect to make a purchase on the same day.  Once a person has made a purchase, they are mentally vested in the product or service and will then do whatever it takes to convince themselves that they have made the right decision. 

A word about commitments… 

Of all the results that we can achieve by using the Law of Cognitive Dissonance, perhaps the greatest is getting people to keep whatever commitments they make.  Researchers have found that people who gamble are much more confident about the outcome of the game after they have placed their bet.

 In general, most people want to follow through on their commitments. If not because of their own personal values and morals, it’s because of the way they feel they will be perceived by society if they don’t.  This is why getting commitments from people is extremely important to the influence process. And the more public the commitment is, the more effective the trigger is.  There are three types of commitments that you can get from people. 

The first is a written commitment which is basically an exchange of promises that is documented and signed between two or more parties.

The second type is what we call a minor commitment.  The purpose of a minor commitment is to eventually lead someone into a major commitment.  People tend to buy or comply with people that they have bought from or complied with in the past. Therefore, if you can gain a commitment in any form - even if it is small - it will help you because it will eventually make it easier to gain a larger commitment.

 And the third type of commitment -which is extremely powerful – is a public commitment.  Any time a person makes a commitment in front of other people, they feel a burning desire to support that commitment no matter what because they do not want to look like hypocrites to the public.  As an effective sales manager for many years, I not only had every one of my salespeople put their commitments in writing but I also had them do it in front of everyone during team meetings because I knew this would instill in them a burning desire to keep their commitments and not look like failures. 

Here is how you put the Law of Cognitive Dissonance to use. First gain a commitment (public if possible) from the other party.  The more public the commitment, the more likely they are to keep it. Second you want to gain - what I call - gradual and continuous confirmations.  What I mean by this is that you start out with smaller requests that gradually lead to bigger ones.  Gaining these types of confirmations does two things. 

First, it opens the door for the possibility of the other party complying because you're starting out small. And secondly, it begins the process of them complying with you. And the more people comply with you, the easier it will be to gain compliance from them in the future.  One thing you must keep in mind when you are gaining commitments from other people is that these commitments must be voluntary.  The person must choose to commit to whatever it is that you're asking of them.  You do not want to use force in any way, shape or form, because if you do, the process will have a poor result.

People ultimately want to do what they feel in their heart.  And if you force them into doing what they believe is what you want rather then what they want, the internal conflict trigger will backfire on you.  In this case, the person internally feels one way and you have forced them to act in a way that is different than that. Eventually, they will have to return to behaviors that reflect their inner values.  

Once you've gained the commitment, the next step is to create the dissonance.  You do this by showing the other party how their thoughts, decisions and behaviors to not comply with what you are offering is causing them to not keep their commitment.  Once you have done this, the person will feel the sense of internal conflict, uneasiness, anxiousness and discomfort.  This is where you offer the solution to resolve the internal conflict that resides within them through your product, service or point of view.  So again, the three steps to using the Law of Cognitive Dissonance are: 

1.)           Gain a commitment

2.)          Create the dissonance

3.)          Offer a solution to resolve the dissoance

The Contrast Trigger

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The contrast trigger shows us that the perception of something changes when it is compared to something else.

This is often why you will see a price tag on a retail item that has been crossed out with a lower price. Imagine walking into a store to buy a pair of jeans that you have been looking for. You have been debating about whether or not you really want to spend the money on another pair of jeans but you’ve convinced yourself that you need them and you’ll probably buy them if you can find them “at the right price”. You find the jeans in your size and look at the price tag which says $79.

You begin to wonder if the $79 is the right price. Now imagine if that same thing had happened again only this time the price tag said $110 slashed down to $79. Now, compared to the $110 price tag, the $79 seems like a good deal but in reality it’s the same price. The only thing that changed was your perception once it was compared to something else. This is the contrast trigger in action. We see this in sales all the time. 

We make a presentation, and when we get to the price point we always set a higher price which becomes discounted down to a lower price so the prospect feels like they are getting a deal.  If I'm selling you something for $50, and I presented it at $50 you will look at that figure and think for a few seconds about what that figure means to you based on previous experience, values and general beliefs.  You will then decide whether or not $50 is - in your opinion - a lot of money. 

But if I presented the product to you and told you that it costs $300, but you could get it for $50, that product instantly appears more valuable to you.  That's how the trigger of contrast works. You take something, compare it to something else and you instantly change the perception of what you are presenting to other people. 

There are several ways to use the contrast trigger.  You can either add more benefits/rewards or reduce the consequences/risks.  All you simply need to do is present the situation in a way that you know the other party will not like and then re-present it again in a manner that seems more beneficial to them. 

As I said before, each one of us perceives things in a different way but we all perceive each thing that we see differently when we compare it to something else.  It is for this reason that a person weighing 200 pounds looks thinner when standing next to someone that weighs 300 pounds but looks heavier when standing next to someone that weighs 175 pounds. This is how the human mind makes comparisons. 

Another way to use the contrast trigger is to create a different frame of reference to shift someone's focus.  What this does is completely change the perspective by which the other party is seeing things.  The best time to apply the contrast trigger in this format is when there is a part of your presentation that you feel may deter the other party. 

For example, if you were selling a car that was due for a tune up at 100,000 miles and the car already had 90,000 miles on it, instead of saying this car will need a tune up in the next 10,000 miles, you can focus on how the car can have 100,000 miles before getting its first tune-up. 

The effectiveness of the contrast trigger (or any trigger for that matter) can also vary greatly because of timing and circumstance. For example, let's say I work for a multilevel marketing company and I was trying to find new recruits.  Let's assume you had some interest in getting involved but you already had a full-time job that demanded a lot of your time. 

In presenting the benefits and rewards that you receive by becoming involved, I would focus on the extra income that you would earn.  You would then decide whether or not it would be worth the extra time that you would have to invest to make that extra income.  But had I made that presentation to you on the same day that you just lost your job, you would see things much differently.

Because of the timing, I can now use the contrast trigger in a way where I am comparing multilevel marketing income as primary income rather than extra income. What this example clearly illustrates is that our ability to behave and make decisions can be greatly impacted at any moment depending on timing and circumstances. 

Therefore, when using the trigger of contrast, make sure that you are always aware of the level of pain, pleasure, reward or consequence as it pertains to the other party.

Keys To A Good First Impression

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“You can’t judge a book by its cover”. “Don’t make assumptions about people”. Do these statements sound familiar to you?

I know they certainly do to me. I’ve heard these and countless other similar sayings about how we shouldn’t judge people until we get to know them throughout my whole life.

Here’s the reality; you, I and every other human being under the sun make all sorts of judgments about people within the first 5 seconds of laying eyes on them.

And here’s what’s even more interesting; we couldn’t stop even if we consciously tried. Wanna know why? Because we’re not doing it consciously. We’re doing it subconsciously.

You see, when you meet someone for the first time, millions of neurons in your brain begin firing and your brain begins the process of categorizing this person. It typically does it by cross-referencing this person with everyone else that you’ve met in the past. And it all happens on a subconscious level.

Once the initial comparison has been made, the brain moves to the category of status placement where it determines if this person has a high or low status in society. This is an important point to remember because both humans and animals seek and are attracted to those that are considered to have higher status and power.

Another category that the brain begins placing people into is based on their physical attractiveness and whether or not they pay attention to their physical appearance.

Ultimately, the brain wants to place the person into a “yes” or “no” category. But sometimes the brain gets mixed signals and experiences conflict when trying to categorize. For example, let’s say you meet someone who dresses really nicely but they have a tattoo on their face or perhaps they are very attractive but their clothes are dirty. This poses a challenge for the brain in terms of categorizing and ultimately leaves you thinking things like “there’s something about this person that I just can’t put my finger on”.

Men and women also decipher first impressions differently.

Men see the body of a woman first and then her face whereas women do the complete opposite.

Truth be told, it takes a huge amount of work to overcome these instant impressions that are formulated in the minds of others. And I know it may seem weird, unfair or politically incorrect that someone would pass judgment on you like that in virtually any situation including a date, job interview or friendship introduction. But the bottom line is that it is in fact happening so the best thing you can do as an effective influencer is prepare for it.

First is your physical appearance. Like it or not, your perceived physical attractiveness will play a crucial role in various aspects of your life so your best bet is to invest in it as it will change the thoughts and desires of everyone you come into contact with.

One of the best ways you can invest in your physical appearance is by keeping your weight down. One of the biggest evaluation factors for people is a small waist on another person. Obesity is very unhealthy and most people are aware of it’s risks like heart disease and cancer.

Since we have been wired to want to build relationships with health people (especially on intimate levels) you can imagine the types of subconscious thoughts that run through someone’s mind when they seem someone who is perceived as unhealthy.

Most researchers agree that body language and physical appearance make up anywhere from 50 – 80 percent communication between 2 people.

Your clothing, glasses, hairstyle, jewelry, coat, shoes and just about everything else about you can dictate the direction of a relationship between you and someone else before you utter one single word.

Here are 3 simple rules to follow to make sure that direction is favorable for you:

1.)    Make sure you are absolutely immaculate when meeting your target for the first time. Get a haircut, dry clean or press your clothes, have facial hair trimmed and smell clean.

2.)    Ask your target how he or she knows when their expectations for value have been met. When they tell you, ask them how they determine the value on that item.

3.)    Pay close attention to your target’s pace of speaking and listening. In most cases, they are identical. Once you’ve indentified both, match them as closely as you can.

The Power Of Questions

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Questions are a critical component in the persuasion process.  And there are a multitude of reasons why.  First off, questions enable you to gain someone's attention. Have you ever noticed that when someone may be talking to you and going on and on and you find yourself in a position where you're extremely bored that you can suddenly stop and begin paying attention the minute someone asks you a question?

The reason why is because questions put your target on the defensive because they have to think of how they will answer your question and that serves two great purposes. 

The first  - which is the one that I just mentioned – is that they gain attention but secondly, is every time your target has to stop and think of how to answer your question, it gives you the opportunity to stop and think about what you're going to do next.  In some cases, that time that you are allotted will enable you to make a decision that can be critical to you gaining the result that you want. 

Questions also give your target the ability to speak, which is one of the key aspects of the way people are wired. People simply love to hear themselves talk. In fact, most of the time they are waiting for you to finish speaking so that they can begin.  Every time you ask a question you open the door for them to speak about themselves and this will create a mood that makes them feel good about themselves. This opens the door to your ability to create rapport.

Questions are also of great way to keep a person engaged.  I have found that one of the best ways to overcome situations where there's an awkward silence is to begin asking the other person questions. Those questions could be about anything but I continue to ask questions every time I feel as though an awkward silent moment may occur and it will instantly break up the monotony.

Questions also help alleviate distractions.  One of the critical rules in the influence process is keeping your target engaged and distractions will work very much against that process taking place. Therefore, it's your responsibility to divert your target’s attention from whateveris  distracting them back to you so that they're engaged.  And you can easily do that with a question that is phrased tactfully enough. 

One of the first things that you learn in sales is to ask questions at the beginning of your presentation because they enable you to get all of the objections out in the open so that you can overcome them initially, or prepare yourself to have to overcome them at a later time during the presentation.

Asking questions also will keep you in the driver seat because every time you ask a question and gain a response, you are in control.

You are evoking action in your target when you get them to answer your questions.

Always make sure you know exactly which questions you plan on asking and why.

The Role Of Time In Persuasion

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The only thing that truly levels the playing field for EVERYONE is time.

Regardless of how rich, poor, educated, gifted, cursed or talented each of us may be, the amount of time in each day remains the same for all of us. It is the only true commodity.

You influence people to make different decisions by changing the perspective of time. Changing one’s perspective of time has an impact on the way they feel and make decisions about things.

Every time you meet someone for the first time they subconsciously cross-reference you with every other person that they have previously met in life.

And the truth of the matter is that they’ve probably had more negative experiences with people than positive ones. Therefore, when you meet someone for the first time, it’s important that you: a.) differentiate yourself from everyone else in their past and b.) move their filter of time to the past, present or future.

People respond emotionally to people, places or things that stimulate them; this includes you. Whether your audience realizes it or not, both positive and negative experiences are being triggered when they meet someone like you for the first time. The ironic thing is that the response that you evoke in your audience doesn’t necessarily have to be directly linked to you. It’s linked to their past experience of someone that reminds them of you.

So before you’ve even uttered one single word to your target, they’ve already formulated a subconscious opinion of you.

Here’s what’s really interesting.

 Even if you completely change the way your target thinks about you because of your powerful influential tactics, they will eventually return to their original opinion of you. This happens for a number of reasons with the first 2 being that they will come across other people who fall into the same category as you who (in their mind) solidify their assumptions as being correct and secondly, opinions don’t just diminish that quickly.

For these reasons, it’s extremely important that you become an expert in altering time in their mind. When you can effectively transition your target mentally from one time frame to another, their past thoughts, emotions or opinions won’t have the same effect on them.

People experience time in 3 ways: past, present and future. Let’s take a closer look at each.

Past: Some people use past experiences as their sole frame of reference when making decisions about the present or the future. They are very skeptical and guarded but they also make fewer mistakes because they think this way. They also sometimes miss out on some of the great things that life has to offer because they rarely take chances. This is an important point to remember.

Present: People who live in the present moment give little though to the past or future and as a result don’t worry or get stressed out much. The downside to their method of making decisions is that they rarely think of consequences and instead seek immediate gratification.

Future: People who live in the future will sacrifice instant gratification for a better result down the road. They are usually detailed planners who love to organize and think things through. To them, the past (whether good or bad) has little relevance; if any at all.

Once you understand how people relate to time, you can equip yourself to influence them adapting to how they see things – or if they are not seeing things your way – you can change their perspective by taking them to another time frame.

For example, if they are hung up on a past failure, show them why the future is different. If they are hesitant about how the decision will affect their future, show them how other people who made similar decisions benefited in the past.

Essentials of Business Persuasion

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Persuasion is a very important part of influence.  And persuasion is ultimately all about a result which is otherwise known as getting your audience to do what you want them to do.

The result of compliance is often dependant on the relationship.

As an example, persuading your friend to go to the restaurant of your choice can be very different from persuading your child to do their homework.

Here are 8 simple steps to persuasion in business settings:

1.)  Identify A Problem – All of our decisions are made to either avoid pain or gain pleasure.  But statistically, people will actually do more to avoid pain than they will to gain pleasure.  If you can identify a problem or more importantly, a desire to avoid a problem by your target, you are well on your way to positioning yourself to persuading them.   

2.)  Identify The Consequence Of The Problem - The Once you've identified the unwanted issue in their life (which could be loss of money, loss of health, weight gain, rising costs, etc.), you now show your target how not taking the action to correct this issue will result in more pain for them.  Ultimately you're selling a solution, but sometimes you can’t do that unless the person knows that they have a problem.  So the first step is showing them their problem. 

3.)  Identify The Chosen Solution – Here, you simply have your target select the outcome that they think will solve their problem.  The best way to do this is by asking questions like “What do you think would fix this?” “What would be the ideal outcome for you?” or “What would you prefer?” 

4.)  Identify The Consequences Of The Solution - It’s very important that your target accepts and understands every aspect of the new outcome and fully supports it .If they don’t, they will blame you the moment things don’t work out as planned (if that happens). 

5.)  Check For Confirmation - Make sure that the chosen outcome is something that your target truly wants.  It will not help if they are not truthful; either to themselves or with you.  Gaining compliance and gaining pacification or two different things.  Make sure your target is not telling you what you want to hear just for the sake of not being combative. 

6.)  Ensure The Solution Is Beneficial - It will never do you any good to provide quick fix solutions or short-term answers to your target’s problems.  Make sure that any solution that you provide will provide long-lasting results.  This will not only make them happy, but will need to more opportunities for you to influence and do more business with them. 

7.)  Reserve Judgment - If the target makes a suggestion or answers a question appropriately, don't pass judgment on them.  Everyone views the world in a different way and sometimes someone's perception might be different than yours; making it hard for you to comprehend why they would have a certain opinion on a particular subject matter.  Invest the time and energy to understand your targets values, beliefs and outlooks on life.  It will not only better equip you to persuade them, but they will take notice to the fact that you have invested in getting to know them.

8.)  Never Correct Your Target - Often times your target may make statements that are false, untrue or downright incorrect.  If you experience a situation where this is happening, it's never a good idea to tell them that they're wrong or try to correct them.  When you do, their defense mechanisms automatically take effect.  Then, instead of listening to you or becoming susceptible to persuasion, they are too busy defending their thoughts and points of view.  This not only makes them difficult to persuade, but it also causes them to question their relationship with you.

The Law Of Obligation/Reciprocity

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The Law of Obligation/Reciprocity states that people generally feel obligated to return favors or good deeds that have been done to them by others.

 Many years ago, when Dr. Robert Cialdini, - who is what I consider to be the "godfather” of influence  - was beginning his psychological research to really determine what makes people tick and what makes people think and act in a certain way, one of the essential aspects that he touched upon was the reciprocity factor.

People generally feel obligated to return favors or good deeds that have been done to them by others.  What this means is that if you do something good for someone, chances are they will feel indebted to you and want to return the favor.  This is a technique that has been used for thousands of years.  Even in ancient times when people didn't have money and barter was the general method of exchange among people, using reciprocity was just as popular then at as it is now. 

We see this many times in sales.  I've been a salesman for practically my entire life.  Most of the selling that I did was in the fitness industry.  When someone would enter the club asking about membership information, the first thing I would do is offer the prospect of free bottle of water.  This instantly sends a subconscious reciprocation trigger to the prospect causing them to feel obligated to me in some way, shape or form.  And in most cases, the way that the prospect returned the favor was by purchasing my product or service.  Now I'm not saying that by simply giving a prospect a bottle of water or a gift of some sort, will always result in a sale.  But the likelihood of you making the sale increases dramatically when you do. 

There's an old saying that says smiles are contagious; meaning that when someone smiles at us, we smile back. This is the the Law of Obligation in the rawest form.  Many times, we receive smiles from people that we don't even know or that we have no history with and/or have never done anything with.  But when they smile at us, we automatically fill indebted to smile back at them. 

There have been many multimillion dollar negotiations that began with a one-party bringing a gift to the meeting and presenting it to the other party before the negotiation even begins.  This is a goodwill gesture, which sends a message into the mind of the other party that you’re here for a win-win and you want all parties to benefit.  This lowers the resistance of the other party and makes them more receptive to whatever you have to say.  It also creates a feeling of obligation within. 

Just as people feel naturally obliged to return favors, they also feel very uneasy if they don't return favors or if favors are not returned to them. The Law of Obligation is nothing new and has been used for thousands of years.  The key to making it work is knowing what to offer and ensuring that it will be on the same level of what you expect in return.  I've seen countless people try to apply this law only to have it not work because the other party had different idea or viewpoint about whatever you contributed to them. Always make sure you’re on the same level as your target.

Words Without Speaking

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Do you ever wonder how some people just always seem to get what they want no matter what the circumstances? 

Or how some people can just walk into a room and “own” it? 

Or how certain people seem to lays have some person they can go to for a favor or to get something done? 

I’m sure you’ve either seen or perhaps even personally know someone who exhibits these characteristics. 

And in most cases, they’re usually very successful in other aspects of their life including their relationships, finances and even discovering ad living their life purpose. 

That’s a pretty powerful position be in if you ask me. 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, nothing in life will ever be more valuable to you in your quest to achieve success than your ability to influence other people. 

Nothing on earth including education, passion, experience or drive can supersede the ability to persuade because in order to fully leverage any one of those things, you will probably need the help of someone else at some point. 

And if you can’t get the compliance that you need, chances are that those other things won’t mean anything. 

The reality is that you could graduate from Harvard Law School with honors and know everything there is to know about law but if you can’t convince a jury, a judge or a decision making third party to see things your way, the outcome will go in favor of the person who has the higher level of persuasiveness. 

You could know everything there is to know about investing in real estate but if you can’t convince the person with the money to give it to you, you won’t be able to get started. 

Or perhaps you don’t need any money from someone else but you will need to get properties for the lowest price possible and that’s going to take the ability to be influential. 

Let’s put it this way, think of whatever it is that you want out of life and then every step that you will have to take to get what you want. 

If you look closely enough, you will see that at some point, you will need the help of someone else and to get that help, you’re going to have to equip yourself with certain capabilities. 

I’ve used the power of influence in many different ways to get exactly what I want from other people without manipulating them in any way. 

In fact, in most cases, they were happy to help. 

When it comes to influence however, many people associate it directly with being persuasive. And many people associate persuasiveness with the ability to talk someone into doing what you want them to do. 

And while that’s certainly part of the process, it’s only one aspect. 

You see, there are many different ways to effectively influence another person and one of the most important one of them is body language. 

As a matter of fact, in some cases, the body does more influencing than anything else . 

Think about how you would feel if someone was trying to persuade you to do something and you were having a conversation with them but every time you began to speak, they looked away. 

Wouldn’t that give you the impression that they are not interested in what you have to say? 

That in turn, would make you feel as though perhaps they are not valuing your opinion and would make you less compliant to them. 

And this example is just one of many that is clearly visible. 

There are countless other bodily movements that send messages to the subconscious minds of others that will either support or counteract what your are trying to achieve in your tactics of influence. 

For example, when a person sits with their arms crossed, it sends a message to subconscious mind of the person they are speaking to which indicates that they are defensive. 

Knowing this, you can prepare yourself to not cross your arms when speaking to someone that you are trying to influence but more importantly, you’ll notice when the other person does it so you’ll know they are guarding them self. 

With that knowledge, you can then proceed in a way that will help reduce the defensiveness and ultimately get what you want. 

These are just 2 examples of countless ways in which people communicate using body language. The key is to master the mechanisms by which they all work so you can capitalize off of them by knowing something that the other party does not.

Ten Steps To Master A Job Interview

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Now listen, before you read this it’s important to understand that I personally am not a fan of having a job or being an employee….never have been.

At nearly every job I’ve ever had, I spent most of my time and energy figuring out how I could get more of what was important to me done rather than what I should have been doing as part of my daily duties.

When I was really young, that was sleep. I was always out late partying so I would devise a plan to get at least an hour or maybe even two of nap time in at work.

As I got older and began leveraging the only 2 talents I ever had (selling and writing) the days that were supposed to spent getting projects done were spent writing sales copy for Internet marketers until of course I got to the point where I didn’t need a job anymore.

My point is this. I’ve never liked working for someone else. But that’s just me and it’s really a whole other topic which I’ll write about at some other time. The reason why I decided to publish this is because I realize that for many people, jobs are very important and valuable. Now even though I was always a lousy employee, I did manage to land a job almost every single time I went on an interview.

So I figured I’d share the things that I did that I know for a fact will dramatically increase your odds of getting a job; so here we go.

1.)    Search online using a trusted site like Monster or Career Builder but NEVER apply through them. Instead, search for a contact e-mail address and send a personal e-mail. If that’s not an option, pick up the phone and ask to speak to the head of HR. Applying through these websites consists of filling out a form that will be sent to the same contact person only it will be sent with everyone else who applied; meaning you’re just another number.  Part of getting what you want is beating the odds and separating yourself from the rest.

2.)    Don’t let the application scare you. If you come across an application which states that the job has requirements (availability times, work experience, etc.) that you don’t think you can fill, apply and go on the interview anyway. Everything is negotiable and subject to change….or at least there’s a chance that it is. I can’t tell you how many times I saw a requirement on an application that I knew I couldn’t pull off but I either charmed the pants of the person interviewing me, made them bend or I figured it out once I got the job.

3.)    Google the company and find out as much info as humanly possible before the interview. Check out the link that says corporate structure or investor relations if they have one and find out the names of the officers in the company. If they are a public company, read the statements of the COO, CEO, President or Chairman when they reported their last quarter earnings. You can also check out their mission statement but hearing what an officer in the company has to say will give you a better indication of what direction they plan moving in the near future.  Be sure to make it clear that you are onboard and in alignment with the company’s vision and objectives.

4.)    Google the name of the person that is interviewing you. Check out their company profile or Facebook page (if applicable) and find out exactly who you’re going to be dealing with. See what their interests are, how long they’ve been with the company, if they have children, where they live, what sports teams they like, etc. These are all things you can use to create rapport with them during the interview.

5.)    This one is just for guys. Since I’m not a woman, I can’t really make any suggestions on this topic without sounding sexist. Buy a new suit or borrow one if you don’t have one. It makes all the difference. Navy blue is your best bet because it’s pretty versatile. You can wear it on an interview, to a meeting, a wedding and even funeral (if you really had to). Wear a white shirt and shoot for a tie that has a little bit of red in it somewhere. Statistics show that this color combination makes people appear more credible in the eyes of others than any other. Make sure your shirt fits you and that the collar is not too lose or the sleeves are too long. Little inconsistencies like this make you appear as though you don’t pay attention to detail. Always wear a pair of shoes that are in good condition (even if they are cheap).

6.)    Give yourself enough time to get there plus an hour. Invest the few minutes you have (because you arrived early) in getting to know the receptionist and/or anyone else that may be at the front desk. If you’re able to connect with them on some level, they’ll tell the person that you’re interviewing that they like you when that person shows you to the door. Social validation is always great. If you wind up getting there too, too early, go get a cup of coffee or feed the pigeons. NEVER under any circumstances, take the slightest risk of being late. Things happen… …trains get stuck, buses stall, traffic jams up....at the end of the day no one cares. You’ll always be remembered as the person who showed up late for an interview.

7.)    Give a firm handshake and do not sit until the other person does. Once the process begins, always look in their eyes and never shy away. This sends a message that you are both confident and truthful.

8.)    Make sure you know your resume inside out and be prepared to answer questions about it like why your average time length at each job was less than 2 years for example. Be prepared also  to present your case in 5 different ways. Chances are the person interviewing you falls into one of five categories when it comes to the way they make decisions. They are either a Thinker, Skeptic, Action Taker, Follower or a Leader.

9.)    Ask them how they got to be where they are in the company. People love to hear themselves talk. The more they share with you, the greater your odds of being liked. Every time someone shares something about themselves with you, they subconsciously become vested in thinking you are trustworthy, genuine and someone they would like to have more dialogue with.

10.) Send an e-mail within 2 hours after the interview has finished thanking the person for their time and stating that you look forward to coming onboard.  Waiting any longer gets risky because that one e-mail could strike the final cord needed for you to get  the job but if someone else - who interviews better – gets there before you send your e-mail, you could be in trouble. 

This list is by no means the end to all when it comes to getting a job and I left out most of the stuff that in my opinion is just common sense like having references available or being able to articulate how you perform certain job related tasks. This was more or less stuff that you may not have necessarily given a second thought to.

The Most Important Thing You Can Do As An Expert Persuader

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Selling is something I have been involved in since as far back as I can remember. It’s something that’s always come quite easy to me.

Some of my friends however, feel that making a living in sales is crazy. “How could you work without knowing you’re getting a steady paycheck?” “How could you let other people determine how much money you are going to make?”

These are the same people that work at 9-5 jobs and get paid the same rate no matter how talented, committed or hardworking they are.

 I’ve always had different outlook on things. When they would ask me questions like that, I would ask “How could you work your _ss off and be paid the same as someone who slacks off all day?”

I believe people should be paid based on their ability. And rather than being nervous about not having a steady paycheck, I simply love the fact hat there is no cap on the amount of money I can make. I decide what my paycheck is.

One thing I have learned in sales is that the principles and techniques involved in closing a sale are also essential to improving your life overall.

As I’vealways said; no person has ever achieved anything great without the help of someone else. Cultivating the right relationships in life is a high leverage tool to achieve success.

Part of cultivating the right relationships is being persuasive. Persuasiveness is the ability to convince someone else to do exactly what you want them to do in an honest way.

Today, I’m going to share with out the single most important part of being an expert persuader. This will enable you to close the deal, win the date, get the job or do just about anything else that you need the help of someone else to do.

 In sales, we call this the 80/20 rule. Basically it involves listening 80 percent of the time and speaking 20 percent. This enables you to determine what the customer, potential lover, boss, date, etc. wants and what they perceive as valuable.

You see, it’s never about what you are selling or presenting to someone, it’s about what their perceived value is of what you are offering.

Every time I ever hired a new sales person who claims they are an expert closer, I ask them if they can close a person on anything or just certain things. The typical answer is “I can sell anything Paul.”

I then pull out my stapler and ask them to sell it to me. And so the show goes on, 95 percent of these so called “experts” begin taking about how sturdy the stapler is, how many staples it holds and all the wonderful things it’s capable of doing.

After letting the person go on for about 15 minutes, I say “that’s great but I have think about it. I’ll call you in a few days.”

And the person has nothing to say. Why? Because they never took the time to listen to what I perceive as valuable. Because if they had, they would have built the presentation around those value points. Plus, in the time they spent listening to me, they would have 1.) Built a rapport and 2.) Discovered any objections that I may bring up later so they could be prepared to overcome them.

So how do you determine what the other person perceives valuable? The answer is very simple. You ask questions.

In sales, we call this the needs analysis. Basically, you ask a series of questions that will help you determine what the other person considers valuable and help disclose any objections that may pop up later so you can prepare to effectively overcome them.

So the minute I interview a salesperson and they start their stapler presentation by asking me questions like “Is this for personal or professional use?” “Would you be purchasing just one stapler or multiple products?” I know this is truly an expert salesperson.

That’s what expert salespeople do. They ask questions and spend 80 percent of the time listening to what the other person says.  That way, they don’t waste the entire time making a presentation based on something that the person could care less about when they could have taken the time to listen and easily close the sale.

Now if you’re a person who has studied sales, influence, persuasion or any other body of knowledge related to gaining compliance from others, you know that what just shared is pretty basic stuff.

Here’s where I want to take things to the next level.

Most educated sales people know that to determine the other person’s needs, you need to ask questions, but what do you do if you find yourself in a situation where the person doesn’t feel like being questioned?

What do you do when you are dealing with someone that is extremely defensive and wants you to just “get to the point”?

These are 2 of the most popular questions that sales people always pose to me. So here’s the answer. First realize that without ever actually getting them to give you what you need, which is their true desire for having what you have to offer, your chances of closing them are next impossible. Simply put, you MUST get them to open up at some point; that’s your job. So don’t ever –under any circumstances – let that person take control of the conversation by skipping this crucial part of your presentation just because you’re afraid they’re going to get up and leave.

In order for the sale to take place, you must make your presentation and if you allow them to prevent you from doing that, odds are you will lose them anyway.

What you must do is appear to give them what they want so you can disarm them and ultimately get what you want.

To do that, you must first understand why this person is acting the way they are. Chances are it’s because of one of two reasons or both. The first is that they have been burned in the past by making a decision to buy something similar to what you are selling and either you, the environment or the current experience is taking them back that previous experience.

The second is that this person usually makes decisions from a skeptical standpoint and therefore is usually very defensive by nature.

In either case, their objective is to get the information from you as fast as possible so they can thoroughly scrutinize it – without you there trying to sell them -before making any rash decisions.

The key here is to convey the message that you want to be able to get them as much info as possible to ensure they make the best decision. And so rather than just asking them the set of questions that you normally would to uncover their desires, you first make them believe that the questions you are asking are for the sole purpose of enabling you to give them as much relevant data as possible.

For example, when I was selling health club memberships and I came across a person who is demanding the just know the price; I would say to them “Sir/ma’am, we have a number of different options which all depend on individual needs because we know people don’t like paying for things that they don’t need.” Then, without any hesitation I would ask a question that they believe is being asked for the benefit of giving them the data they need like “are you going to be using one club or multiple clubs? “

This instantly shifts their perception from me trying to pull information out of them so I can sell them to me just simply trying to figure out which option would be best for them so I can present the data that they need to make their decision in the best way possible.

But what I have really done is began the process of asking questions which opens up a form of dialog which if done correctly, will enable me to create rapport. Once, rapport has been established, my odds of making the sale dramatically increase because my odds of making the presentation increase because they will begin to lower their defense mechanisms and also think twice about trying to rush me and appear rude when I’m trying to help them.

Try to ask at least 4 questions like this because the more questions they answer, the easier it becomes to ask the questions that you really want to ask like “what are you hoping to accomplish here” which will peel back the layers and lead you to their desires.

Once you have the desire, you have the gold.