Author Archives: Paul Mascetta

How To Use Dreams To Map Out The Life You Want

September 19, 2012 0 comments

When we were growing up, we were taught to dream less because dreams belong to the realm of the non-existent and no one in their right mind would choose dreamland over reality.

Humans were blessed by nature with the natural ability to dream (or daydream); it is unfortunate the cynicism of society doesn’t encourage this activity anymore. Little do people know that daydreaming can actually help a person improve his life from within so that he would be more prepared to handle the challenges of the real world.

The following NLP exercise will help you rediscover the potency of dreams and mental play and will also reintroduce you to the idea of mapping out your future through visualization:

1. The first thing that you need to do is to identify a lifelong desire or goal. Go crazy with this goal or desire. Imagine that you have a genie in a magic lamp. Visualize that you have every resource imaginable to make your desire or goal a reality. Are you ready with that great desire or goal? Picture that goal clearly in your mind and proceed to the next step.

2. Now that you have a goal in mind, list down all of the reasons why you have this desire or goal in the first place. If you have thirty reasons why you want this goal to be accomplished, write them all down. Examine the list that you have created. Were you expecting all of these reasons at all? Are you somewhat surprised at all of these core values that you thought you never had?

3. After listing down all of the reasons and values that you associate with the lifelong goal, visualize that you are floating and you are flying to a not too distant future where your lifelong goal has finally come true.

4. Float into the picture and try to animate everything around you. Ask yourself questions like how does it feel to be in that distant time? What are the sights and sounds? What are you wearing? How does the air feel in this distant time?

5. As you visualize the distant time, I want you to turn up the details. Make every detail as vibrant and bright as possible. If you smell something, make the smell so strong that you could almost feel the scent permeating your nose. If you are wearing a new dress or a new suit in the visualization, imagine how the cloth feels on your skin and heighten that feeling as well.

6. When the visualization is as strong and vibrant as possible, I want you to start observing your surroundings more closely. Try to pick up important details that you think would help you achieve this lifelong goal.

No detail is too small. If something appeared in your visualization that means your mind is trying to tell you something. Absorb everything in your daydream. Write down all of the important and interesting details that you have picked up later on.

7. When you are done observing, bid farewell to that sweet time in the future and come back. When you are fully refreshed from your dream, begin the journey that will make your dream come true!

Important Note:

Daydreaming is actually the subconscious mind’s way of reminding us how to get things done. It will continually remind us through the use of images and symbols until we finally understand what it’s trying to say.

Five Secrets To Covert Influence

September 19, 2012 0 comments

1. Control Your State Of Mind At All Times

This is actually a really simple concept. You can’t control anything (especially the mind of someone else) if you can’t control your own state of mind.

Think of it like this.

Your mind is like a movie theater that plays the movie that you decide on. The question is, what would you rather have playing? A depressing horror movie or a beautiful story with a happy ending?

If your internal representations are ruining you , then you need to take back control of your mind. The first step is by creating new movies in your mind (even if you don’t really believe them at first).

Visualize yourself as the same physical character but with new powers. Begin to see yourself as the hero rather than the victim. A large part of this also has to do with the language that you use.

Most people have no idea how much negative energy they create out of thin air by simply using words and phrases like “I can’t”, “I’m not good enough”, “I’m not smart enough”, “I could never do that”, etc.

Realize that you create your own reality. It begins with how you talk to yourself. let that voice by a secret weapon of inspiration that gives you the power to overcome obstacles rather than a parasite that feeds off of your negativity and spirals out of control.

FACT: Most people who dream of getting rich by winning the lottery almost never do.

And statistically those who do usually wind up broke again within a few years.

Why?

Because they’ve created a mind set which states “That which I desire comes from external resources rather than from those that naturally reside within me”.

They believe that wealth can only come as result of “luck”.

This automatically relinquishes their control over their circumstances and positions them as the victim rather than the victor. Not a good thing.

2. Control The Subject’s State of Mind

Once you have your own state of mind under control you can begin controlling the minds of others.

You can do this by appealing to the windows of his mind which include his:

A. Internal Representations

You need to determine the type of movie your subject is playing in his mind and how it’s serving him. If it’s one of doom and gloom, show him a sneak peak of what could be by taking what you have to offer.

Now sometimes he might not be aware of what he has to change. In other words, he could be painting a beautiful picture in his mind but it’s not conducive to his reality.

If this is the case, you have to briefly inject him with a dose of the scary ending that could be coming that he’s not aware of. Then show him what he must do to avoid it.

B. Actions

In certain cases, the internal change that you need to have him create in his mind comes from the act of movement. In NLP, we call this a pattern interrupt. You’re simply interrupting his pattern of thinking so you an redirect it where you want it to be. You can do this any number of different ways.

Drop a pen on the floor. Hand him a pen. Hand him a drink of water. Take him for a walk. Go for lunch. Give him a brochure or a book and direct him where to look.

Remember, if he’s in a stuck state he’s not open to suggestion. Break the state, redirect and resume.

3. Gather And Utilize Data

People who win always gather information about their subject and utilize it advantageously.

Professional fighters do this all the time. They study the tapes of their opponents fights to see what patterns they follow so they have a better understanding of how to fight him.

The same is true of truly professional sales people. They always gather as much data as they possibly can about their prospect before making a presentation.

With the Internet as it is today it’s relatively simple to find out information abut someone.

Almost a billion people are on Facebook alone with a profile that tells you where they live, what they enjoy doing, what kind of music they listen to and what sports teams they like.

The key to using this this data to your advantage is very simple.

Look for and subtly highlight any similarities that you may have and more importantly, avoid any differences.

The second part is especially important because just as similarities positively impact an interaction exponentially, differences do the same but in a negative way.

4. Master Power-Linking

Power linking is really just a fancy word for networking. I came up with it all by myself 🙂

Seriously though, I can’t emphasize the importance of networking enough.

But as a person who understands influence, you probably already know how powerful relationships are.

Let me put it this way.

When I was in sales, it was my networking that took me to six figures.

And when I started my own digital business?

Well I wouldn’t even have it if I didn’t leverage my relationships with other Internet marketers.

Here’s the thing though.

Networking only works if you have at least one of three things. You are the best at what you do, you have great products and/or you have great services.

Focus on solving the problems of others and you should have no problems of your own achieving these things.

The next step is asking.

If you need help, ask for it. But only do after you’ve provided value.

5. Be Proactive

Sitting around and waiting for opportunities to magically appear out of know where is going to leave you very disappointed.

Just go ahead and give it a try if you don’t believe me.

Think of something that you want, close your eyes for a minute and then open them. Did it appear?

I think you get the point.

The difference between those who always get what they want and those who just want what they don’t get is the fact that the first group of people actually go and “get” what they want.

You must work your self up into a white heat of desire (as Napoleon Hill calls it) to become a person who is always seeking the right people to obtain help from and then find them as if you’re life depended on it.

Once you find them, create value and solve their problems.

Then utilize the law of reciprocity and ask for the help you need.

Dectecting Lies In Smiles

August 28, 2012 0 comments

Smiling is possible through the combined effort of two groups of muscles: the zygomatic muscles and the orbicularis oculi.

The zygomatic muscles are simply the muscles that are present on the side of the face. The orbicularis oculi on the other hand, is responsible for moving the area near the eyes. When activated, the orbicularis oculi pulls back the small area near the eyes as a person genuinely smiles at something.

When a person smiles sincerely and genuinely, his eyes and mouth smile together.

And here‟s the secret that separates fake smiles from real ones: the zygomatic muscles (the muscles responsible for controlling the mouth during a smile) are controlled consciously while the orbicularis oculi are not consciously controlled. You can‟t pull back your own eyes during a smile if it‟s not sincere.

Telling a Genuine From a Fake

People who routinely fake their smiles have to consciously move their mouths so a smile is produced.

However, the rest of the face will not follow suit because there is no real emotion or sentiment behind the smile. There is mental motivation, but if the emotion is not present, the brain will have no reason to send out the signals that will produce the desired smile.

The easiest indicator if a smile is genuine is to check the sides of the eyes. Are there small wrinkles there? If there are small, soft wrinkles near the eyes then the smile is genuine.

But don't be fooled – some people who habitually fake their smiles can also create wrinkles near the eyes, but only because their faces have been scrunched so tightly that the skin near the eyes have to fold slightly to accommodate the movement of the zygomatic muscles.

According to a code system developed by researchers from the University of California, a genuine smile has the following characteristics:

1. Mouth muscles are in a smiling orientation

2. Cheeks move up

3. Creases form near the eyes

4. Eyebrows move downward a notch

If all four traits are present in a smile then you can be a 100% sure that the other person is being sincere when he smiles at you. But if only the mouth is smiling and the rest of the face is stoic and unmoving, then the other person is probably faking it.

Sadly, not everyone is a master reader and not everyone can spot a genuine smile from a fake or insincere smile.

Most people would be happy that a stranger or colleague took the time to drop a small smile. We are so hardwired to accept smiling that we fail to become critical of this important facial expression.

As a body language reader, you need to learn how to analyze smiles as well. Smiles should also be "read" along with other gestures and expressions in a cluster and the context of the smile should also be taken into account.

Because smiling can easily defuse a tight or tension-filled situation, most people think that conscious smiling in some situations can mean that the other person might be deliberately doing it so he can get away with something.

An important issue arises: do people smile more when they are about to tell a lie?

Remarkably, research regarding this particular issue states that people tend to smile less when they are telling lies. People probably avoid smiling when they are saying something false because there is already a common belief that liars like to smile when they are about con or swindle someone.

This doesn't mean that pathological liars don’t use the smiling tactic. Here are some general "rules of thumb" when it comes to smiling liars:

A liar would smile even before the lie is given. Smiles are almost spontaneous or automatic.
A liar would hold his fake smile for a longer period compared to a genuine smile. A liar can choose to smile for minutes if he feels that it would help his deceptive cause.
Since liars have to consciously smile to appear sincere to people, they have to exert extra effort to make their smiles look genuine. This extra effort usually results in a slightly lopsided smile.The smile becomes imbalanced because the left part of the face will be slightly more pronounced than the right side of the face.
This is due to the fact that the part of the brain that controls smiling are located on the right side of the brain and this region sends out a stronger signal to the left side of the body.

The Secret To Conveying Passion Through Body Language

August 28, 2012 0 comments

Ever wondered how evangelists and other notable public personalities are able to gain such followings simply through their talk? One of their biggest secrets is their ability to fully express their passion through their body language.

Again, if the goal is to get people to feel excited or passionate about what you are talking about, you need to back up the verbal content of the message with the appropriate body language because people expect your body language to be congruent with what you are saying verbally.

The most effective way of expressing one’s passion is through energy gestures. Energy gestures are amazing because they not only express your passion but they are able to motivate people to mirror your energy and passion, which is essential when you are leading a group of people.

Energy gestures are important to your subliminal influence toolbox. People might think you are sincere and someone who can be trusted, but this doesn’t mean that people would do what you want them to do immediately. People still need motivation – and motivation requires passion and access to people’s emotions.

So far you have learned about the plane of dissonance, the plane of pure trust and how breathing affects communication. If you need to express passion, you need to access the plane of energy.

The plane of energy is located near the center of the chest region, right where the heart is. When a person begins gesturing from his heart, his heart rate increases and his energy surges. People automatically feel this sudden change and the same effect are achieved in the audience.

Why do we become confident and powerful when we gesture from the chest level/heart level?

The reason is probably because the chest region is the most well-protected area of the body. Sure, the chest region houses the lungs and the heart but at the same time, this part of the body is protected by a very hard cage of bone.

We feel almost invulnerable because this part of the body is hard and well-defended. A person can easily raise his energy level by gesture from this part of the body without feeling vulnerable.

If you doubt the truth of this statement, try gesturing from the abdominal level, near the stomach. Does it feel somewhat different? If it does feel different, it means that your brain is telling you that you are gesturing from a vulnerable part of the body and you should stop.

When you need to raise the passion and energy of your message, I invite you to use this particular plane. Use it well and you will reap the rewards but as with anything in this world, this plane does have some potential downsides.

First, it is very easy to overdo the expression of passion. People like it when their pack leader has excellent control of his emotions. Raising your energy may be misinterpreted as a lack of self-control and this reduces your credibility as a pack leader.

Second, some audiences may not appreciate the fact that you are trying to get them excited. In such cases, you need to move away from trying to influence your audience peripherally; you need to influence them centrally (i.e. by inviting them to analyze the facts that you have strategically presented to them).

Third, even if your gestures are well presented some people might still think that you are being too melodramatic. Again, you have to re-evaluate whether the venue is right for this approach to influencing people.

I know that many of you might find this volume a little confusing at first because I’ve broken down the body into different planes, each with a unique purpose.

I want these techniques to become second nature and I know for a fact that in the beginning, it’s hard to let go of old body language habits. That’s why I’ve prepared a very simple and yet very effective exercise for those of you who can’t figure out how nonverbal language affects a person’s very conviction to verbally express himself.

This exercise is very easy. You just have to say “I love you!” but you need to do it twice, using two very different bodily planes. When you are ready, say “I love you!” while gesturing from beneath your waist line. Take note of how you felt when you said those words when you were gesturing from the plane of dissonance.

Are you ready for the second step? Say “I love you!” but this time, raise your hands so you are gesturing from above the navel. Take note once again of how those words felt as you gestures from above the navel. Try saying those words using different planes – how do the words feel and how does the plane you chose affect how the words feel as you were expressing them verbally?

It's Amazing What You Can "Say" With Your Hands

August 20, 2012 0 comments

Few other groups of gestures can compare to the power of hand gestures. According to scientists there are more nerve connections to the brain on the hands than any other body part. The hands are so essential to human survival that the body made sure that there would always be adequate communication between the brain and the hands.

How much can you learn from observing just a person's hands? Plenty – if you ask me. For example, did you know that you can see easily see a person's bias by watching how he moves his hands up and down during the course of a discussion? That's right – just watch how a guy or girl discusses ideas. The bias is revealed in the gesticulation.

It is estimated that 90% of the world population is right handed. So if a person is right handed, his stronger side is the right side. A right handed person who has a personal preference for something will describe that something and emphasize his points by moving his right hand during the discussion.

When a right handed person wants to shed light on opposing views or not-so-desirable options, he will use the opposite hand, which is essentially is weaker hand. Inversely, a left handed person will use his left hand to describe something he likes and he will shift to his right hand if he has to talk about something that he doesn't like.

It‟s pretty simple – but this little secret is brutally effective in determining if the other person is being sincere when he says that he fully agrees with what you are saying.

For example, if the other person says that he likes your project ideas but he enumerates the benefits of your ideas with his left hand (if he is a right-handed person) you can be sure that there is really some degree of resistance and the other person is simply pretending to agree with what you are saying.

Hand-Rubbing

Remember when we were little kids and we would rub our palms in excitement when we hear that we are about to get something that we really like? Well, this gesture usually does not disappear in adulthood.

The frequency of usage is reduced of course, but adults are just as prone to excitement as kids (or even more so, in some cases). So there you have it – if you see someone rubbing their palms together, then that person is expecting something really nice to happen.

Some of you might be wondering: how can this tidbit be useful anyway? Let me give you some examples.

Let' s say you walked into a swanky new restaurant. The waiter who is assigned to your table is very attentive and he seems very pleased to serve your table. Then at one point he rubs his palms together as he asks you if you want anything else. There it is!

There is positive expectation – and in the context that I gave you, the waiter is probably expecting a nice tip from you.

Now let's say you are a speaker at a big conference in the city. The host of the conference stands up and starts rubbing his hands as he introduces you to the crowd. The hand- rubbing is there for only a few seconds, but you were inquisitive and observant enough to catch it. What does it mean?

Obviously, the host of the conference is excited to have you on board as a speaker. Second, the host is probably communicating to you that everyone is expecting a dynamite performance from you and that you shouldn't disappoint them with something plain and boring.

The speed at which a person is rubbing his hands is also an indicator of intent. Here's a good example. Let‟s say you were looking for a brand new car. The salesman (who appears to be very knowledgeable) guides you through the whole showroom and presents the most popular cars.

If you ask the car salesman about the best car for your budget, watch out if he rubs his hands. If he rubs his hands quickly, then you are in the clear. A quick hand-rub means the other person has positive intentions and that the benefit of the action will be for you.

However, if the other person is slowly rubbing his hands as he presents something to you, you can be sure that he will be receiving a benefit as well.

Clenching the Hands Together

Like the palm-rub, clenching both hands during a conversation also has its own signification. Generally, a person who is clenching his hands even if the rest of his gestures or expression is extremely confident is usually experiencing some form of anxiety or fear.

This gesture can also be viewed as a barrier gesture – the person is trying to hold in some of his thoughts and emotions as he is talking with another person or a whole group of people. This gesture can also be analyzed as a way to disagree with another person's ideas.

The clenched hand gesture does not produce any positive connotations whatsoever. When a person does this, it's always negative. So if you are talking to an important person, don’t clench your hands because it's very defensive and quite frankly it doesn't really add anything good to your own effort to project a credible and confident person.

What other things does the clenched hand reveal about people? Here are some quick tidbits:

1. The clenched hand gesture shows frustration, particularly when a person is forced to deal with a very difficult negotiation. Stalemates can produce white knuckles after having been clenched for far too long. Restraint does come with a price – because during negotiations, the last thing that you want to show is you are about to fly off the handle.

2. This gesture also reveals that the person himself is thinking that he is not credible enough or convincing enough during the conversation. Take note that by "conversation" I refer to any face to face social interaction that requires literal proximity (not video conferences, etc.) Face-to-face conversations can have a bigger impact on a person and his deeply-rooted anxieties can emerge when he feels that he is not on the winning side anymore.

3. The clenched hand gesture can be done in three ways. The person can hold his hand near his face (method # 1) or he can place his clenched hands flat on the table (method # 2).
And then there‟s the last option, which is to place the clenched hands near the zipper area (method # 3). Regardless of the positioning of the clenched hands, the signification of the gesture remains the same.

Projecting Power

The basic steeple gesture

If the clenched hands gesture shows the other person that you are anxious about something, the steeple gesture shows the direct opposite.

It shows that you are very confident about what you are saying and what you are doing and because of this, you are a force to be reckoned with. It has been observed that the steeple gesture is used most frequently by thinkers (i.e. master chess players) and natural power players (i.e. administrators, managers, business folk, etc.).

This gesture is usually performed when a person has to give directions or orders to someone else. The steeple signifies not only self-confidence but superiority over others.

Should you use the steeple gesture, at all? You can use it if you are in the presence of people who are formally below you in terms of formal hierarchy.

For example, if you are an office administrator and you are holding a meeting, you can use this gesture sparingly to remind others that you are indeed a boss and your ideas and recommendations should be considered.

On the other hand, if you want to convince someone don’t use this gesture because you will come across as arrogant in some instances.

If you have to persuade someone, the best way to go about it is to create an equalizing atmosphere so that the other person will respect you and at the same time, will consider you as an equal.

The steeple is a key gesture during negotiations or presentations. People usually perform the steeple toward the end of a negotiation. However, it is just a main hook for the cluster of gestures that would follow.

People never stick to a single gesture because they need to express themselves completely, too. So here‟s the technique: when the other person starts using the steeple gesture, check the other gestures in the cluster.
If the other gestures are positive then the only thing left to do is to formally ask the other person for permission to carry out the idea, get the product, etc. Positive body language after the steeple gesture means the other person was indeed persuaded.

Negative body language after a steeple gesture on the other hand means the other person is not interested in what you have said and he doesn't want to say yes at all.

So if you are offering an idea to your boss and he begins to "steeple" and he begins to cross his arms, too, then you can be sure that he's not impressed with what you have said so far. Respond to the body language adequately and you will most likely get the results that you want.

Hypnotic Influence Tip #1

August 17, 2012 0 comments

The Four Levels Of Human Perception

August 17, 2012 0 comments

True mind control wouldn't be possible if you are not aware of how the human mind actually processes information and generates specific viewpoints.

This is the reason why we have to briefly explore the four levels of human perception so you will understand just how people process ideas and suggestions from other people.

The first level of human perception is limited to people's immediate reactions to stimuli that they are able to receive through the five senses.

For example, if a person touches a hot pot he will immediately pull away and nurse his hand. The second level of human perception concerns the assignation of meanings to different stimuli.

At this level of human perception people begin associating ideas with events. As the influencer, you can create multiple associations and the subject may believe you if you present the associations convincingly enough unless the subject already has prior knowledge about the idea or event.

At the third level of human perception is the crystallization of personal beliefs. People encounter a lot of stimuli on a daily basis and the mind has to assign permanent meanings to these stimuli so a person would be able to react accordingly when he encounters the stimuli once again in the future.

The third level is dependent on the first level and second level of perception. So as an influencer you will play a vital role in modifying people's perception of things.

And finally, we have the fourth level of perception. In this level, people begin associating specific emotions to stimuli emanating from the environment. By stimuli, I refer to any sensory input (sound, smell, tactile sensations, etc.)

You might be wondering at this point in time how this information could actually help you persuade someone. Well, if you want to be a truly persuasive and influential individual you need to take into account all four levels of perception when interacting with a subject.

Many would-be influencers only focus on the second level of perception (which is why many people become frustrated when they do not get the results that they want).

To avoid this problem, I'm going to walk you through the different levels of human perception so you can utilize each level properly when you are interacting with another person.

Level 1

Create the perfect environment for the subject before laying down your cards on the table.

Make the subject as comfortable as possible before and during the interaction

Establish your credibility at this level by using strategic verbal language and the appropriate nonverbal/body language

It is at this level that an influencer can use pacing and leading techniques. Once trust has been established the subject will allow himself to be led b the and throughout the interaction unless of course he finds a reason to disagree with you and walk away instead.

Level 2

Since rapport has already been established at the first level, you can now employ hypnotic language patterns at the second level.

New ideas and calls to action will be introduced at this level; this is the reason why hypnotic language patterns can be extremely helpful at this point in time. The subject will start forming his opinion about all of the input you are giving and you need to make sure that his reactions will be beneficial to your goals.

If you want to teach the subject new modes of behavior and thinking, you can do that in this level because the subject will be open to suggestions because you have already established rapport in the first level.

Level 3

The influencer's control wanes at the third level of human perception. At the third level the subject begins making conclusion of his own. He will be analyzing his primary reaction to the stimuli (e.g. your words) and all of the input and triggers you have used in the second level.

As influencers we can't really tell people how they should feel towards particular stimuli. The best that we can do is to suggest what they should think but people can still disagree with you and reject your ideas altogether.

This is the main reason why I disagree with people who say that NLP and hypnosis are manipulative disciplines. No one has ever committed suicide because of hypnosis.

No one has ever been pushed to hurt another person through neuro linguistic programming. In my personal opinion, people tend to use manipulative language more than practicing hypnotists and NLP trainers/practitioners.

One of the most important things that you have to keep in mind when interacting with people is that on the third level of perception, people try to determine whether what your offering will offer benefits/enjoyment or punishment.

People would usually back away from something that has been perceived as more of a punishment (e.g. working out several times a week while eating healthy food like steamed vegetables).

Level 4

The fourth level of perception is definitely the most important of all the levels. It is in this level of perception that the influencer must begin infusing his ideas and calls to action with emotional triggers that will have a lasting effect on the subject.

If all goes well, the subject will adopt a new viewpoint and belief about an object or issue. If the influencer fails, there is a big chance that the subject will just say no and walk away.

Why We Use Social Categorization

August 16, 2012 0 comments

Stereotypes emerge because these are the most readily available pieces of information and to conserve cognitive resources, we use these stereotypes or prototypes to process information with heuristics. But the real question here is: why do we engage in social categorization at all? Why don't people use other ways to make sense of the world?

The answer is actually convenience. Social categorization is a process that is intimately associated with heuristics. We use social categories because we don't want to expend all our cognitive resources in analyzing one or two situations.

From the perspective of self-conservation, this makes a lot of sense, too. Who would want to spend hours thinking of something when a thin slice of the situation can be used to create a valid inference? No one – because everyone is preoccupied with more important issues and activities and there has to be prioritization.Conservation of cognitive resources is just one good reason to stick to social categories. The second reason is that when a person has a mastery of many social categories, he is able to organize and process information more succinctly and more efficiently than folks who do not make use of social categories more frequently.

Social categories allow us to assign internal traits to specific classes of objects, events, people, behavior, etc.

Though the use of stereotypes can sometimes be misleading, it still remains that we are rational individuals who can refine our own perspective of the world. We can always choose to ignore stereotypes if we want to; however, this does not mean that everyone else is interested in discarding stereotypes.

Social categories are so convenient to use that we actually engage in categorization even if we consciously don't want to use categories. For example, if we meet a foreign student from a faraway country, we try to suspend our social categories because we know full well that these may not apply to the foreign student.However, because we have to acknowledge the social categories first before we can suspend them from conscious thought, we cannot avoid using these categories even for a few seconds.

Social scientists have been able to identify three unique triggers that actually encourage a person to use social categories unconsciously:

The ease at which inferences can be created with the help of social categorization also means that people have a tendency to refer to social categories whenever appropriate situations present themselves (i.e. when a new person is introduced).

Since we refer to social categories often, we also have a tendency to utilize stereotypical information even when we are simply evaluating an event or a person. There is a tendency for a person to develop selective memory, too.

For example, if we met someone new and someone told you that this person was a truck driver; specific traits of this person would be more accessible than others. For example, if the person was talking on his cellphone and smoking at the same time, the most striking trait (and therefore, the most information ally accessible one) would be the smoking trait since there is a stereotypical association between smoking and truck drivers (the same way that thick rimmed glasses are associated with academically inspired individual).

As you can see, social categorization actually affects a person‟s ability to focus on certain things. If we learned that a person belong to Social Category A, we would no longer pay attention to traits that belong to Social Categories B, C & D.So in essence, when a person makes use of social categories, he is actually making use of different "lenses" that modify his perspective of things. Social categories also have a profound effect on people's impression and assimilation of information as well as their behavior.

Simply put: if a social category is used on a person long enough and if there is no resistance from the other person, then the social category would be eventually used as a basis for a new self-schema.

So if a student was always tagged as a “slow learner” and there were always zero expectations about the student, then eventually, the student would find no reason to improve himself and he will adapt the traits of the social category that was being used to classify him.

Inversely, a person who has always been regarded as a successful worker would find ways to live up to people's expectations as this would also have a positive impact on his self-concept.

There is also neurological proof that social categories/social impressions and actual actions have a big connection – according to research, one region of the premotor cortex is activated when a person is regarding something (i.e. evaluating something) and when he is finally doing whathe was simply observing before. Behavioral assimilation, which can result from a person‟s exposure to social categories and prototypes, can have an adverse effect on a person‟s academic performance, too.

Negative stereotyping can lead to underperformance as evidence by many studies that proved that when a person conforms to social categories that relate to sex, race, etc., they would unconsciously underperform to conform to the stereotype.

For example, it has been discovered in one study that women tend to underperform in Mathematics exams because the general stereotype is that women are better at language than men, but men are better at mathematics than women.

How We Rationalize The Behavior Of Others

August 15, 2012 0 comments

Imagine going to work one day feeling extremely happy because you got some good news. Naturally, you want to spread the good cheer to your office mates, so you make eye contact with an office mate that you rarely talk to and smile to him.

You wave your hand a little to say "hi"to the person. In return, your office mate literally slams down his hands and storms out of the office, leaving papers and pens scattered in his cubicle. Your office mate is visibly upset by something.

Was it you who did that? What could have triggered such behavior from your office mate? As you think of the reasons why a person would behave in such a manner, you are actually attributing potential causes of the other person's reaction and behavior.

Attribution is the foundation of social cognition or how folks like you and me think about other folks. At the outset, attribution itself is more about rationalization than epistemology. Attribution is more concerned with linking together what you already know than generating new knowledge about a particular even.

Humans, being critical and rational beings, engage in attribution due to two basic reasons:

People need to come up with a perspective of their society and its members that would make complete sense to them.
Attribution demystifies events and interactions with other people which in turn reduce the strangeness of the world at large. Rationalization, coupled with better understanding, can give a person more control over his own life and the actual reality that he is in.

People feel the need to attribute in everyday life because the process of attribution produces not only potential reasons why an event happened the way it did but because this process also actively gives meaning to the world that we live in. Meaning itself can only be possible if a person thinks about something.

Meaning does not exist in a vacuum, to be picked up by people as they please. You have to think in order to make sense of something that is in front of you. People create meaning; meaning does not "find" a person. If a person says that the meaning of life revealed itself to him in a dream it is more likely that he has been obsessing about this topic for quite some time and his brain finally gave him an answer.

Kinds of Attribution

There are two general categories of human attribution: internal attribution and external attribution. When people try to make sense of an event, they can either attribute the event to internal traits and characteristics or they can attribute it to external forces and circumstances. Here‟s an example: imagine that you were walking in a quiet street when all of a sudden, a car screeches out of control and „parks‟ itself on the sidewalk. All its lights are flashing but it didn't hit the small store that was standing a few inches from its bumpers. You observe how the driver nonchalantly backs up his car and drives away after the frightening display. You try to figure out what just happened and you come up with these causes:

Internal attributions:

“Maybe the driver is just plain crazy!”
“The driver has to be drunk to do that kind of stunt.” “The guy has to be in a really bad mood.”
“Maybe he the guy is just learning how to drive.” “That guy doesn't know how to park properly!”

External attributions:

“Maybe he got spooked by a big truck somewhere.”
“The guy's brakes got jammed, probably.”
“The car is old, maybe that‟s why he can't control it well.” “Maybe this just wasn't a good day for him.”

Internal and external attributions can also be further sub-categorized as being stable or fluctuating. For example, an attribution that someone has poor driving skills means you are invoking stability or natural ability while an attribution that the guy has probably had one too many drinks means you are invoking temporary or fluctuating conditions. Both types of inference or attribution are affected by varying degrees of controllability (i.e. drinking alcoholic beverages versus not drinking any alcohol before driving).

The How and Why of Attribution

There are two main theories regarding the process of attribution in varying social contexts: the correspondent inference theory and the co- variation model. Both these theories are helpful in figuring out how people are able to create their own explanations of events and situations that they meet every day.

Correspondent Inference Theory

The first theory of attribution stipulates that people make inferences about other people that are indicative of internal traits and characteristics, instead of external circumstances. Why do people choose to think of internal characteristics instead of external circumstances?

The answer lies in people's general preferences for stability. For example, if you meet a waiter who was not very helpful when you wanted to order something special for yourself and your partner, it is likely that your first attribution to such a behavior is that the waiter was simply incompetent.

Since the waiter has already been tagged incompetent, the tag of incompetence will remain in the future. So in essence, you have been able to exert some degree of control over the situation since you will be avoiding the waiter in the future to avoid inconvenience.

People don't usually attribute things based on external circumstances. For example, if you did not get the kind of service that you wanted from a restaurant, you won't think that maybe the waiter is just having a bad day or maybe the management was evil because they did not train the waiter adequately.

The instant tendency is people attribute internal characteristics to behavior, actions, speech, etc.

Since we are always on the lookout for even more stability in our lives, such inferences gives us the kind of knowledge and control that we want because internal characteristics such as “incompetence” or “rudeness” are essentially unchanging attributes. We attempt to associate behavior and people‟s personalities based on three groups of facts:

- Social desirability
- Choice
- Non-common effects

Let's discuss these three fact groups. Social desirability refers to the desirability of a person's behavior compared to what is considered acceptable/normal/agreeable or desirable in society in specific contexts.

People believe that when people show undesirable behavior, this undesirable behavior is linked to an internal trait or internal characteristic. People use this fact group to create attributions because people usually want to stay within the bounds of acceptable behavior at all times.

When a person stays within the bounds of what is considered normal or acceptable, he will not be excluded in any way. Inversely, a person who chooses to act beyond the bounds of what is considered acceptable may be excluded or ridiculed for what he has done.

This ridicule itself has a function – in a way, it forces a person to cease from performing the same unacceptable behavior and return to what is considered normal. Now, let me ask you: do socially desirable behaviors tell us what type of person we are actually dealing with?

The answer is: not necessarily. You see, people perform "acceptable behavior" on a regular basis so they can avoid exclusion. In a way, this is one form of self-preservation.

If Person A's car was slightly scratched by another motorist, he will accept the apology and attempt to fix the situation with the least amount of hullabaloo because this is the acceptable mode of behavior in such a situation.

However, this behavior does hide the fact that Person A may have felt like being aggressive and violent when his car was damaged. What about people who show undesirable behavior?

It's the direct opposite when you are dealing with people who openly show to the public unacceptable behavior. Since these folks are not even thinking of socially acceptable behavior anymore, their behavior may be indicative of their actual internal traits and personalities.

The second fact group involves free choice. People can make inferences about another person's behavior by evaluating whether or not the other person's action was freely and consciously chosen or not. If a person freely chose to do something then by virtue of his conscious choice he is actually revealing a part of himself to the public eye. Why would a person freely choose to do something? The answer is simple: the decision resonates with his personality and beliefs.

The third fact group deals with unique consequences. When an action or behavior results in a unique consequence, a person can classify the same as having a non-common effect.

Events that have unique consequences or non-common effects are most likely caused by internal traits (i.e. a person who screams at people at the slightest provocation will be despised by people; that person will also be classified as being anti-social and aggressive and ultimately, he should be avoided by others).

The Co-variation Model

The obvious limitation of the first theory is that you would only be able to analyze singular events or behaviors. You won't be able to take into account behavior patterns and multiple behaviors. The co-variation model of attribution handles the limitations of the first theory. The co-variation model, unlike the first theory, takes into account internal traits/characteristics as well as external circumstances. The core principle of the co-variation model is simple: for something to cause or trigger a particular behavior, it must be present when a person is exhibiting the behavior. On the flip side, the behavior must not exhibit itself when the potential cause is absent.

Three types of information are vital to the co-variation model:

- Consensus
- Consistency
- Distinctiveness

All three clusters of information are used by a person to create an internal attribution or external attribution. Consensus refers to similar behavior of people around the target subject. Are other people exhibiting the same behavior as the subject? Consistency on the other hand answers the question: does the person behave in the same way in other occasions? Distinctiveness (the third cluster) refers to the frequency of a particular behavior in other contexts and situations (i.e. will a rude person stay rude if he was doing volunteer work?)

The following table explores how people make attributions based on the three clusters:

Cluster	Degree	Type of Attribution
Consensus	High consensus Example: Everyone is driving strangely.	Situational
	Low consensus Example: Only Person A is driving strangely.	Dispositional
Consistency	High consistency Example: Person A drives	Dispositional
	strangely all the time.
	Low consistency Example: Person A drove strangely today.	Situational
Distinctiveness	High distinctiveness Example: Person A drove strangely on Monday.	Situational
	Low distinctiveness Example: Person A has always driven strangely around the city.	Dispositional

Not every situation will be analyzed with these three distinct clusters of information. Sometimes, people just stick to one or two clusters and attribute causes to behavior without bothering with the third cluster.

The presence (or absence) of any of these clusters will dictate whether a situational (external) or dis-positional (internal) attribution will result from a person‟s analysis of a situation.

If a person sees that everyone in the environment is doing the exact same thing (i.e. students in a whole auditorium is wearing a red cap) then the attribution will most likely be situational.

However, if only the speaker is wearing a red cap, then the attribution will most likely be dis-positional (i.e. the speaker likes wearing red caps). It should be noted also that not everyone performs analysis based on the co-variation model. In fact, when you look at the co-variation model, it actually resembles a conscious train of thought that requires utmost attention. This doesn't mean that the model is wrong; it just means that at any given time, a person can be using other methods of deduction to understand the world at large. The two theories we have just discussed are by no means strict rules that people follow.

According to researchers, people often react to situations based on gut feel or what people like to call their instincts. People won't spend a lot of time thinking whether or not a person should be trusted. If a person is threatened by another person, he will instinctively avoid that person because he will be acting instinctively.

In a way, this is how people engage in self-preservation. And this is also how people show that they will always choose the path of least resistance when interacting with people, especially people who are showing behaviors that are not socially acceptable. In short: people like shortcuts when it comes to the process of making attribution and analyzing things.

How to Increase Compliance with Agreement Sets

August 15, 2012 0 comments

When it comes to agreement sets, you're basically actively pacing and leading the other person to comply with what you want him to do.

Instead of just opening the possibility of compliance, you will actually be holding the other person’s hand during a hypnotic induction and ask him to do something for you at the end. It’s a little advanced than most hypnotic language patterns but I can assure you, it can work in many situations. How does an agreement set work? Here’s how it works: the human mind was designed in a way that when it picks up verifiable facts, it tends to question succeeding statements and ideas less and less until trust is finally established and compliance becomes imminent.

“As you are reading the manuscript, enjoying the different lessons on hypnotic pacing and leading, you will enjoy practicing these great hypnotic patterns even more”

Do you see how an agreement set comes together in a statement? The first two parts of the statement can be verified easily by the subject. The third and final element in the statement can’t be verified but by the time the subject reaches the third part of the stamen he has already been conditioned mentally to agree with whatever you want to say.

It’s a sneaky strategy and it works beautifully each and every time. And the best thing about this strategy is that it allows you to gain compliance without deceiving anyone at all. Notice that this pattern focuses only on what is true and what can be verified easily by the senses.

The Thought-Disruption Pattern

The Thought-Disruption Pattern is another brutally simple HLP that can be used to give embedded commands. The Thought- Disruption Pattern can be used when you think you have lost footing in a conversation and you really need to bring back the subject or the group to your desired issue.

Here’s the formula:

Step 1: Provide a diversion statement (i.e. “Crazy game last night!”)

Step 2: Wait for the subject to respond; if there is no response, try another diversion statement until it finally works.

Step 3: Begin asking questions that would lead the other person to agree with you (i.e. “Would you like to make more money than you have ever dreamed possible?”)

Step 4: Introduce the desired topic when the subject has complied with you.

Covert Tip:

All hypnotic language patterns can be used to effectively change people’s perception of ideas and events. For example, if you have to delegate a task to someone you know is already busy with other tasks; you can use the redefining pattern to show the other person a different view of the situation.

Just how can this be achieved? Here’s a good example: let’s say you had to manage a group of people on a daily basis. Delegating different tasks can be difficult especially during that time of the year when people really have to work double time just to meet deadlines.

What would you do when people start showing resistance to the idea of receiving more tasks from their manager? Normally, managers would just use their position to get what they want. It’s the normal process; employees or team members don’t usually complain because they are afraid of losing their job.

You may be able to delegate tasks this way but in the final analysis, people around you may be losing faith in your ability to become a good manager. That can become extremely problematic in the long term. We want harmony in any business setting right?

You can achieve this harmony by shifting another person’s perception through a HLP, like the agreement pattern. So if the subject is saying that he can’t accept the new task, you can tell him something like “I agree that you are indeed overburdened with several tasks at the moment and that means that we have to work really hard to identify which tasks are urgent and which ones can be put last on the list”.

The way I used the redefining pattern in the last statement helped me accomplish several things:

1. I was able to express agreement, which defused the situation immediately.

2. I was able to acknowledge the condition of the subject, which is another defusing technique. People tend to become more defensive and resistant if a person feels that the speaker has no idea what he is going through at the moment.Hypnotic Language Patterns Volume 1

3. I was able to embed a command in the statement, which also doubled as a solution to the implied problem of the subject (being overburdened with work).

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