Have you ever been in a situation where you thought you had created a good relationship with someone but when it came time to persuade them, you were on two different pages?
Chances are something happened during the rapport building stage. And what's worse, chances are you don't even realize what it was.
Many times it has to do with the amount of information you're giving to your subject.
The classical method of establishing rapport is talking to the other person and actively listening so that he begins to share more of what he’s thinking and feeling at the moment.
The ultimate goal of rapport is to create this instant bond between the speaker and the subject. We are going to enhance that process right now with a potent technique called rapport hooks through the hypnotic vortex.
Rapport hooks are actually subconscious cues placed strategically throughout a conversation to generate interest in what you are saying so that the subject will feel that he needs to know more about what you’re saying.
Too often people make the fatal mistake of laying down everything they have to offer at once.
When you do this your subject will feel that you are somewhat desperate to please him/her and this will reduce the authoritative image that you want to project. Remember – desperation and anxiety have no place in hypnosis, influence or persuasion.
So as someone who wants to master conversational hypnosis, you have to exert a lot of continuous effort to ensure that these negative elements will never take the fore when you are trying to express yourself effectively in front of other people.
How can you use rapport hooks to engage other people in an instant? Here’s an example to show you just how easy it is to use rapport hooks in any situation:
“I arrived in the building because I was supposed to meet with my broker. I was welcomed by a bunch of guys in dark suits and they asked me if they could talk to me for a few minutes. I didn’t want to disappoint them so I said “alright, let’s talk”. To cut the story short I was still able to leave the building in one piece but I missed my meeting with my broker”
Did you notice anything about how I relayed information in the example? There was indeed a story there and I did give out some important stuff related to my story.
But in the end, the story was incomplete. It was missing a lot of important details and that is really what hooks in the subject. By removing some important details from what you are saying, you will be able to create a natural interest in your story. People will become hungry for more.
Rapport hooks are extremely convenient tools because you don’t have to be a brilliant speaker in order to use them. So even if you have a very simple story to tell you can create and sustain rapport throughout a social engagement by using hooks throughout the conversation.
When you feel that you are slowly losing your subject or audience you just have to tweak your inputs so that your subject’s mind will automatically be alerted that there’s something missing from what you are saying.
Of course, you will still provide the necessary details. But you are going to make your subject work for it. You are going to wait until the full effect of the hooks begins to manifest. The number one sign that we are looking for is questions. When your subject begins to ask questions out of the blue, you can be assured that rapport is being created as you continue to engage the subject.
Rapport hooks can also be used for the effective fractionation of rapport. Remember our short lesson on fractionating rapport? You can regulate rapport by allowing the subject to set the pace of the conversation. You give a little information, gain the interest of the subject and wait a bit for the questions.
When a subject is able to comfortably formulate questions, that means the speaker is not pressuring the subject at all. You are not breathing down the other person’s neck and that in itself is a great thing because a comfortable and trusting subject is 90% there already. He’s ‘in the zone’ and he is more likely to say yes to your offer.
Here’s another example of how simple rapport hooks/cues can be used to create an instant buzz about what you want to share to your audience:
“I recently visited a small town in Africa where diabetes, heart diseases and cancers are virtually unheard of.
They grow a strange plant there and they eat it every single day. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we can grow that simple plant here so we can reap its health benefits, too?”
If you look at the second example, you can see the arc of the story very clearly. There’s context and there are some supporting details. But I have strategically left out the most important detail of all – the name of the plant and what people in the town were using it for. Curiosity is automatically increased because people don’t like it when they hear an incomplete story.