Sometimes it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.
Sometimes it is not what you're saying to someone, but the way that you're saying that will impact them and cause them to take action. Your message can be perceived in various ways depending on your verbiage. Take the following statement for example:
I didn't say he hit his wife.
There are many different ways that we can actually make this statement depending on the emphasis on the words. Emphasis on certain words changes the way the person you are speaking perceives the information. Read the following statements out loud and each time, put emphasis on the word that is in bold.
I didn't say he hit his wife.
I didn't say he hit his wife.
I didn't say he hit his wife.
I didn't say he hit his wife
I didn't say he hit his wife.
I didn't say he hit his wife
I didn't say he hit his wife.
While each one of these statements has the same words, they all convey a different message. That is how the verbiage trigger works. Words are extremely powerful and every time we use them, we can create mental visions which then instill feelings within someone. Words like disease sadness, depression, hatred bring feelings of negativity while words like happiness, joy, fulfillment and success instill good feelings within us. Your word choice in the influence process is extremely important; especially if you're speaking to an auditory person. An auditory person is a person that is more open to suggestion and processes information based on the way things sound. Generally speaking there are three types of representational systems that people use to process information:
Auditory – Make decisions based upon the way something sounds.
Kinesthetic - Make decisions based upon the way something feels.
Visual - Make decisions based upon the way something looks.
Therefore, if you're speaking to an auditory person, the words that you are using are going to have very powerful effect on them so you must be extra conscious of words that may turn them off as well as the words that may actually prompt them to take action. As an example, working in the fitness industry for many years, you learn to use certain words versus other ones because they sound better to the customer. When they join, we ask them to sign a piece of paper which says they agree to pay for the service but we never call that a contract; we call it a membership agreement. We don’t ask for a signature, we ask for an “okay”. If they asked me if was getting paid a commission, I tell them that there is a fee for my service. When I was trying to convey my point, I never told them that I'm trying to sell them something; rather I sad that I wanted to get them involved in what we have to offer.
Remember that the way that you verbally package something can also completely change the perception of something. For example, if I wanted to tell you that my Internet service is extremely fast and that no other brand is faster, I could say that no other brand works faster even if my brand doesn't fall into that category.
Storytelling - Story telling is one of the most effective ways to persuade someone. People love to hear stories and when they do, the mind becomes organically engaged because we desire to know the outcome of the story. One of the most important parts of the story are the mental images that vivid speaking produces. When you're speaking vividly, you're basically creating a picture for the person who you are speaking to which will then help them to use their imagination. We do this by making them feel what we are speaking about in the story that we’re telling. I do have a couple of rules that I generally like to follow when it comes to verbiage.
Rule # 1 Speak Simply And Clearly – Speak clearly and don’t use complex words that your audience may not know the meaning of. It’s essential that your audience understands every word that rolls off your tongue. If they don’t, you risk losing their attention due to the fact they are too busy trying to understand what you are saying. When that happens, they are no longer engaged. If I was giving you directions to go find $1 million, but I was saying it in a language that you couldn’t understand, chances are you would never find the money because I would never have prompted you to take any sort of action. The same is true if you use words that people do not understand; they will not take action. Secondly, you don't want to use words that are abstract or unclear. One thing that you never want to do is confuse the person that you trying to gain compliance from because that will only lead to procrastination and ultimately not making a decision. Always use language that is a verb driven meaning it includes action verbs. This will engage your prospect’s emotions both on a conscious level and a subconscious level.
Rule #2 Keep Your Sentences Short And To The Point - You never want to overwhelm people with what you're saying because if you do, you will lose them and as I said before, once you've lost them, it’s pretty much pointless to continue your presentation.
Rule #3 Use Volume Accordingly - Always make sure that when you're speaking, the volume is the same as it would be if you were in a Starbucks talking about a potential business deal. All parties come with the understanding that while it is a public place, the people there are having conversations and trying to get work done, so it's not the right time to raise your voice. If on the other hand, if you're an expert persuader who was the hired to be a motivational speaker and you're giving a speech in front of thousands of people, you don't want to keep your voice down. In this case, you want to project your voice and speak with lots of energy and enthusiasm. Point being is that there are times when you’ll need to raise your voice and times for you to lower your voice but you should always be conscious of that and know which is appropriate based on the environment.
Rule # 4 If Nothing Else, Master Articulation - The ability to properly articulate is priceless and extremely important when it comes to verbiage because it enables people to better understand what you're talking about. Sometimes, you can make a statement, but people will not agree with it simply because they don't know enough about it. If you're able to articulate your point effectively, you will then enable them to understand it better and perhaps change their opinion of it. People who can articulate their points well are also very much admired by others because it makes them appear intelligent and well versed.
Rule #5 Pay Attention To Your Pace - The pace at which you speak is also very important. Pay very close attention to how fast or slow you are delivering your message. You may be saying some of the most important things but if you're speaking too fast, your message may become lost or you may lose the listeners attention because they're trying to follow up on what you said last. By the same token, you don't want to speak extremely slowly, because you can bore someone and completely lose their attention as well.
Rule #6 Use Comparisons - One of the most effective parts of verbiage that I have ever used is comparisons. Any time I'm able to take the situation and completely reformat it by comparing it to a similar situation only with different events or circumstances; I can engage the listener much more effectively. Sometimes people don’t agree with what you’re saying simply because the concept may not make sense to them. If you can compare it to something similar that does make sense to them, it will make them more receptive to what you’re saying.